Collection of Songfics
by FlawDiamonds
Summary: A sparkling new collection of songfics related to the pairings Valduggery, Valpine, Valguine, Ghaskyrie, Ravelyrie and Dexkyrie! Feel free to send me some suggestions as well! READING and REVIEWING would be much appreciated as this is my first fanfic! Lots of lovely doses of romance! Cheers!
1. Something About Us - Valduggery

~ Collection of songfics. ~

**Disclaimer: I don****'****t own anything even remotely related to Skulduggery Pleasant. I don****'****t own any of the amazing songs that will be mentioned in this fic. **

**Valkyrie POV.**

_Something about us __–__ Daft Punk_

'_It might not be the right time__'_

I stole a glance at the impeccably dressed skeleton next to me. He was always so sure of himself. He didn't second-guess anything he did. Shoulders back, gloved hands gripping firmly to the steering wheel, same devilish smile on the same skeletal skull. His face was emotionless, giving nothing away to his inner feelings. In other words, the complete opposite to me. My eyes slanted down at the realisation and I felt a notch of desperation gather itself in the depths of my throat. I wanted to impress him so much. I frantically wanted to show him how much I had grown. Obviously he could see what time had done to me physically. I was now a well-built human war machine. Not that it seemed like he cared, or even noticed for that matter. I didn't really mind, I just wanted to show him how independent I've become and that I'd developed emotionally.

I pushed myself back, sinking further into the Bentley's wonderfully plush passenger seat. After so many years sitting in the same position, the chair had basically moulded to me and every time I got into the car I felt at ease. But this morning was different. When I heard the luscious purr of Skulduggery's car engine out the front of my house I felt anxious and panicky, like some part of me knew that after this car ride my relationship with Skulduggery would change completely. I didn't know how to feel about that and I was surprised Mr. Pleasant didn't notice a change in my behaviour. I was acting nervously, when he asked me how I was I stumbled and grumbled with my words. Sitting in the seat now felt uncomfortable, like wearing a new pair of high heels for the first time.

A nagging thought kept pushing itself to the front of my mind. The further I swept it back into the dark corners of my mind, the more it crept back up to the front of my head, staring at me in the eyes. I couldn't do what the pressuring thought told me to do, I wouldn't, I simply shouldn't.

'_I might not be the right one__'_

'You have to though.' A sneaky voice in my mind chided. I sighed inwardly as I knew it was right. I couldn't go on much longer pretending that everything I was fine and dandy with me and Skulduggery being just friends. I knew that it would ruin our friendship forever, there would be no snatching it back after I said three easy-to-say-but-hard-to-comprehend words. Thinking about the subject of me and Skulduggery advancing into an intimate relationship made my head pound so I tried to concentrate on something else. I decided to concentrate on Skulduggery's movements.

I heard a click next to me and I realised Skulduggery had flicked the left indicator and I stared at him as he smoothly pulled the car to turn round a corner. His head flicked to me and tilted at an adorable angle which let me know that he was smiling. I stared in longing at those gleaming white teeth that I had dreamt of kissing more than once. All too soon he turned his head back to the road ahead. I didn't even realise that the car was coming to a stop until we had stopped moving. I looked to Skulduggery in question only to be greeted with his torso turned to me, giving me the feeling that I had his undivided question.

'_But there__'__s something about us I want to say__'_

"Valkyrie." That voice filled my head with sweet serenity. I wanted to arch my back and let his voice spill over me in soft, teasing waves. I wanted to hear him speak my name over and over in that marvellous voice. Of course I would never get that chance to have my silly dreams become reality but I still wanted it all the same. I lifted my head up so my gaze met his eyeless one. My dark curtain of hair parted as soon as my head made movement to face him. It was a mistake looking into his eye-sockets because the action set my stomach aflutter with skeletal butterflies. My moonlight eyes travelled down his slim body, I nodded inwardly in satisfaction. He never let me down in his fashion sense. Lust spilled into my eyes due to the fact that the thought of me stripping him of his suit filled my head.

"Valkyrie!" He called again, snapping me out of my mischievous thoughts. I jumped slightly at his vaguely annoyed tone.

"Mm?" I answered in a distracted tone. He pulled his head back, the way he always did when he was looking at a problem and trying to solve it with his detective skills. The thing was though, I didn't want to be a problem.

"I haven't said anything for quite some time now, but I'm worried about you. You don't talk to me anymore. You've been acting so distant and preoccupied around me. I want to try and help you Val, please talk to me." As he was speaking in a soft tone, he reached his hands and placed them on my shoulders. My eyes widened in surprise. Skulduggery was never one for being "touchy-feely" and being sensitive to others. So I figured that the way I had been acting must have concerned and troubled him a lot more than what he let on. A surge of shame filled me but I quickly discarded the feeling and focused on answering Skulduggery.

"I'm sorry Skulduggery, I have no idea what you're talking abo-"

"Don't say that Valkyrie! Don't sit there and say something's not wrong when I know something is. I'm a detective for a reason. So I'm going to ask again what's wrong and you can't use Darquesse as an excuse either!" The sharp tones in his voice made me want to crawl up into a ball and shy away from him. There was no way I was going to sit there and confess my love for him. Oh God that sounded so foolish.

"But what if Darquesse is the reason? My concern about her grows more and more each day Skulduggery."

"I understand that Valkyrie and you of all people know that I do. You always talk to me about your concerns and questions concerning Darquesse, so she can't be the reason."

"It is her! Skuld-"

"Val you can't blame everything on Darquesse. You don't see me blaming everything on Lord Vile do you?"

Dammit. He had me there. I couldn't run anymore. This was it.

'_Cause there__'__s something between us anyway__'_

I couldn't even comprehend what I was about to do. I had no idea how to even begin to explain why I was acting so strangely for a while. I swallowed once. Then about four times after that.

Nervous tension had filled the air and I was the cause of it. I mentally shuddered at the pressure of Skulduggery's gaze. Lord please help me and give me the courage to speak what I've needed to say for years now.

'_I might not be the right one__'_

Thinking about me and Skulduggery now, seemed ridiculous! I mean, all my fantasising had all been in vain because at the end of the magical day, he was a skeleton and I was a human. He was over 400 years old and I was 20 years young. His alter ego was Lord Vile, a being that was supposed to be the bringer of death and my alter ego was Darquesse, the supposed destroyer of the world. Staring at the facts, 'IMPOSSIBLE' was written all over even the thought of Pleasant and I being together.

'_It might not be the right time__'_

I ran through where we were and what time it was. If I ever had to confess my love to Skulduggery I had hoped it would be a slightly more romantic time and place. But given the current circumstances, it was either tell him now or never.

'_But there__'__s something about us I__'__ve got to do__'_

"Val-"

"Just give me a second Skulduggery, please. What I'm about to say is hard for the both of us."

He seemed to pick up on my tone because he removed his hands from my shoulders to give me space.

'_Some kind of secret I will share with you__'_

Heart thumping, head pumping, courage fumbling, I didn't think I could do this.

"Skulduggery Pleasant, my hero, best friend and mentor. You've always been there for me and I guess I sometimes come off as ungrateful but I'm telling you right now that I'm not and I never will be. I'm grateful for the small things even. I'm grateful that you even came into my life. I lean on you when I need help standing, physically and emotionally," He gave a small nod and a chuckle at that, "but what I have to tell you now is something I have to say when standing on my own. I couldn't have asked for a better person/skeleton in my life."

"Skulduggery,"

"_I need you more than anything in my life__,"_

"_I want you more than anything in my life,__"_

Skulduggery froze. I didn't think he liked where this was going. Oh well, he wanted to know what was wrong.

"_I__'__ll miss you more than anyone in my life,__"_

"_I love you more than anyone in my life.__"_

Skulduggery didn't say anything once I had finished. He just stared, not at me, but through me. Too many thoughts were running through my head until they all compressed into one, which was now screaming at me.

'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?' I wanted to block the voice out. I tried reminding myself I had made the right decision, for my own sake. If Skulduggery hadn't tilted his head at me at that moment, I probably would have bolted out the very nice Bentley and just legged it somewhere where a black hole could come and eat me up.

"Um, Skulduggery? Are y-" I was cut off by a _very_ nice set of dead teeth upon my lips. Leather hands were pressed and gripping my hips, pulling me closer to my lip captor. For the first time in my life, that little voice had gone quiet. I had proved it wrong. I was the victor! I had a lovely skeleton in my arms and I was going to be damned if I did something to stop it. Kissing Skulduggery was different but I could do different. I inhaled his scent as he tangled a hand in my hair. He smelt of vintage jasmine and sandalwood. His aura filled my head with sweet thoughts and just as I thought I would drown in his scent he pulled away, leaving me breathless.

"Don't scold me for asking a stupid question, but what does this mean Skulduggery?" I gestured to the space between him and I and I listened for his reply.

"It means that I, Skulduggery Pleasant, also love you more than anything in my life."

~END~


	2. Over My Head - Ghaskyrie

**Disclaimer: I don****'****t own anything. *Sobs quietly in a corner***

**Ghastly POV.**

_Over My Head __–__ Ne-Yo_

'_So I had someone, you had someone__'_

I found myself sitting in my favourite chair in my sewing room. I was currently working on a dress shirt of Skulduggery's. Him and Valkyrie had of course gotten into danger and had to battle it out with a group of rookie mages. They had gotten out of the fight unscathed except for a few nicks and scratches. Skulduggery though, with his sometimes reckless nature, just had to go and ruin the dress shirt I had given him only two days before hand. The man will never learn. At least Valkyrie was a bit more conscious of not ruining every piece of clothing I give her. Thinking of Valkyrie tugged at my heart but I didn't give a penny for that thought. That particular thought only lead to darker and more ill-behaved contemplations. I shook my head of even the word Valkyrie and instead focused on the soft whirring of my beloved sewing machine. The machine's humming soothed me and required me to relax further into my seat and to finish the task at hand.

'_We started out as nothing more than friends ooh__'_

My large, calloused hands directed the material underneath so that a white threaded path revealed itself seconds later. With a flick of the wrist and a hit of a button, the machine's purring had stopped and I was left with nothing to do except for gather Skulduggery's shirt into my hands, wrap it up and feel the weight of silence. I pushed the chair out from behind the desk and strolled over to the small cupboard which was filled with my package paper. I was just about to grab the handle to reveal the contents inside which I had seen so many times before, until I heard the sounds of an engine being cut off outside the front of my tailor's shop. Ears straining, I tried to figure out who was trotting up to my shop door. A polite knock on the door and a familiar voice rang through my shop.

Valkyrie.

Hearing her call out my name was simply _ravishing, _to say the least. I didn't even realise I had turned on my heels and made my way to the front door until I recognised the dark beauty that stood smiling before me. My, my, her very aura was entrancing. A small smile appeared on my blemished face. It was a wonderful surprise to see her at my shop unannounced.

"Hey Ghastly! Sorry to come over without giving you notice but I need to talk to you for a sec, can I come in?" She asked me sweetly. How could I say no?

"Val, it's lovely to see you. Come on in, excuse the mess though." She nodded her appreciation and I stepped aside to let her through. A trail of pure ecstasy was left in her wake. Breathing in her scent was like shaking hands with the Devil. You never really knew what you were getting into. My hazel eyes were ignited with a fire of lust. Desire coursed through me as I let my eyes fall onto her slender body making its way through the shop.

'Get a hold of yourself Bespoke.' I scolded mentally.

"Would you like a drink or anything Valkyrie?"

Long, midnight hair was flicked over a leather jacketed shoulder to reveal an angelic face.

"If you're serving up any tea I'll have a cup," Valkyrie took the time to grin at me as I nodded at her, "thanks Ghastly." There was that enchanting voice again. This time though, her tone had dropped into something much more, seductive. I avoided looking at her as I shuffled my feet into the small kitchen. I strained my mind in trying to think of anything instead of her. I failed abysmally. I began to think I was sick in the head for thinking of Valkyrie in an intimate way. Sadly, it couldn't be helped. After retrieving two cups from the cupboard I gathered the tea bags. I was in the middle of filling the cups up when I heard Miss Cain speak from behind me. I turned around to find her leaning against the doorway, the light from the kitchen casted delicate shadows on her delicate face.

'_But as the time got spent__'_

"Tell me Bespoke, how's business been?"

"It's been travelling fairly smoothly, a bit slow on certain days but that's to be expected. Thank you for asking." This was the perfect distraction. If I can just hold Val's attention on a certain topic it would help get my mind off her.

"I guess it is to be expected. Can I ask Ghastly, how did you feel when Skulduggery dropped off the dress shirt you had gotten for him two days ago, in shreds?" A grin had spread itself on her face and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"I'm not going to lie Cain, I was slightly annoyed. Actually, scratch that, I was infuriated. But what am I going to? It's Skulduggery for Heaven's sake, the man will never change." After my sentence, I had earned a good, hearty laugh and a knowing smile from Val. I'd pay good money to hear that laugh every day.

"You hit the nail on the head on that one Ghastly, I can tell you that right now. Speaking of his shirt, I actually came round to pick it up."

"Oh no Valkyrie, don't tell he's got you vacuuming his house as well? I'll have to have a good talk with him." I turned back around to collect Valkyrie's and mine cups so we could go and sit down on the couch. She obligingly accepted the cup with a small thank you.

"No, ha ha, it's nothing like that. I had to come 'round to talk to you anyways but I thought that while I was here I might as well pick up his shirt." She took a seat on my three-seater leather couch.

"Okay, whatever you say Val. I believe you," I winked at her, "I'll be right back, I'll get Skulduggery's shirt for you." I left her sitting there on my couch by herself for a couple of minutes while I fetched the expensive shirt. I let my mind wander off into thoughts questioning my attraction to Valkyrie. Sure, her appearance must have played a part in my attraction but it was much more than that. I remember the first time I saw her, the expression on her young, innocent face when she saw my hideous scars. Her expression didn't read that she was petrified or disgusted, her expression was one of wonderment and awe. It seemed as if my scars intrigued her, like she wanted to reach out and touch them. I simply adored her from then on, even though I had tried to convince her not to get involved in the magical world. It is selfish of me to think that I'm secretly glad that she ignored my protests because I've gotten to love her as a best friend and yet I ponder that thought all the time.

'_I started liking spending time with you more than him ooh__'_

I reached over and looked at the material in my hands. It was strange for me to realise that I looked forward to Skulduggery's visits because I knew Valkyrie would always be there with him. Is that like me saying that I liked seeing Valkyrie more than Skulduggery? No, of course not. That's preposterous! Skulduggery was my best friend but over the many years, Valkyrie had recently been filed under that category as well. What a conundrum. I couldn't believe what I was thinking about.

'Just get the shirt back to Valkyrie and find out what she wants to talk to you about.' That brought another subject to my attention, what did she want to talk about? Was it something serious? Or was it just for us to catch up? I quickly shut my mind down from anymore paranoid and anxious thoughts and briskly strolled back into the main room to meet with Valkyrie again. She gave me the sight of seeing her with a dazzling smile on her face as I flung the shirt her way.

"Thanks Ghastly."

"Don't even mention it. Now, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

A flash of recognition splashed across her face, "Oh! Well it's about my jacket and boots you made for me. I didn't want to say anything and I don't want to put any stress on you, but I was wondering if you could make me a new set of boots and a jacket. Preferably soon-ish. The jacket's become too tight because of my muscly build and my boots have become so scuffed over the years that they have no grip anymore. I know it's a lot to ask but I would be so grateful." Her tone was desperate, she was pleading to me. I knew it wasn't the cost that she was worried about, it was the fact of asking something of me or from me. My heart went out to her. I didn't understand though why she felt conscious in asking me to make clothes for her, I mean, making clothes is what I do for a living.

'_And it wasn__'__t what I mean to do__'_

"Yeah Val, that's fine. I told you business has been slightly slow recently so I'll get right onto your boots and jacket." I granted her a small smile. She looked so over-joyed at my answer so when I felt her arms wrap around my neck I jumped slightly and had confusion written all over my face. I was completely and utterly stunned at the luscious Valkyrie that was in _my _arms. My heart was absolutely pounding in my head and it seemed like the thumping was actually shaking my ribcage. I contemplated whether or not she could possibly feel my heart about to burst out my body. That same wonderful, truly magnificent smell had returned and it filled my nostrils. The sweet delight made me feel slightly drunk but I wanted more of it, so much more. I slowly gathered myself together and began to wrap my muscular arms around her waist, which in turn pressed her body further against mine. I felt her breath hitch in her throat and I thought maybe I had gone too far but she ended up snuggling her face in the crook of my scarred neck. I wondered what this all meant. I was confused but I was certainly enjoying it all the same.

'_Started thinking about kissing you__'_

"Ghastly?" She breathed down my neck, sending electrifying shivers down my neck. Oh my magical Jesus, that voice was just for me. I was certain of it.

"Mm?"

"I-I've been thinking about you for a while. Well, not just you, but me as well. Like us, together. I couldn't help it Ghastly, I'm just attracted to you so much. You treat me like an equal, unlike Skulduggery. I mean, I'm 24 years young for Heaven's sake and he still sometimes treats me like I'm twelve. When I'm around you, I can be myself. I don't have to put up a mirage when I'm with you. I don't have to act invincible and all tough and strong like I have to do around Skulduggery. I really like you Ghastly, I have for some time now." Only one word entered my mind at the end of her confession, 'WHAT!?'

Valkyrie just admitted that she felt something for me. She thinks about me the same way I think about her, the thought of that was insane. I mean I was hideous wasn't I? She wouldn't want to walk around in public with me? Good thing I have my façade. Now, how to reply to her confession? I didn't want to leave her hanging and thinking that I didn't think the same way about her, because I bloody well did.

'_Accidently, accidently ooh__'_

"Val, what can I say? You've crossed my mind so many times and there have been times when I have caught myself thinking about us being together as well. It's just, Skulduggery –"

"Doesn't have to know. I know the chances of him not knowing about us are very slim, but who cares what he thinks. He should be happy for us."

"I get that Val, I really do. But I've fallen in love with my best friend's best friend!" I let those words slip. I couldn't stop my mouth from forming them, it just came out I guess. Valkyrie leaned back to look at me and she stayed there, looking eerily still.

'_Suddenly out of the blue__'_

"You-Yo-You've fallen in love? With me? I've never thought about you that way, but now that you've brought it to my attention, it seems so _right._ I guess I was just scared to think about us in love with each other because I never, in my wildest dreams, would have thought you would have loved me back." Valkyrie stared me straight in the eyes so I knew she meant every word. She was in love with me, that much I knew. I also knew that I have never been so happy in my life at that moment.

'_Guess you was thinking about it too__'_

My eyes glistened at the thought of the years that we would spend together. Side by side, surrounded by all of our friends that love and care for us, I couldn't imagine a more perfect scene. I slid my hands to rest upon her hips and her eyes shone with a brilliant excitement. This was, as stupid as it sounds, the make it or break it moment. I was going to have to kiss her. Not that I was exactly protesting against the idea and so far I'd have to only be competing with Fletcher and Caelan so I was thinking the odds were in my favour, but still. I was nervous. I hoped that my hands wouldn't get clammy and sweaty while resting on her hips, that would not be a good time for anyone. I mentally inhaled as much air as I could manage before leaning in half-way. I didn't want to be at half-way for very long and I was so glad that she decided to join me.

'_Cause you kissed me__'_

I had never tasted something so sweet. It was the perfect mix of sugar, spice and everything nice. If every guy on the planet knew that Valkyrie kissed and tasted like this, there would an over-population in Ireland. I felt her hands slither down around my neck to change course and bring themselves up to cup my face. Her very being was enticing me in a way that no woman ever could. I now stood with one hand clutching her to me while the other was becoming entangled in her navy locks. Her lips pressed to mine fit like a puzzle piece, there was a million equations, but only one solution. She was definitely my one solution. I was startled when she started to deepen the kiss, pulling me by my white shirt collar. Valkyrie led me to the couch and we collapsed in a heap but never daring to break the contact. This had been so many years' worth of waiting to express your feelings for someone so things were getting pretty drastic and heated. A 'tongue-tango' had ensued itself with mine and Valkyrie's tongue's taking part. Soft, beautiful, delicate hands had placed themselves around my biceps and my waist. Her capable fingers hooked into my trouser pant loop-holes when my calloused hands teased themselves by playing with the hem of her purple singlet. My scarred knuckles brushed against her skin and her skin ignited in goose bumps. A skin-splitting smile had emerged onto my face when I had caused her to get goose bumps. I started teasing her after that. I let my left hand trace intricate patterns on one side of her neck and I allowed my mouth to leave slow, cautious, playful kisses down the other side. Val let out a slight moan and had to bite her lip from groaning more with my hands splayed themselves on the outside of her thighs. She seemed too had had enough teasing and torturing because she pulled my mouth back down to hers, her lips regaining my full attention. The back of her hand was drifting across my scratched and scraped cheek and then I realised she was touching my scars. She was touching every one she could see with careful, knowing hands. I didn't mind though, it felt bloody wonderful. I didn't think Val even knew that she had said something until I had stopped kissing her.

"You're beautiful." She had whispered in between kisses. I looked at her incredulously and froze. A new emotion had just been flung into the deep pits of desire that hid itself in the darkness. That emotion was a mix between proud and relieved. I loved this woman so much because she loved every single flaw about me.

"Miss Cain, be mine."

"You didn't even have to ask."

~END~


	3. I'm Not Yours - Vilesse

**Disclaimer: I don****'****t own anything even though I badly wish I did. *Sad face***

**A/N: I just wanted to say a BIG thank you to all the people who have begun to read this fanfic. I hope you****'****re all enjoying it and feel free to drop some criticism here and there, good or constructive! I also would love to hear feedback from you guys! Cheers! **

**Normal POV.**

_I__'__m not yours __–__ Angus and Julia Stone_

'_Light me up a cigarette and put it in my mouth__'_

Valkyrie writhed inside Darquesse's mind. She couldn't break her hold. This was it, she was gone. She was going to spend the rest of her days lost in Darquesse's abyss. For a solid week now Valkyrie had been forced to stand back, useless and watch the slaughter. Darquesse was ruthless. No one could stop her. After Remnant Tanith had taken drastic measures to reveal Valkyrie's true self, the dark-haired beauty had turned into a dark-haired beastly. There was one big, important catch though this time, it was permanent. Val hadn't even seen Skulduggery. What if he was dead? What if he had just run away instead of trying to help her? An exasperated sigh was drawn from her lips and her expression only shaded the infuriation in her voice. She missed Skulduggery, she missed her friends, her family. She had no idea where they were but she had a faint feeling that they were gone. She was destined to wonder the Earth a powerful, god-killing but alone monster. Sort of like the Incredible Hulk. At least The Hulk was a cool colour, unlike Darquesse.

'_You__'__re the only one who wants me around__'_

Valkyrie's mind was scratching for entry at Darquesse's but she was ignored. Darquesse was not even going to have a bar of her behaviour. She was the one in control and she planned on keeping it that way. A whirring shadow was flung at her from behind and Darquesse dodged it, barely unscathed. Wind whistling, hair whipping, Darquesse turned around to see who her next victim was. Eyes alight with fury at the attack, she stared at the being before her. Her anger was no longer boiling and had been brought down to a subtle simmer when she saw the armoured-clad entity in her line of fire.

"Vile." Darquesse sang delicately. At the mention of his name, Lord Vile tilted his head in curiosity at her and Valkyrie's heart swelled when she saw Skulduggery, wait, uh, Lord Vile.

'_And I can think of a thousand reasons why__'_

A teasing smile appeared on Darquesse's tantalizing lips. Her jet black jean-covered legs stalked seductively towards the shadows. They flicked and licked at her skin when she got too close so she remained a few feet away.

"May I ask why you're here my dear?" Her voice carried through the air to be retrieved by Vile's ears. Vile didn't reply. He didn't like talking, he deemed there to be no point in it. He already knew he was stronger than them. Darquesse on the other hand was something different entirely. He liked entertaining thoughts of him and Darquesse. He dreamed about another fight that would ensue between them. The thought made him shudder with excitement. To Lord Vile, Darquesse was a challenge to overcome. To Darquesse, Lord Vile was a challenge to _experiment_ with. Darquesse wasn't stupid, she was familiar with the feelings that would arise whenever the dark Lord was around because the same emotions coursed through Valkyrie when that Pleasant man showed up. She was attracted to a lump of necromancy to be completely honest. It was twisted, sick, strange, but Darquesse was a twisted, sick, strange person.

"What's wrong Vile? My stunning good looks have you tongue-tied?"

Vile shook his head in disbelief. Why would she tease him like this? He could destroy her if he wanted to, couldn't he? Lord Vile decided then and there that the supposed bringer of the end of the world would have to die by his hand. For Heaven's sake, the woman had him contemplating whether or not he was the most powerful being on the planet. That didn't go down well in his black-paged book. No one questioned Vile, not even himself.

'_I don__'__t believe in you, I don__'__t believe in you and I__'_

Darquesse stretched, her arms high above her head which in turn lifted her violet singlet to rest just under her breasts. A victorious smile had emerged on her face when she saw Vile tilt his head down to stare at her mid-drift. His shadows reacted, they became reckless at the thought of touching the tanned and toned skin.

"Should we get this fight over and done with Lord Vile? I've become tired at just standing here and doing nothing _interesting._" With a devilish gleam in her dark eyes, she beckoned the man before her to attack her. Which he did. The necromancer jumped at her, shadows flying this way and that. At first she had a hard time deflecting and dodging his advances but after a while she noted his mistake of making a pattern and could counter-act it. He stood with his arms out wide, sending small, searing spears of blackness at her. There were so many but they all ended up zero-ing on her so all she had to do was swipe them away with a shield of purple. While his shadows were still flying, she charged at him with full speed, knocking the shadows away all the while. The desert ground was kicked up beneath her feet and she could feel the scorching sun on her back.

'_Light me up a cigarette and put it in my mouth__'_

A crazed smile was plastered onto her face, just like her sweating hair was plastered to her scalp. She was in range now. Faking a flying right hook, she changed at the last second and aimed down low for Viles' legs. Vile's shadows had been brought up to guard his torso and head but that was his first mistake. Darquesse had been so quick and nimble that he didn't even realise his legs had been swept up from underneath him until he was laying helmet-first on the ground. His second mistake had been to lie on the ground for a second later to register what was going on instead of gathering himself up. His opponent had drawn her leg up and brought it crashing down on his back plate. He heard a terrifying crack and he wanted to gasp in pain. He wouldn't ever give Darquesse the pleasure of letting her hear that though. It was like bullets of fire were swarming constantly up and down where his spine should have been. It wasn't exactly what one would call a "pleasant" feeling. Vile heard Darquesse laughing, at him. That was all it took for him to block out the pain and swiftly turn around to hit with a wall of shadow abyss. She was flung away from him to his right and he stood up. No one laughs at Lord Vile. Only a fool would do such a thing. He gathered pillars of darkness in front of him in case she tried a split second attack from far away.

"You'll have to do a lot more than that to injure me Vile." Darquesse informed him. Now that she was standing on her feet again, Vile could see the damage he had done. The sheer power of the wall of shadows had dislocated her shoulder, leaving it an awkward angle. The left side of her gorgeous face had been practically shaved off down to the bone from sliding across the ground for so long and deep cuts and bruises had placed themselves strategically over her glamorous body. She was right of course, Vile had only caused minimal damage.

'_You__'__re the only one who wants me to die__'_

Valkyrie could no longer be heard in Darquesse's mind. It was like she had disappeared. Darquesse knew though that she was observing the fight. She was just as entranced by watching the events unfold just like Darquesse was entranced by Vile's very being.

Watching Darquesse repair herself was painful to watch, Vile didn't even want to know what it was like to do it firsthand. A satisfying pop could be heard and the bone had clicked back into place and at the same time, new skin was growing over the places where it was missing. Even the bruises were healed. Vile didn't like that the fact that he was at a monumental disadvantage. Ah well, defeating her is just another challenge isn't it? Clenching powerful fingers, Lord Vile raced towards Darquesse only to be met in the middle by the evil goddess herself. Punches, kicks and even a few slaps were thrown left to right. Some landing, some not. Vile had skill, speed and defensive manoeuvres since he had had much more time than Darquesse to develop and advance his fighting abilities. So where Darquesse lacked, Vile excelled but it was also vice versa. Darquesse surpassed in sheer power, ruthlessness and surprise attacks. Hand to hand combat between the two, save for a few deathly shadows, was pretty much an even fight. They were wearing each other out though.

'_And I can think of a thousand reasons why__'_

Vile had sneaked a left low hook into Darquesse's hip which caused her to growl. It wasn't a growl of pain though, it resembled a growl of satisfaction.

'Rather peculiar.' Lord Vile thought to himself. Darquesse lunged but Vile saw it coming so he used her motivation to fling and slam her over his shoulders. He heard a grumbling crack and he quickly flipped around to notice Darquesse lying with her back to the fissured floor. She was about to lift herself up but Vile put a stop to that when he lunged at her, tackling and pinning her successfully to the ground. His armoured knees sat on her arms so they were immobile. Her legs had no use as she couldn't reach her knee high enough to drive it into the back of Vile. This was the moment Vile had been waiting for, to defeat Darquesse. He was going to obliterate the woman who seemed infatuated with him. He was never going to her pretty little head again. At that thought Vile froze. Instead of being overjoyed at the thought of claiming her life, he felt disappointed and even slightly remorseful. He would never have the pleasure of battling it out with her again. Lord Vile was mentally stuck in his decision making and Darquesse didn't know the reason as to why he had stopped in his tracks. He would have taken off her head by now. Darquesse certainly wasn't complaining about him stopping though, it gave her time to think about what her next move was going to be. She didn't really have a plan, she was physically stuck. She resembled a fish out of water just minus the flopping about gasping for air.

Darquesse couldn't even guess what Vile was thinking when he leaned his head in. He seemed to be studying her intently, like she was a puzzle that needed solving. Darquesse couldn't take it any longer. She pressed her lips to the slit in his helmet where his mouth would've been. Cold, compressed metal met her caressing lips. Vile pulled back, startled by her actions. He stared at the woman underneath him and realised that the kiss felt _good_. He wanted to do it again, so he did. He was sure that he didn't want to kill this woman anymore. Playing and toying with her like this was much, much more fun. Vile felt fingers trace the edges of his armour. His armour was so sensitive it felt like he was human again and getting touched for the first time. Darquesse's hands reach up and around his injured back, clinging to him. She mashed her mouth to his again and began to claw at the damaged armour. She knew he was sensitive there and that it caused him a lot of pain. She wanted him to kneel and beg for her pleasure. Lord Vile reacted to the sweet pain by gripping her waist harshly, making her gasp from the terrible hold.

Strong, muscled legs slowly wrapped around a metal waist which in turn made two hips meet flush together. Shadows mingled with shadows, both entities caressed each other, shivering in the mere feeling of touching one another. The kiss began to get ravenous. Darquesse and Lord Vile were so rough with each other but that was how they liked it. Even when caressing each other they tried to show who was the more dominant out of the two.

'_I don__'__t believe in you, I don__'__t believe in you__'_

Valkyrie Cain and Skulduggery Pleasant had to sit back and watch from afar what their alter-egos were doing. They were romantically involved and they both just tried to block out the thoughts and images that were forced into their heads. Both could agree that Darquesse and Lord Vile together were seriously messed up.

Their relationship was ridden with jealousy and possessiveness to say the least. It was an abusive one, their relationship. They used each other for their own gain and yet they wouldn't stand for it if someone hurt the other. To others they were the dominative couple. The two most powerful sorcerers in the world were together and evil. They were the most feared people throughout society and yet they had no care in the world. As long as they continued their twisted relationship, everything was going to be okay.

'


	4. Who's That Chick - Valguine

~Valkyrie x Billy Ray Sanguine~

**Disclaimer: I DON****'****T OWN ANYTHING. NOTHING I TELL YOU. I don****'****t even own any of the songs that are borrowed in this story. My life is so mundane :****'****(**

**A/N: I****'****m begging all you people out there who are reading/following this story to please review, review and review! I****'****m wondering whether I****'****m writing awful pieces because I haven****'****t been getting any reviews or whether I****'****m writing satisfactory pieces because I haven****'****t been getting any reviews! I need YOU to help me with my writing career! Please guys, I****'****m going out on a limb here as I don****'****t usually beg but that****'****s exactly what I****'****m doing right now! Anyways, with my pitiful pleading out the way, here****'****s a fun new chapter! By the way, there are definitely some sexual references and also alcohol use in this chapter so if you feel uncomfortable reading that type of material, then please don****'****t read this chapter! Cheers! **

**Normal POV.**

_Who__'__s That Chick __–__ Rihanna_

It took Valkyrie Cain a while to open her eyes as her mascara had smudged across her eyelashes, practically gluing them down. When she had finally pried her eyelids open, she immediately regretted it. The sunlight that drifted through the window burned her retinas and a diabolical headache had surfaced in her cloudy mind. She licked the dry taste away in her mouth and she tasted smeared lip gloss. She must have looked horrid. Her swirling brown eyes had begun to travel down the length of her body to inspect herself. The collection of red and gold bracelets that adorned her wrists had been pressed into her skin when she was sleeping and had caused deep purple rings of skin to appear. Her simple, tight little black dress had ridden up to rest on her toned stomach which revealed the lacy black underwear that she was wearing. She gasped and pulled the dress down quickly to cover herself. The sharp movement had caused her muscles to work and she hissed a little from the pain.

Looking around the small space Valkyrie occupied, she realised it was a shabby hotel room that she must have rented. She glanced to her left and at first saw an inexpensive vanity. She then saw her glossy red pumps strewn across one end of the room to the other. Her eyes rolled up and saw the cheap bedside table that was placed next to her. She went to turn over and see what was on the right side of the room but not before she stopped dead in her tracks when she heard the light snoring that was identified to be coming from someone next to her.

Her small heart was now thumping extremely hard in her chest. She was so scared to look over and see the person next to her. She hoped to the high Heavens that it wasn't Fletcher. It was definitely a male's snore and it was like the snore itself had a twinge of an accent she couldn't identify. She groaned inwardly and turned to face the music.

"AHHHH!" Valkyrie squealed as high as she could possibly muster and the sudden scream had woken the person next to her up with a jump.

"SANGUINE!? SANGUINE, BLOODY SANGUINE, OF ALL THE PEOPLE! BILLY RAY SANGUINE!" Billy Ray squinted his eyes groggily at the hyper-active next to him.

"Ha ha, you wanna know somethin' funny lil' darlin'? You were screamin' my name last night too." Valkyrie froze in her spot with her mouth open and her eyes wide. A furious blush had resided itself onto her porcelain cheeks and she scrambled up and away from the man that laid topless next to her. Thank the Heavens that the bed sheet was covering below his waist, she did not want to have to see what was under there. But from the evidence sprawled around the room, hadn't she already seen what was under those covers from last night?

'Don't go there Valkyrie Cain!' Her mind warned here.

She gathered herself up from the bed and put more air particles between herself and the handsome Texan that was strewn across the mattress.

"Let me get something straight Sanguine, before I pass out in shock of the current state we're in," with her cool hand pressed on her hot head she continued, "what exactly happened last night?" The sly Hit man – Deluxe grinned at the woman in front of him. He liked the way her skin crawled when his eye sockets swept over her body.

"Well my dear, we – ah, did the good ol' deed I 'spose ya could say. Did the dirty, in other words. We put the talk about the "Birds and the Bees" to practice – "

"Oh God, we made love!?" Valkyrie gasped in astonishment.

Sanguine's eye sockets grew wide as he held up his hands in protest. "Woah, woah! Slow down there lil' darlin'! Who said anythin' 'bout love? We didn't "make love" because we're not in love, ya followin' what I'm saying here sweet cheeks?" Valkyrie looked at the stressful creases that had formed on Billy Ray's forehead. It was actually surprisingly amusing to see him looking worried for once. Instead of a beautiful, charming, cocky smile being plastered on his face, a concerned and anxious frown was.

"Yeah right, sure. What was I saying? Um, I'm actually quite freaked out right now. I might actually faint so uh, excuse me. I'm going to the bathroom." She turned on her heel so quickly she got a light carpet burn on her foot. She lunged into the bathroom and pressed herself against the cold door, slamming it shut. The sudden change of temperature felt so good on her back but she was on the verge of spinning off into a dark abyss. Even the thought of her and Sanguine being…intimate was, disturbing, to say the least. The worst part about the whole event was that she didn't remember any of it. Just how much did she drink last night?

Her biceps twitched as she pushed herself off the door and forwards so she stood before the sink to rest her head on the reflecting surface above it.

"Bloody Hell Valkyrie, of all the freakin' people who had to sleep with!" Her quite voice whispered to no one in particular. She wanted to know so many things. She especially wanted to know why Billy Ray wasn't lunging for her throat or trying to drag her down below the surface to leave her for dead. Maybe last night he was working after hours so he didn't want to kill her?

'Ha ha Val. You're quite the comedian.' Valkyrie mentally wished away that annoying voice that kept surfacing in her mind. After a troubling sigh had escaped from her set of pale pink lips, she had turned the tap on to watch the frosty water burst from the tap. She looked at it dully before scooping it up into her cupped hands. An inhale of breath and a splash of water later, Valkyrie's face was dripping with clear liquid. But that was the wave of vertigo hit her. Her head pounded with the sensation as she remembered the tragic events that happened the night before. Her dark-haired head snapped up but instead of seeing her worn reflection she saw the dance floor at the club she went to last night.

'_Feel the adrenaline moving under my skin__'_

Tendrils of silky midnight hair was flailing about, clearing room for the woman dancing seductively in the middle of the room. The woman felt empowered and energetic. She didn't think that was just because of the amounts of alcohol she had been scoffing down all night either. It must have been the fresh, electric atmosphere that had cloaked and covered the entire club that affected the woman so greatly. Nothing was going to dampen her mood, not tonight. Her entire body felt like it was on a high. Her magic was buzzing inside her, or was that the alcohol? She didn't even know right from wrong anymore nor did she care. She was free as one could be when they're completely smashed. The feeling of aching feet had disappeared a while ago and she felt physically numb. So many men had begged or tried to get her attention but she sent them away with a glare, showing off her piercing chocolate eyes. It was fun though, getting attention from people who didn't want to kill her.

'_It__'__s an addiction such an eruption__'_

The bass dropped and the dancing woman hit it with all the right moves. Her sensual moves earned the attention of two guys who sauntered over to her. They tried to sandwich her with their bodies but she just slid out the side and laughed it off. She went to move and began to dance somewhere else when they approached her again. Didn't they get it? She didn't want to be squished and grinded on. It just wasn't her thing. The two men tried to "sandwich" her again but this time she pushed them away from her at arm's length. The men weren't even handsome or good-looking for Heaven's sake.

"Come on guys, just go back to the bar or something. There's no need for this." She told them sternly. The pure directness of her voice should have been enough to knock some sense into any sober man but she knew that these men were far from being sober, which posed a slight problem.

One of the men had a shaggy, greasy shack of hair on top of his head and was dressed casually in a jet black t-shirt completed with worn denim jeans and ruined converses. The other man was quite stocky and had a military-shaved head but was dressed nicely in a grey suit. The men looked complete opposites but they both had one thing in common, her. The confident woman turned her back and stumbled off, hoping the men would get the impression she didn't have time for their stupid antics. They didn't seem to get the memo though as they stalked after her while playfully shoving each other and laughing about who would get the first touch.

'_Sound is my remedy feeding me energy__'_

Defined, tanned, long legs strutted across the dance floor while keeping in time with the pounding beat. With a swift swish of navy locks, the pretty being checked behind her to see just how much feet her "stalk-ish companions" were gaining on her. It wasn't looking good. She needed a distraction of some sort or for someone to cut them off and talk to them. Her first plan was to gun it to the ladies bathroom but that plan was discarded when she realised the bathroom was back the way she had come. She looked around at her surroundings and she knew that she was running out of room to escape her would-be captors. The now concerned woman had reached her final end as she looked at the concrete wall now in front of her. A dark, secluded corner to her left but nothing but bright lights to her right.

She certainly couldn't turn back now, they were right on her tail. As a last resort she jumped into the dark abyss that was the corner to her left. It was a ridiculous plan and anyone would have thought that she could have come up with a better escape but she didn't. She wanted to remain unseen in her shaded corner so she put her wrists behind her back to stop any light from hitting the gold surfaces that adorned her skin. If there was anyone up in those clouds, she hoped they got her message. She didn't want people hunting after her, it was her night off and she didn't want her fun night out to be ruined by a couple of slimy, dodgy men.

'_Music is all I need__'_

'Deep breaths,' She chided mentally to herself, 'Calm down, they can probably hear her heart pounding!' After taking in some needed oxygen, her heart had returned to a normal pumping and it was now throbbing in time to the bass in the song that was playing. That gave her some source of comfort when the two suspicious men had come into her line of view again. They had their backs to her, luckily. But they were only a couple of steps away from her, leaving her very little space to move and make a run for it. So staying put to listen in to their conversation seemed to be the best choice at that moment.

"Where did she go?" The one with the greasy hair turned his grey eyes to the man next to him.

"How would I know? I've been following you the whole time." A retort from the guy in the suite received a glare from the other man.

"She couldn't have exactly run off could she? We were trailing her this whole time. I'm not going to just walk away this time and fine someone else; we're going to find her. I'm hungry and she has the most wonderful scent. Something about her is peculiar and I want to find out if it's something to do with her crimson liquid that is running under her skin."

"You don't think I'm suspicious as well Leon? I'm just as hungry as you are, if not hungrier,"

The on-edge woman mentally noted down that the one with the bad hair was named Leon.

"The scent of her blood simply thrills me and I want to know what it would be like to taste it. I want to feed off her body and –"

"Jaxen! Get a hold of yourself! We're in public, remember? Your fangs have come out from their hiding."

'Vampires, just as I thought.' The woman's eyes went wide at the realisation. Two vampires in a club full of people are not good. She had guessed that they had taken some serum so they wouldn't change compulsively but she wondered why Jaxen's fangs had come out. Maybe there's a loop-hole in the serum?

"Jaxen, we need to follow her scent. Slow your body down and focus on her intoxicating smell." Leon had already closed his eyes and had a look of pure bliss at the thought of breathing in the smell of her blood.

The female wriggled in discomfort. It wouldn't take them long to catch onto her fragrant blood since they were so close to her. There was no way she could run away in heels. She'd have to stay and try to fight both of them off. The one whose name was Jaxen had flipped around and stared in her direction. His eyes seemed to be something entirely different. Not the standard jet black colour all vampires had when they changed, but a kind of confused grey of sorts. This was just too weird.

Now that the woman had a clear view of Jaxen's face, she finally understood Leon's words when he said that his fangs had come out of their hiding. They were HUGE! Like, abnormally large and long in length as well. Instead of his pointy teeth grazing the top of his bottom lip they hung far below his bottom lip. He looked like a mix of a Vampire and a sabre-toothed tiger.

'You could just be imagining things, I mean you've had one-too-many drinks tonight girl. You're probably just imagining this.' She had to give her mind credit for thinking of that, she had had far too many vodka shots and more than enough Smirnoff's. Chances are she was hallucinating all of this. Maybe not the men but the fact that they were some kind of cross-species, yes, she was imagining all of that. There was no way it was possible.

With her new boost of confidence she strolled out of her corner and caught the look of surprise on Jaxen and Leon's faces. She strolled up to them with purpose and put on a face of impassiveness.

"Now gentlemen, I don't want to get with anyone or go home with anyone for that matter, I came here to have a good time dancing and getting drunk. I don't want foolish men bumping and grinding all over me like who had attempted before. So I'm asking nicely, please leave me alone and dance with someone else, thank you." The dark-haired beauty granted the men a brief smile before trotting off back into the mass of sweating and dancing people. She thought her small speech was enough to let them know that she wasn't in the mood for pitiful riff-raff. Just as she was about to breathe a sigh of relief her left arm was snatched in someone's clammy hand.

'_Baby, I just want to dance__'_

The force of the grab made her slightly stumble but she regained her composure quickly and whirled around to glare at the person touching her. She was aggravated to see Leon's hand on her wrist.

"Look, I already told you I don't wa-"

"Shut up!" He snapped at her, his own weird fangs had sprouted and were now dripping slowly with saliva. The woman wanted to pull back in disgust.

"Let go of me." Her voice now swam with seriousness and her eyes had narrowed into a demeaning stare. She went to shrug out of his grip but Jaxen had already grabbed a hold of her other wrist. With no other option left, the woman went to scream but a hand clamped its hand over her mouth. She thrashed about hoping to receive someone's attention but they two men quickly pulled her into her secluded dark corner.

With her arms no use to her due to their handy imprisonment, she reeled her left leg up and brought it down to land painfully on Leon's right foot. A husky shout came from Leon's mouth and he briefly relaxed some of the tension and pressure he had over her slender wrist. Jaxen had reacted quickly though and slammed his hand to the back of her neck making her cry out in pain and he then manoeuvred his hand to slam into her chin. Her head snapped back in shock and she went limp as her mind dove into darkness.

'_I don__'__t really care I just wanna dance__'_

Leon looked over at his companion's job in knocking the woman unconscious.

"Well done Jaxen but you could have at least found out her name before you knocked her out."

Jaxen shot him a look of annoyance, "Just be thankful that I knocked her out." Leon nodded at him and took his stance again next to his captive. He wound her arm over and around his neck and ordered Jaxen to do the same.

"We'll carry her out of here and go back to our apartment, if anyone asks she got completely hammered and passed out from too many drinks. Sound good to you?"

"And if it doesn't sound good to me…?"

"You won't be getting a feed off of her."

"Your plan sounds perfect then." Leon shot Jaxen a smile at his comment and they began to make their way through the crowd to get to the clubs doors on the other side.

'_I don__'__t really care__…__care__…__care__…__feel it in the air__…__yeah__'_

They were half way through the mass of people dancing and grinding each other when a girl wondered up to them with what seemed to be her boyfriend.

"Hey, is that girl alright?" The girl played with her dead-straight blonde hair with one hand while the other was in the guy next to hers hand.

The guy then spoke up, "Yeah she doesn't look too good."

Jaxen spoke first. "No need to worry, she's fine, she just consumed too much alcohol and passed out." A convincing smile plastered itself onto his face but the girl persisted, much to his dismay.

"Well then shouldn't we call an ambulance or something? What if she has alcohol poisoning?"

"No, no. I assure you she's quite alright. We're just going to take her back to my place and look after her. Don't worry, if she gets any worse we'll call an ambulance." Leon informed them.

The guy seemed quite relaxed after hearing that but the girl still seemed a bit unsure. She was about to say something else but the boy she was with tugged on her hand and re-assured her the girl would be fine. Seemingly satisfied when she heard it from someone she trusted, she bid farewell to the two conniving men.

"Geeze was she persistent!" Jaxen exclaimed while Leon just rolled his eyes.

With them finally making their way out of the clubs constricting room they breathed a sigh of relief as they made their way down the dark alleyway next to the club. They put her down, letting her lean against the dumpster that's smell was quite pungent.

"So, who gets first feed?" Leon asked Jaxen.

Jaxen seemed to be in deep thought until he answered with, "Paper, rock, scissors?"

"Fair call." Leon and Jaxen positioned themselves opposite each other and they were about to play when Jaxen's feet were pulled out from underneath him and he disappeared underneath the ground.

The poor bugger didn't even have time to respond or give a shout for help. Leon went to reach for him and snatch his hands before he disappeared underground but missed by centimetres.

"What the he-" Leon was cut off as he too was pulled under Mother Nature's soiled floor. Leon looked down at the sandy coloured hands that were roughly pulling him down further. Connected to the sandy coloured hands were sandy coloured arms and connected to those sandy coloured arms was a sandy coloured neck and face. Leon's eyes widened when he saw who his captor was.

A 'Hit man Deluxe' they called him. He was a villain, one of the most wanted and hunted and yet nobody could capture him. His special technique was probably why. Leon began to scream.

"Scream all ya want, nobody can 'ear you when you're so far underground." The Hit man Deluxes' words only made him scream even more but not before handfuls of dirt were piling into his mouth. He coughed and sputtered, failing to be rid of the soil that filled his mouth. Suddenly the rumbling of the crumbling ground around him stopped and he looked down to see his captor grinning madly at him. There was no room to breathe or move. The impact of his situation only just began to settle in.

"What's happening, why did you take me down here!?" Leon asked the Texan man.

"You my friend, have an issue with treatin' ladies the way they're supposed to be treated. The lil' darlin' you just captured deserves to be treated with respect. Something with so much class 'n' beauty deserves to be treated properly. You have failed in that area sir, so I have to go 'nd right your wrongs. Good ol' Billy Ray needs to go 'n' work his magic, if ya know what I mean." With a parting wink, Billy Ray skyrocketed away from Leon, leaving him in a heavily grounded abyss.

Billy Ray exploded up and out of the ground and began to walk towards the unconscious woman. Her legs were sprawled awkwardly, giving him a pleasurable view of her lacy black underwear. But being the gentleman that he was, he pulled her legs together as he kneeled down to check her vitals. His hand slipped under her chin and gently lifted it to inspect her face. Seemingly satisfied that it was the same beautiful face and complexion he knew of, he checked her arms and legs for signs of bruises. Her wrists had slight reddish marks giving the impression that the men had obviously used force to drag her outside.

Sanguine sighed in annoyance. If you're going to take someone at least do it right. You wear gloves so that you don't leave fingerprints and you don't use excessive force to leave the size of your handprint on them. Amateurs, what are you going to do with them?

'_She__'__s being a crazy dita disco diva and you wonder:__'_

Billy ray recalled her dancing in the club. She was a whole new meaning to the word seductive. It didn't even seem that she was even trying to reign in every guy's attention and yet she did. He remembered him thinking of approaching her but he knew how disastrous that would have turned out. He picked her up gently and cradled her unconscious frame closely to his body before tumbling down through the asphalt and making his way quickly to the cheap hotel room he rented. Feeling a fresh burst of air hit his face felt good and he strolled over to the door and made his way up to his room. He skillfully opened the door with one hand while he balanced the collapsed heap in his arms.

He waltzed in, placing the woman on the bed and went into the bathroom to fill up a cup he had retrieved from the front desk for her. He stood at the faucet waiting for the glass cup to fill and wondered what he was going to do when she came back around. He shut the thought down though when he agreed to just deal with it when it happened.

'_Who__'__s that chick? Who__'__s that chick?__'_

Sanguine turned around and made his way back into the room but stopped in his tracks when he saw the sheets dishevelled and his dark-haired gal missing. The door to his hotel room was still closed so she hadn't left through the door. He cautiously stepped against the wall to peer around the wardrobe but didn't see the woman that was causing him so much trouble there. He walked over to the small closet and set the drink of water down on the bedside table next to him to open the doors and reveal…nothing. There was only one spot she could be hiding and he knew it.

He placed himself on his hands and knees and glanced at the figure huddled under the bed. He tilted his head at her and grinned goofily.

"You gonna come out from under there lil' darlin'? Or am I gonna have to go and getcha?" He questioned quizzically. The huddled figure snapped its head up in the direction of his voice and backed out from under the bed quickly. She placed herself on the other side of the bed so that it put space between her and the man across from her.

Sanguine held his hand out to her, "Come 'ere darlin', I ain't gonna hurt ya, even though I have in the past."

"Where am I? Who are you?"

Billy Ray's eyes widened, how does she not remember him!? She must be disoriented from being knocked out and her memory must be a little hazy.

"Valkyrie, it's me. The Hit man Deluxe, Billy Ray." Sanguine stated.

Valkyrie's mind was ticking over the information she'd just heard and the name sounded familiar as did his accent but for the life of her she couldn't remember him. She wanted to though, badly, he was really good looking. The sun-kissed skin, the sandy hair, the devilish smile, the strong jaw line, the way he said her name like it was just for her, it all made her want to reach out and touch him in ways that can't be mentioned.

"How do you know my name?"

Sanguine's jaw dropped, "Valkyrie are you serious!? We've known each other for a long time and most times we weren't exactly on the greatest of terms. We just didn't get along alright? Look, do you remember two guys named Jaxen and Leon?"

Surprise registered in Valkyrie and she wanted to know how he knew of the two men.

"Yes they grabbed me and wanted to kill me because my blood smelt good for some reason. Why? Do you know them? Are you in allegiance with them!?" As Valkyrie's voice got higher, her world tipped and she swung dangerously towards the bed.

Billy Ray held his hands up in surrender. "I saved you from them. They took ya down some alley way and I followed them and took them down into the depths of the earth. Because of my heroic actions, I believe ya owe me a kiss lil' darlin'." He grinned at her, his charm flowing towards her.

There was no denying that Valkyrie didn't want to give him a kiss or much more for that matter but she just blamed those urges on the alcohol.

"How do I know you're telling the truth Billy Ray?"

"Ya don't," She snorted at his remark, "but I'm here and they're not."

Valkyrie studied him for a moment, it was a fair call so she decided she might as well trust the guy for a moment or two. She nodded at him, accepting his statement.

"Can I please have a glass of water? My head's fuzzy and my throat is dry as hell." Upon hearing her request, Sanguine collected the glass of water he got for her earlier and walked across the mattress to give it to her. He could've simply walked around the bed but he was never really one for taking the long way round. She stared at him with a manicured eyebrow raised. He just shrugged at her. He offered the glass to her and she took it with careful hands, always keeping her gaze on him.

'_Too cold for you to keep her__'_

He wanted to shudder under her penetrating gaze but didn't. Not even a thank you was heard from her mouth as she raised the glass slowly to her cherry blossom lips. With her never breaking eye contact with him, Sanguine wanted to smack the glass away and claim her lips himself. He heard the glass make a soft 'clink' against her teeth and he watched the clear liquid hit her heart-shaped lips pleasantly. Did she know that he was teasing him? That she was causing urges to arise in him that he wanted to act upon but couldn't? She must've known because no one could act that sexy without meaning to, or could they? Either way, Billy Ray was finding it very hard to control himself. Sexual tension had filled the air with an insufferable cloak of oxygen and Sanguine felt himself get light-headed. With the water completely finished, she lowered the glass from her tantalising and kissable mouth. A small puff of air was released at the small effort of downing the water in minimal time.

'_Too hot for you to leave her__'_

Everything that happened after that was a blur. Sanguine grabbed the glass and threw it at the wall, satisfied when he heard a loud smash. Valkyrie pulled Billy Ray towards her, smashing her mouth against his. Sanguine was right, her lips felt better than they looked. Her soft, gorgeous mouth pushed and slid itself over his and he grabbed her wide hips and pressed them against his. A soft moan rumbled against his Texan lips which made Sanguine grin madly and push Valkyrie onto the bed. His strong body leaned over her as he peppered sweet kisses up and down her neck. He planted few on her jawline and made a trail back up to her lips. She was simply intoxicating to say the least. He felt her hands wrap around his neck and he responded by sliding his hands up her defined legs. Taking initiative, Valkyrie Cain brought her knees up to his waist only to enrapture themselves around it. She pushed at his tan-coloured jacket to give him the hint that she wanted him to desperately be rid of it. He complied and shrugged it off, temporarily breaking their kissing embrace. He threw his jacket at the chair in the corner so he could quickly resume kissing the woman that was currently underneath him. He ran his Texan tongue against her Irish one and revelled in the taste and feeling.

'_Who__'__s that chick? Who__'__s that chick?__'_

"Ya know, something – Valkyrie, -" His sentence was getting cut short by a crazed Valkyrie Cain, hell-bent on kissing him again and again, "When I- saw you at the club, I didn't, even know who it – Oh God – was. When I first, saw ya, I thought to myself, Who's that chick? You were dancin', very, _very_ seductively. Did ya know that?" Valkyrie nodded against his lips as she tried turning his buttoned-up shirt into an un-buttoned shirt.

"God, you're so-uh-beautiful lil' darlin' –"

"I appreciate that San-Sanguine and thank, you, but please stop talking. I want to focus on something, else, right now." Billy Ray got the gist of her message and promptly shut up so he could give her his undivided attention. Once Valkyrie had popped open the last button on his dress shirt, she pushed it off his shoulders but gave herself some time to marvel at his shape while he did the rest for her. She sighed appreciatively and ran her teasing fingers over the many bumps and dips in his defined torso. She let her fingers linger on his deep 'V' line and watched as her hands took control of themselves and hooked themselves into the belt loopholes on his pants. Sanguine's breathing got shallow and the expression on his face was filled with lust. He discarded his shirt and sunglasses and pulled the doona over himself and Valkyrie as he let the night take them away on a trip full of passion, lust and desire.

Valkyrie Cain pushed herself away from the revealing mirror and jolted in shock when her back landed on the door behind her. Sanguine wasn't even the one who advanced on her last night, she advanced onto HIM. Valkyrie mentally punched herself for getting so drunk. She had to admit though, Valkyrie wasn't exactly complaining about the events that happened last night, Billy Ray wasn't exactly horrible in bed.

'He was amazing you fool and you know it.' Her mind spoke to her. Valkyrie's face went slack with horror and she couldn't believe that she had just mentally admitted that Billy Ray Sanguine, The Hit man Deluxe was good in bed. At the realisation, a tormenting wave of confidence washed over her and she regained proper composure and posture. She opened the wooden door to find sitting on his side of the bed, topless. Well at least now she knew that he was wearing pants, or had he just put them on? Valkyrie shook her head of pointless thoughts and focused on his muscled back that was facing her.

Billy Ray felt her mocha eyes on his exposed skin and he turned his head to look at her.

"Something wrong lil' darlin'?" He asked her with his trade-mark smirk.

She put her lean figure on the bathroom doorway and swept her eyes over him.

"I was just wondering, will there be a round two?" Hunger filled her eyes and Billy Ray looked at her, slightly in shock.

"I didn't realise that we had finished round one." He countered with her, he could play her game. He grinned when it was her time to look shocked and his time to sit and wait for her to come to him.

~END~


	5. Haunted - Valpine

~Valkyrie x Serpine~

**Disclaimer: I don****'****t own anything****…****now on with the songfic!**

**A/N****: I want to thank the anonymous review I got asking for a specific pairing! A burst of inspiration hit me and I threw caution to the wind and got typing for you! So without further ado, here is a Serpine x Valkyrie**** songfic! P.s ****–**** Thank you so much to the people who have reviewed some of the stories in this Collection of Songifcs! I love you all :****'****)**

**Normal POV.**

_Haunted __–__ Evanescence_

'_Long lost words whisper slowly to me__'_

"I want you Valkyrie," The whispered words shocked Valkyrie Cain out of her sleep. Placing herself in a seated position, she looked around her room, panicked. The words she heard…impossible, he swore not to contact her again. He knew the devastating consequences if he did and she obeyed. Her breathing was laboured from the uninvited words that had awoken her and she writhed uncomfortably under her plush doona. Her skin crawled and her skin felt like it was suffocating. She ripped the material that forbid the cool air to kiss her skin and collapsed back down onto her mattress when it did. The dark-haired mage sighed audibly when she pressed her hands to her head to try and stop the sudden throbbing that had emerged.

"This can't be happening again," Her words unfamiliar to even herself, "he promised. Although, what can one expect from an evil mage that once set out to bring the Faceless Ones down to Earth." Beautiful eyes the colour of mocha searched around the room once more until they seemed satisfied that nothing was lurking in the forbidden dark corners in the room. Her pumping heart had returned to its usual pace and the metallic butterflies that rested in her stomach before had flitted away, only leaving a sense of apprehension. Valkyrie shut her eyelids, praying that sleep would come quickly and stay for an efficient amount of time. Wind whipped against the window, causing her to jump slightly but she remained vigilant in trying to get to sleep. Her mouth had parted, inhaling amounts of rich oxygen and she felt her manicured eyebrows slowly un-knit themselves. Her body heat was still higher than usual though so she thought it best to not bother to grab her comforter and throw it over herself again.

A short time had passed until Valkyrie realised that she was dreaming, or was she in a dream? She thought she was reliving the adventure she had with Skulduggery when she was only twelve years old in the caves that ran underneath Gordon's estate but the more she watched, the more the dream changed and twisted into something completely different. She was now watching the event when Skulduggery and Serpine were battling it out and she had tried to get to the Sceptre without Serpine noticing. She assessed the events that were happening and she watched intently at the fight that Skulduggery was putting up against Serpine. It seemed as though he had the greater, stronger upper hand until he was pulled back by the grasping hands that emerged from the wall behind him. Serpine flicked his gaze back to Valkyrie. What unnerved Valkyrie was the fact that in her dream she was how she appeared now, all grown up and mature at 23 years of age. She was clad in her pyjamas though, a plain purple singlet with matching violet and white shorts.

Midnight hair fell upon her face and her porcelain arms as her line of vision zeroed in on Serpine as she kept reaching for the Sceptre of the Ancients. An animalistic growl tore itself from Serpine's throat as he flicked a violet tendril of darkness towards the reaching woman. The tendril snaked around her waist, lifting her as it sprang towards its controller at an alarming pace. Unconsciously, Valkyrie writhed and wriggled in her sleep, this wasn't how the event happened. Poor Valkyrie had no choice but to watch on and witness the disturbing events that were beginning to unravel.

'_Still can__'__t find what keeps me here__'_

Serpine wrapped his muscled arms around her petite waist, pushing her body against his. Serpine grinned a fabulous grin down at Valkyrie as her eyes went wide and she pulled and struggled against his hold.

"Serpine, what are you –"

Serpine held up a slender finger to her pink-lipped mouth to silence her.

"My dear, don't waste your time questioning my actions." After hearing Serpine's words, Valkyrie promptly shut up and let herself flow with Serpine's waves of temptation. After all, it was only a dream, wasn't it? What harm could playing along with a dream do?

With his left arm circled around Valkyrie's waist, Serpine let his gloved right hand travel slowly up her arm to rest underneath her jaw. Valkyrie let her long fingers position themselves on Serpine's broad shoulders. Serpine's contact with her jaw caused a heated blush to reveal itself on her pale face and she arched her back a little trying to create some distance between herself and the dark villain. Her movement though caused the opposite to what she wanted. With her torso arching back it caused her lower back to be pushed forward which in turn eliminated all space between her waist and Serpine's. A devious smile swiped itself across the villain's face when he felt Valkyrie's body push up against his. He then gave a soft chuckle which vibrated throughout his body when he noticed the colour flare up even more on Valkyrie Cain's face.

'_When all this time I__'__ve been so hollow inside__'_

Valkyrie could feel the pulsation of Serpine's chuckle echo through her body and she shuddered at the pleasant feeling. The young elemental didn't have much time to dwell on the sensation though because her attention was soon brought to the feeling of a pair of lips being pressed to her neck. A startled gasp flew out of her mouth before she could swallow it down and she clutched at Serpine's shoulders when she felt his white teeth nip her tender skin. Valkyrie stretched her neck further to give the alluring man more ground to cover. The same gloved hand that rested underneath her jaw moved to draw sensual patterns down her back which elicited a content sigh from Valkyrie. Her senses were far too much alive for a dream. This all felt too real for Valkyrie, there was no way that this was merely a dream, but it had to be didn't it?

Valkyrie's head swam in confusion the more she thought about how un-realistic this dream was. It didn't help either that she was getting caressed or touched fondly by the handsome man that was giving her his undivided attention. The more she tried to think about the strangeness of the dream and how to wake up from it, the more her thoughts were somehow consumed by the thought of Serpine and herself taking things further. Valkyrie did admit that when she first met the man she developed at silly little crush. Valkyrie wasn't bothered very much by the attraction she felt towards the villain because all girls had that one "bad boy" that they were compelled by. It just happened to be that Serpine was that "bad boy". Of course when she was younger she felt guilty for the small fantasies she indulged in about Serpine because she was Skulduggery's partner in crime and best friend and she felt that it was wrong to be having those treacherous thoughts. So over the years, Valkyrie mentally pushed out all the thoughts that even mentioned the name Serpine.

But it was only until recently that Valkyrie finally admitted that she had developed a small infatuation with the warrior. Even though the dream that was playing out was something she had thought about over and over she find herself fighting the temptation to give into Serpine's enchanted touch. She felt that if she gave into this dream, many more like it would come along and Valkyrie just couldn't slink back into her pre-teen obsession again. The effects it would have on her and Skulduggery's relationship would be catastrophic.

Valkyrie Cain was dragged back into the situation at hand when Serpine's kisses travelled dangerously low to her cleavage.

"Serpine, we should stop this, right now." Her voice was tainted with authority, sending the message clearly to the seductive villain. He only smiled against her soft skin and nuzzled into the crook of her neck.

"I'm serious Serpine. Dream or not, this is wrong. Now if you could please let go of me." Despite her protests, Serpine's advances continued. His large hand found the back of her knee and he pulled it up to meet flush with his hip.

"I'm not sure if you realise this Valkyrie, but your subconscious is the one controlling this dream. I'm just following your directions. You can protest all you want my dear but we both know that you don't want me to stop. You want this to escalate into something more, you always have. This is your dream, not mine." Serpine's words hit her like a ton of bricks and she came to the shattering conclusion that he was right and he knew it. After all this time, Valkyrie was stuck in her own bloody subconscious' desires.

"Oh bloody hell," Valkyrie said angrily, "Well there's no point in beating around the bush then and denying my desire for you, is there?" Valkyrie threw caution to the wind and pulled Serpine's tight black t-shirt towards her, bringing him with it and smashed her lips to his. Serpine's hands fell to her waist and pull her down to the ground with him, never breaking their lip-lock. As soon as Valkyrie's back hit the cold floor-boards she gasped, momentarily losing the contact with Serpine she so desperately yearned for. Serpine was quick to change that though and she once again felt his tender lips embrace hers. Valkyrie hooked her legs around his waist and a moan rumbled deep and sombre from the depths of her throat which spurred Serpine to take the kiss to a new level. Tongues wrapped around each other and hands stroked bodies they would never have dreamed of stroking. Serpine rolled over onto the floor to swap positions with Valkyrie so that she was now on top of him. A little squeal of surprise was heard coming from her when Serpine hid his fingers underneath the fabric of her shirt.

Serpine laughed into Valkyrie's mouth and she indulged in a small chuckle as well at her girlish reaction. Wasting time though was something Valkyrie doing so she herself slipped her hands under Serpine's shirt and pulled it up half way until Serpine took control and shed the t-shirt and threw it to the side. Valkyrie didn't have time to comprehend what she was even looking at. The first thought that came to her mind though was that he had the body of a _God. _She could always tell that he was built but he actually looked like he was carved out of marble! Good lord his body was _fine_. She felt herself tracing the very deep V-line that disappeared underneath Serpine's black jeans that hung low on his hard hip bones. Serpine resumed his position of lying on the floor-boards but with his thoughts thinking of only Valkyrie, he had forgotten the floor was so freakishly cold! He hissed a little in shock and the cold had seeped through his skin which caused his muscles to twitch and harden against the sudden change of temperature. Not that Valkyrie was complaining, it just made his amazing body stand out even more. Everything was so defined and sharp, she felt that just looking at his chiselled body she would get cut. Valkyrie leaned down and pressed her lips to his warm body and she felt his arms wrap around her again. She left a wonderful trail of kisses in her journey back up to his mouth. Before taking the last final kiss, she stared deeply into the emerald eyes that stared back into her mocha ones. A final burst of passion exploded between the two and they heat began to take them away.

'_I know you__'__re still there__'_

Their kisses turned urgent, there didn't seem to be enough time in the world and so they hurried. Neither of them even stopping to breathe. At some point in time, her shorts had been discarded to the side where Serpine's shirt also rested, leaving her in her lilac singlet and lacy black underwear. The pressure was building in the back of Valkyrie's head and she knew that sometime soon she would have to go up for air. She didn't even care though because Serpine's touch set her skin on fire. She didn't want to break the contact, the desire was building up greatly and she knew as soon as she let go it would fizzle out. So she persevered, the need of oxygen getting greater and greater until she felt she might pass out. She didn't care though, she wanted Serpine, needed him even. Black spots had started dotting themselves in her vision and just as she was about to fall off the cliff of the conscious, she came back around to reality. She sucked in deep breathes and the dizziness that cloaked itself around her mind before was beginning to lift. The pounding in her head had simmered to a dull throb before disappearing completely.

'_Watching me, wanting me__'_

As soon as Valkyrie's senses came back to her she took in her surroundings. She looked down to see a pair of black-jeaned legs entangled with hers and her line of vision travelled up to the well-built arms that encircled hers. Her eyes drifted back down again for a second or two to stare at the toned body that was pressed against hers.

Alarm had begun to ring through Valkyrie's entire body and she chided mentally to herself, 'don't look up, whatever you do, do not look up to see the person's face.' Even though she had given herself a simple order, she disobeyed and let her eyes fall upon the perfectly shaped head that hung above hers. As soon as she did she knew it was a mistake.

'_I can feel you pull me down__'_

Serpine grinned down at her and he seemed a little out of breath. His usually gelled back black hair hung loose in front of his face and tickled the woman's lips that were directly under his. Serpine gathered himself though and began to untangle his body from Valkyrie's. He got off the bed and looked around her room, searching for something. He could feel Cain's stare on him and he glanced back at her every now and then to see that same expression on her face. She was truly and utterly gobsmacked that he was there. He smirked in pure delight at the sight of her swollen lips hanging so far apart from each other. Her beautiful eyes seemed to be glazed over and nothing but shock seemed to have been registered in her body. He finally found what he was looking for and picked it up. He turned his discarded shirt inside-out and slipped it back over his exposed torso comfortably. Along his search for his black shirt he found Valkyrie's shorts so he picked them up and folded them, placing them on the end of her queen-sized bed.

"Well my dear, this had been most fun, believe me," Serpine started off, snapping Valkyrie out of her state of disbelief, "but it seems that the time for me to depart is here. Goodnight love." He waltzed over and placed a tender kiss on top of Val's forehead. Before he could pull his head back though, Valkyrie reached up and claimed his lips once again. Serpine stopped himself though from taking things too far again. He pulled back and Valkyrie reached for him and he just clasped her hands in his capable ones. With a tight squeeze, he folded her arms back to her and he turned and opened the window.

Before exiting though, he left Valkyrie with some parting words, "Oh and by the way dear, don't bother looking for me, for we'll be together again. _I__'__ll_ dream of _you._" Valkyrie opened her mouth to protest him leaving but the time she opened her mouth he was gone.

Valkyrie Cain flopped back down onto her comfortable bed and pressed a clammy hand to her forehead. She was being haunted by an old enemy. She sighed heavily in hopelessness. How could it be that she had gone from fearing Serpine to almost giving in and loving him?

'_Fearing you, loving you__'_

~END~


	6. Happy To Dance With You - Valduggery

~Valkyrie x Skulduggery~

**A/N: Yo, yo, yo! I****'****m back again and I****'****m feeling good! I thought as well that my last few stories have been pretty intense so I****'****ve decided to tone it down a bit for this chapter, it****'****s just supposed to be something cute and sweet. Thank you to all who have reviewed this story/stories it is very much appreciated and it makes me so happy :****'****) Also, if you have time, drop me a review or PM me saying which pairing you would want to see more or less of and abracadabra! Your wish is my command! Anyways, here****'****s a songfic based on one of my favourite songs from one of my favourite bands!**

**Disclaimer: I don****'****t own anything except for Skulduggery Pleasant ****–**** wait, no, that****'****s not right ****…****I don****'****t own anything except for Valkyrie Cain****–**** hold on, I feel like that****'****s closer but not quite right****…****there****'****s something I****'****m supposed to type here****…****OH! That****'****s right! Yeah I don****'****t own anything -.- **

**Normal POV.**

_I__'__m happy just to dance with you __–__ The Beatles_

Skulduggery Pleasant pulled up in front of Gordon's estate. Although Valkyrie was now legally in possession of the huge house, everyone still referred to the mansion as Gordon's, it just felt right. As Skulduggery strolled up the small concrete path that lead to the front door, he tilted his hat at that adorable angle that Val loved. He checked himself for any lint or slight fluff that might have been positioned on his impeccable navy suit. Of course there was nothing on his suit but Skulduggery felt that he should double-check just in case. Yes he made an effort for Valkyrie, appearance wise, because who was he kidding? When you're a skeleton, you only have a select few things to actually work on. Just because he made a conscious effort in trying to be as physically appealing as a skeleton might be, did not mean that he had feelings for the beautiful girl. He didn't care what she thought of him.

"Romantic feelings for Miss Cain are absolutely out of the question," Skulduggery whispered quietly to himself before his mind continued with, 'but is that because you wish it was the answer?' Skulduggery Pleasant glowered at the thought that rang through his head because he knew that it was right. He hated it when he proved himself wrong.

'Skulduggery Pleasant, stop dilly-dallying _outside_ and get yourself _inside_.' Upon hearing that annoying voice in his head again, he straightened up and reached a gloved hand towards the handle. It was then that he heard the music that was blasting throughout the house. He could feel the vibrations of the heavy-impacting sound waves through the metal door handle. He listened intently to the strum of guitars and pounding of the drums. Skulduggery tried to make out the lyrics of the song but they were seemingly muffled out. Oh well, he would find out soon enough what Valkyrie Cain was listening to.

A skeletal hand push open the front door, knowing that even if it knocked, the woman inside couldn't possibly hear it. Detective Pleasant made his way in the house, closing the oak door behind him. The music seemed about three times louder in the house than it did outside and the cunning detective wondered how Valkyrie didn't have hearing aids yet if this was how loud she had her music pumping. Skulduggery made his way down the hall to the open area of the lounge room, which he figured was where the music was coming from, he knew the song instantly. His favourite band of all time was pouring their wonderful music through the huge surround sound speakers that inhabited Gordon's home. Although the song wasn't one of his favourites, he felt himself humming along the words of 'Can't buy me love' by The Beatles anyway. He let his skeleton legs carrying his skeletal body over to the music system where he studied it intently to try and find the volume button to turn it down.

He didn't hear or feel Valkyrie Cain sneak up behind him so when he felt slender fingers tap his shoulder he jumped in surprise. Valkyrie laughed at him and he tilted his head at that angle that said, 'It's not funny so stop laughing' this of course just made Valkyrie laugh even harder. When the final chords of 'Can't buy me love' sang through the speakers, Valkyrie Cain grabbed Skulduggery Pleasant's hands in hers and forced him to dance with her as the next song on the CD started.

"Valkyrie, what on earth are you doi –"

"I love this song!" Valkyrie squealed in delight and her mouth tipped up at the sides of her mouth. It was the most enchanting grin Skulduggery had ever seen and he just didn't have the heart (quite literally) to take the smile away from her if he stopped dancing. Skulduggery had to admit, he was quite fond of the song that came on as well so he continued to dance with her. However, Skulduggery had one condition to dancing, if he was going to do it with someone, it had to be done right.

"Valkyrie Cain, have I taught you nothing over the many years that I have been your mentor?" Mr Pleasant said to Miss Cain.

Valkyrie looked up, clearly confused at what he was saying before replying with a mumbled, "Huh?" Skulduggery sighed in the tone that Valkyrie knew that if he had eyes, he would have been rolling them at her.

"Your dancing structure is all wrong. Come on, I'll show you the way charming, handsome professionals do it." It was Valkyrie's turn to roll her auburn eyes at the man in front of her. She grinned up at Skulduggery as he clasped Valkyrie's left hand in his right one and wound his left arm around her waist. Valkyrie's skin tingled and her skin emerged in goose-bumps at his touch and she could feel the weight of his gaze that was bearing down on her after she placed her other hand on his broad left shoulder.

"That's much better." Skulduggery chided supportively at her and before Val could mutter a thank-you, her body began moving accordingly to Skulduggery's nimble one.

'_Before this dance is through_

_I think I__'__ll love you too_

_I__'__m so happy when you dance with me__'_

Valkyrie laughed heartedly when Skulduggery began singing along with the endearing lyrics and she took it upon herself to sing the second verse for him.

'_I don__'__t want to kiss or hold your hand_

_If it__'__s funny try and understand_

_There is really nothing else I__'__d rather do_

_Cos I__'__m happy just to dance with you__'_

Skulduggery dipped and spun Valkyrie around the lounge room accordingly and for the few seconds she wasn't in his arms he felt a pull at his imaginary heart strings. How was it that even though she had flesh and blood pumping throughout her body and he was just a sack of magic bones, that they fit so right together? Skulduggery had never felt so complete. He wanted to reach out and run his leather-covered fingers through her silky dark hair. He wanted to compliment her everyday saying that she was beautiful and he would never love another as much as he loved her. He wanted to kiss her passionately under the stars and he wanted to be able to hold her tenderly in his loving arms after they had made love. He wanted to dance with her forever, as they were dancing now, at their wedding. What ridiculous thoughts he was having! Himself and Valkyrie weren't even dating or romantically involved in anyway and already he was thinking about their wedding! Even more importantly, Skulduggery was a skeleton; he wouldn't be able to half of the things normal couples would be able to do. Skulduggery wanted to hang his head in shame, curse him and him being a skeleton.

Valkyrie sensed Skulduggery's mind was on something else rather than the dance at so she brought herself closer to his body. Hoping to at least distract him from his other thoughts, whatever they may be.

'_I don__'__t need to hug and hold you tight_

_I just want to dance with you all night_

_In this world there__'__s nothing I__'__d rather do_

_Cos I__'__m happy just to dance with you__'_

Valkyrie sang along happily while giving Skulduggery's hand a comforting squeeze. She just wanted him to cut loose for a bit, have a bit of fun. She didn't want his mood to drop by him entertaining whatever depressing thoughts that were going through his mind. His head snapped back up to her and when she greeted him with a dazzling smile, he tilted his head in her direction letting her know that she was smiling to.

They swung around the room effortlessly, mostly Skulduggery taking the lead. They were both content staying in the moment together for eternity even though neither of them had said anything of the sort to each other. With Val's chest pressed up against Skulduggery's one, she could feel the pleasant vibrations as his voice waltzed around just like they did. Cain briefly closed her eyes in enjoyment, not even caring to look where she was going because she just followed Skulduggery. She trusted him and knew he wouldn't let her fall, like the countless times he had done in the past when they were fighting side by side.

'_Just to dance with you_

_It__'__s everything I need_

_Before this dance is through_

_I think I__'__ll love you too_

_I__'__m so happy when you dance with me__'_

For a while Skulduggery Pleasant, handsome skeleton and cunning detective, did feel truly happy when dancing with the young, bright woman in front of him. He studied her look of pure bliss and he hoped desperately that he was the cause of the emotion that had emitted itself across her delicate face.

'_If somebody tries to take my place_

_Let__'__s pretend we just can__'__t see his face_

_In this world there__'__s nothing I would rather do_

_Cos I__'__m happy just to dance with you__'_

Valkyrie felt herself spinning, her black tassels of hair flinging madly behind her. She could feel the sweeps of wind that were swept underneath her flowing purple dress, creating a divine effect. She could feel the detective's strong, capable arms around her. It wasn't too long before Valkyrie got lost in her own engaging thoughts and her imaginative mind began to concoct a similar scenario to what she was experiencing that very moment. Her knee-length plain purple knit dress began to grow longer until it brushed the floor. The most pristine and clean shade of white started to cascade down her long dress along with decorative diamonds and pearls. The V-neck shape of her dress chopped and changed into a nice rounded heart shape. Her dark locks were pulled and wrapped into a gorgeous French twist complete with a subtle white lily. Her bare feet were soon covered in white satin pumps and polished pearls and clean-cut diamond earrings and necklace adorned her pale frame. Her rosy lips glistened with a clear gloss that covered them and a light sweep of bronze eye shadow highlighted her coffee-coloured eyes. Her line of vision trailed down to her hand that was placed neatly in Skulduggery's and a small smile appeared on her face. Her snowy wrist-length glove in his black shadowed one reminded her of Yin and Yang. They were incomplete when one was without the other; they served as the other half to present a complete and perfect balance. Valkyrie's mind imagined an eraser rubbing out Skulduggery's navy suit to reveal an impeccably tailored black suit. To complete Skulduggery's appearance, a black fedora donned his skinless head which was finished with a white lily that was identical to the one Valkyrie wore in her silky hair. Another lily was placed delicately in Skulduggery's suit pocket. The newlyweds were really a sight to see and the crowd that had all their treasured friends watched on in awe and wonder. The now married couple danced their first dance together happily and they swayed their bodies gently to the music.

'_Just to dance with you_

_It__'__s everything I need_

_Before this dance is through_

_I think I__'__ll love you too_

_I__'__m so happy when you dance with me__'_

Fetching eye sockets bore a wonderful gaze into the set of beautiful brunette eyes that were simply mesmerising to look at. The crowd behind them was forgotten and all that mattered was that Valkyrie Pleasant and Skulduggery Pleasant could now spend the rest of their days bound to each other by the love they shared. As the song was drawing to a close, a feeling of longing was left in both the two entities that were dancing leisurely with one another.

'_If somebody tries to take my place_

_Let__'__s pretend we just can__'__t see his face_

_In this world there__'__s nothing I would rather do_

_I__'__ve discovered I__'__m in love with you_

_Cos I__'__m happy just to dance with you__'_

As the lovely music began drifting off to a stop, Valkyrie looked up to stare tenderly at her new husband to see that he was staring intently at her as well. To conclude the wonderful dance, skeletal teeth kissed a pair of delightful and delicious lips. Valkyrie's imaginary scene snapped shut as she realised that the kiss she was sharing with Skulduggery wasn't something she'd simply imagined. Her eyes pried themselves open to see the sight that she had dreamed of for so many years, Mr Pleasant's head slanting towards hers so that there was better movement for the kiss that was happening. She had never tasted anything so wonderful in her life. He tasted of sugar and spice and everything in between. The sweet, heavenly taste of honeyed caramel was placed upon her lips due to Skulduggery's teeth tasting of it. He smelled of rich mahogany, aging leather and a wonderful spice called cinnamon. Oh how she would never tire of kissing this man.

~END~


	7. Too Lost In You - Valpine

~Valkyrie x Serpine~

**Disclaimer: Everything and anything to do with Skulduggery Pleasant belongs to the amazing Derek Landy, I just borrow his stuff from time to time :3**

**WARNING: Things get a little heated in this chapter, obviously not too far but yes, still steamy, we shall say! :)**

**A/N: THANK YOU to all the people who have reviewed so far! They make me so happy and when I****'****m happy I write so keep the reviews coming if you want more chapters to this fanfic! It also was quite obvious to me that the lovely couple of Valpine was highly popular and I have to admit I love it to so I got writing again! So here we are, another Valpine! By the way, there are other ways of making me happy instead of a review, if you truly like/love this series then don****'****t be shy to chuck us a favourite or a follow! xx**

**Valkyrie POV.**

_Too Lost In You __–__ Sugababes_

'_You look into my eyes__'_

I stared intently at the glittering emerald eyes that were in front of me. I couldn't bring myself to rip my gaze from his impeccable stare. The way he looked at me, it was like he was _hungry_ for something. I wanted to ask him why he was staring at me in such a predatory way but I didn't dare. To be truthful, I was scared of the answer.

'_I go out of my mind__'_

"So my dear, here we are again," Serpine's thin lips turned up into mischievous smirk, "Although, now you're in _my _dream." Nefarian used his gloved hand to gesture to the space around us. An appreciative gleam appeared in Nefarian's eyes as he assessed the swirling abyss around us and I had to admit, if I wasn't so worried about the events that were going to happen shortly, I might have taken some time to gawk at its beauty. Enraged swirls of glittering violet had specked themselves into the starry midnight back drop. It seemed as if this entity went on for infinite and I found myself glancing down to see what I was standing on and a wave of vertigo hit me when all I saw beneath me was the pretty abyss. I felt as though I was standing on solid ground but when I peered at the space underneath me I grew panicked. The soft tapping of footsteps approached me and I glanced up to see Serpine confidently strolling towards me in his signature black suit.

"Don't fret Valkyrie. I am walking just fine, so you'll be fine." The sound of Nefarian's deep voice carried over to me and I was so lost in the sound of his vocal sound that I didn't even know what he had said. He was looking at me like he was waiting for me to answer so I just gave a half-hearted nod. Serpine seemed unconvinced though so he walked towards me and when he was close enough he held out his arm to me. Against my better judgement, I took it. It was naive and stupid to think about how much safer I felt clinging onto him and yet I did. At least if I stumbled down into the abyss, I could bring him with me. As we began to walk towards a destination that was unknown, I listened to our footsteps falling into a soothing rhythm. The repetitive sound echoed throughout the dark entity and it suddenly dawned on me on just how alone we were out here.

"What am I doing here Nefarian?" Upon hearing his name, Serpine looked up at me.

"Don't you remember? I told you I would dream of you." Recognition splashed across my face.

"Oh, right." My head drooped slightly, "So I'm in your dream now right? Just like you were in mine?" The general nodded his approval. Silence followed after that for a while, save for the sound of my bare feet and Serpine's shoes hitting the floor. The silence itched at my skin and it made my mind crawl around for a suitable question.

"Well? Aren't you going to say anything?"

"What do you want me to say?"

I looked at him before replying with, "Oh I don't know, how about why I keep having certain dreams about you, about us. Do you want to shed some light on that subject?" Serpine's laugh sang true and the sound was like music to my ears.

"It's not my fault you think of me. I can't control your emotions, no one can, not even you. I think that must be the part you struggle with the most my dear, you mustn't have admitted your desire for me to yourself yet."

My eyes went wide and I scoffed at his reply. "Desire? Oh Serpine you flatter yourself, I have no desire for you!" I lied superbly, impressed at my own believability. Nefarian, of course, saw right through my act.

'_I can__'__t see anything__'_

"Really? Well you could've fooled me, love. The dream you concocted of yourself and I not too long ago seems to have convinced me otherwise,"

"Nefarian, please – " I pleaded, not liking where he was taking this conversation. I blushed profusely at the memory he had sparked up in my brain.

"Tell me something Valkyrie," He grabbed me then, spinning me around and driving my back into an invisible wall behind me. How Serpine navigated himself through this place I'd never know. With his strong hands holding my forearms against the wall and his legs pinning mine down, I had no choice but to listen to his enticing voice. He spoke dangerously low next my ear and our close proximity made me want to squirm.

"Tell me that you've _never _thought about stripping this suit from my body. That you've never fantasized about the intimate kisses I'd plant on your sweet, succulent skin. That you've never imagined my hands roaming every inch of your body so many times that I knew your skin and shape better than the back of my scarred right-hand. You're telling me that you've never created different scenarios where I'd take you away on a night filled with over-whelming lust, desperate desire and burning passion?" My eyes were wide with horror, how did he know all this stuff? Those were supposed to be _private_ thoughts, I hadn't spoken of them to anyone. My mouth was painfully dry and I knew better than to lie to him, he would only get more infuriated with me. My porcelain skin had been set alight with numerous amounts of goose-bumps and I wanted nothing more than to slink away and be erased from this tormenting dream.

"I – I may – I may have th – thought about those things once or – uh – twice," I winced at the pressure the powerful general was applying to my skin and he seemed to notice my discomfort because he relaxed his grip on me a little.

"Why do you care anyway?" I spat at him.

Anger flashed briefly through his dazzling eyes and I thought that maybe I had pushed things too far and he was going to crack. Although, Nefarian Serpine had this way of surprising me.

'_Cos this love__'__s got me blind__'_

"Because I needed to know I wasn't the only one who imagined those things." His voice rumbled quietly. My body turned to jelly at the sudden confession and I felt my face getting hot at the thought of myself and Serpine creating those forbidden thoughts into a twisted reality. I couldn't believe that the great Nefarian Serpine had intimate thoughts about me, a 23 year old woman. Some childish part in my mind wanted me to jump for joy but the mature part decided it was best to act in an established way.

"You lust after me Nefarian?" Eyebrow raised, lips pursed, I trained to regain some sort of composure. He let my feet fall back onto invisible ground and I watched his back turn and face me. My eyes followed his actions intently and I saw his head drop into his hands.

"My dear, isn't it obvious?"

'_I can__'__t help myself__'_

"I've started thinking that maybe I don't just crave you physically," he paused to turn his head slightly in my direction to gaze at me from the corner of his eye, "I've pondered for some time why I am so relieved at the fact that Skulduggery stopped me from killing you all those years ago. And I'm frustrated because I don't know the answer." My face fell in sympathy for Serpine, wait, _what?_ Sympathy? For Serpine? Something is definitely wrong with me. I didn't know why the poor tormented face of Nefarian Serpine pulled at my heart strings and my first coherent thought was to comfort him but I decided it was best not to.

"Maybe you're glad you didn't kill me because then you wouldn't be able to see my beautiful face anymore?" I offered light-heartedly with a flick of my black hair. My joke, however, didn't seem to lighten the mood.

"You might not be very far off the truth," Nefarian snuck another glance my way and the wicked gleam in his enticing eyes made me tremble. On some level, did Serpine just call me beautiful? The thought made me dizzy and I thought it best to clear my head of thoughts of Nefarian Serpine complementing me. The scheming villain finally turned his body back towards me and I let my eyes sweep over his lustrous body in that pristine suit. I inwardly nodded in satisfaction at the sight and I tried to mentally burn the image in my head permanently.

"So are you saying that your desire for me runs deeper in your veins than you originally thought?"

"On some revelation, I guess I am."

'_I can__'__t break the spell__'_

My head swam with confusion. Out of all the things he could've said he had to say that. I wasn't certain if he was saying what I thought he was saying. I was only half sure of what he was implying and I didn't like the fact that he had left it up to me to ask that heart-stopping question. Of course Serpine would do this to me. Of course he would leave the responsibility of asking one of the most game-changing questions to a 23 year old. If I was being honest though, I would have done the same thing. I would have shoved the task on to somebody else. I knew that if I didn't get the answer that some part of me was desperately hoping for, I would crumble and be at Nefarian's mercy for all eternity to try and finally earn the prized response I had been searching from him for so long.

'_I can__'__t even try__'_

I did not want to form the words that Nefarian wanted me to and yet I knew that I had to. Here goes nothing.

'_I__'__m in over my head__'_

"Are you saying you're in love with me Nefarian?"

'_You got under my skin__'_

An unreadable look passed through his irises before answering with, "Would it bother you if I was?"

'_I got no strength at all__'_

All weight left my body and I felt like I was just a shell of a human, devoid of all comprehensive thoughts and emotions. I was frozen in shock and I didn't even register the sudden frostiness of the swirling entity bite and nip at my skin and clothes. The only thing that reassured me that I was indeed alive was the slight rub of my black singlet against my body when I breathed. My red plaid pants didn't stir because I didn't move a muscle. My body was eerily still and although I was staring at nothing in particular, I could see in my line of vision that Serpine was staring at me intently.

'_In the state that I__'__m in__'_

Human reactions suddenly burst alive from my pumping heart and a rush of adrenaline coursed harshly through my veins when I finally understood the weight of Serpine's words. He loves me. He admitted it, although I hadn't heard the exact words, 'I'm in love with you Valkyrie Cain', I still knew that's what he meant. He could've easily denied any sort of loving emotion toward me but instead he decided to ask me if it was alright with me if he did harbour such feelings. I didn't know how to react. Should I do what my body told me to do and pounce on him all the while showering his skin with loving kisses or should I do the sensible thing my mind told me to do and approach with a sensible answer?

'_And my knees are weak__'_

I took one painstakingly slow, wobbling, unsure step towards Serpine before stopping completely. If I had tried to walk any further, my knees would have surely given way and I would have been a crumbling sight at his feet.

"It wouldn't bother me," I caught the surprised that flashed across his face, "as long as it doesn't bother you if I felt the same way –"

'_And my mouth can__'__t speak__'_

My mouth quickly ran dry at the words I had spoken and the painful scratching at the back of my throat felt like shredded sand paper and I knew I could speak no more for the aching was too much. I thought for sure that I had fallen off the deep end since I had just admitted that I was in love with Nefarian Serpine.

'_Fell too far this time__'_

Nefarian stalked towards me then, closing the small gap with ease. I didn't expect the kiss at all, but when it came, I accepted with open arms. I _needed_ his touch; I _needed_ the inexplicable feeling of his lips against mine. Surprisingly, his kiss wasn't rushed and heated like our last passion-filled lip-lock, it was leisurely slow and tender as was his caress around my waist. I didn't know Serpine could kiss like this and I was over-joyed that he could because it made a pleasurable burn of ember in the pit of my stomach.

'_Baby, I__'__m too lost in you__'_

I revelled at the sensation and I got completely lost in the feeling of Nefarian's leather-bound hand entangled in my hair while his naked hand slipped underneath the material that rested on my lower back. The man was simply marvellous. I was happily carried away in his honeyed rapture and an unknown feeling emerged deep within me when I heard a sombre moan come from Serpine's throat when I lightly tugged at his lower lips between my teeth.

'_Caught in you__'_

Serpine's tongue brushed against mine when we both decided to escalate the kiss to the next level. The sweep of his warm tongue against my own had my breath getting caught in my throat but for once, I didn't mind. Nefarian's advances were too good to resist and I knew that even if I wanted to stop, I would never be able to. I was drawn to him in mysterious ways that sometimes left me dumb-founded but at the same time, I didn't mind one about finding my attraction to Serpine dark and mysterious. He was an uncharted map and I wanted to cast my ship on the unknown waters. I wanted to find every little nook and cranny that made Nefarian Serpine the man he was today and I wanted to feel his appetite for me every day.

'_Lost in everything about you__'_

His entire essence was lost on me and I inhaled his spicy scent.

'_So deep, I can__'__t sleep__'_

After my first dream encounter with Serpine, I knew I was never going to be able to fall asleep normally again. He filled my every dreamy thought and when my mind subconsciously replayed our first dream meeting, it left me waking up and squirming for more. The cursed man had me hook, line and sinker dammit! I didn't know whether or not if Serpine realised the power he held over me but I'd be thrilled if he didn't. Because if I admitted it to myself, I would bend over backwards and perform tricks just to see him every night like this.

'_I can__'__t think__'_

'_I just think about the things you do__'_

The general's hands were brought up to cradle my face and I leaned into his hands, although I did promptly notice the feeling of disappointment when he pulled away.

"Valkyrie Cain, what have you done to me, love?" Serpine's breathless whisper smeared itself over my slightly bruised lips and I could only sigh in contentment as an answer.

'_I__'__m too lost in you__'_

I hated the fact that a feeling of desperation rose to the surface of my mind when I realised Serpine's lips were not on my own so I pressed my head forward to reclaim the lip-lock we were sharing just moments ago. Nefarian grunted in approval while also picking up my thighs so he could wrap my legs around his waist. I obligingly did so and blushed furiously when I felt Serpine's hands grasp at my butt to keep me aloft.

'_Well you whisper to me__'_

And then we were moving, to where I didn't know. My eyes were shut tight because I wanted my other senses to become more aware and focus on the man that I was wrapped around. My delicate hands gripped at the collar of his ironed shirt and I tried to press our bodies impossibly closer. Serpine and I broke the kiss briefly just so he could continue his sweet advances on my pale neck. He tugged and nipped and licked and bit at my skin until I was sure I was going to have evidence of it tomorrow. His trail of pecks lit my skin on fire and when his tongue lashed out against the imaginary flames, it was like cooling water being poured over a light burn.

"The taste of your skin is only making my appetite for you worse Valkyrie," a slight pause in Nefarian's sentence was presented so he could kiss at my collarbone, "you're absolutely _ravishing _my dear." The whispered words made my heart smack against my ribcage. How did he manage to do that? How did he manage to sound so utterly and irresistibly sexy?

'_And I shiver inside__'_

I grinned like a mad woman against Serpine's lips and let out a squeal of shock when he threw me back, I was going to fall further and further into the abyss below me and I closed my eyes for cursing myself for trusting Nefarian. I was about to shout a very un lady-like word at him when my back met the plush feeling of a soft, warm mattress. How did that get there? Or did Serpine just conjure up the bed in his dream? Either way, I was bloody glad it was there.

'Oh, that's what he threw me back for,' I wanted to laugh at my stupid reaction to Serpine throwing me down but I didn't have time to because he had already began to climb on top of me. Not that I was exactly complaining…

'_You undo me and move me__'_

I arched my flexible back as far as it would go without snapping to give Serpine more access to the place I wanted him to give attention to. He complied willingly by showering my collarbone and shoulders with hot, lovely kisses while he let his fingertips of both hands trail intricate patterns down my arms. His touches were feather-light and I didn't know which hand felt better, his leather-bound one or his normal hand? I came to believe that both created an awe-inspiring combination that made me "hot under the collar" with pleasure. I pushed at Serpine's suit jacket, letting it slip off his shoulders hoping that he would catch onto my drift. He did, thankfully and swiftly shrugged out of it before forcefully throwing it to the side. He quickly followed suit by loosening his tie before casting that near the jacket too. I felt that if he was going to undress, I might as well so I gripped the hem of my singlet before stripping it over-head and tossing it somewhere I didn't care. The look on Nefarian's face was priceless as he stared at my midnight bra covering my breasts. The cups and straps of the bra were a midnight blue that was crafted with the smoothest silk and was over-lapped by a detailed black lace. The combination was quite enthralling and by the expression on Serpine's handsome face, he was quite enthralled.

'_In ways undefined__'_

An animalistic growl tore itself from the general's throat and I smiled at my victory. He looked to be fighting some sort of inner-turmoil though but it seemed as though his natural instinct side won out because he seemed to almost lunge toward me. His passion seemed to be re-ignited and the flames seemed to be climbing to higher, hotter heights. A shuddering sigh escaped my lights when Serpine's thin lips touch against the skin that rested just atop my bra and even though I didn't see his sly smile, I still felt it.

'_And you__'__re all I see__'_

His hands went to my hips and the pads of his fingers digging into my skin made me tremble. I finally bloody managed to get his lips back onto mine though and I was once again caught in his honeyed rapture.

'_And you__'__re all I need__'_

Nefarian Serpine pulled away soon though which left a small trace of anger inside me because I didn't want to lose that contact. In fact, I wanted more, so much more contact than what he was giving me. I looked up at him when I propped myself on my elbows while blowing a tassel of raven hair out of my face.

"Serpine, what are you doing? Get back down here!" I ordered him, wagging my eyebrows at him.

He laughed good-naturedly at me before saying kindly, "Good night Valkyrie."

My jaw hung slack as he lifted himself off of me with little effort and I was too shocked to do or say anything. Surely he's not going to leave me here? Inside his own dream? I could only watch the villain pick up my singlet, folding it while placing on the bed as well like he had done with my shorts after our first encounter. I wanted to reach out to him and pull him back down to the plush bed but his words still left me in resolute surprise. He could not just walk away after so much action happening between us. My eyes followed his actions of picking up his tossed-aside belongings before he turned around and placed a nice, quick kiss on my forehead before strolling away. I watched his form dissipate and disappear into the back ground and I let my head fall back onto the bed with annoyance. As soon as my head hi the bouncy material though, I was out like a light and nothing but darkness clouded my vision.

I awoke to the sound of my own snoring and looked around worriedly to see if anyone heard my embarrassing snores. What I found though was a shock, even to me. I was in a room I didn't know. I didn't recognise the dull grey walls and I didn't know whose bedside table was next to me but I did know the bed that I was currently laying in. Seeing my neatly folded singlet in the bottom right corner of the comfortable bed only seemed to confirm my suspicions. I sighed in longing before glancing at the piece of paper that was adorned with neat cursive writing. I grabbed it quickly, skimming over its contents.

_*My Dear Valkyrie,_

_Good morning love, I hope you slept well. I know by now that you__'__ll find a way to escape this place so you can return back to your own. Last night was interesting and I had a wonderful time. _

_Dream of me,_

I stared in shock at the written component of the short letter. This guy was unbelievable! Yet I found myself grinning like a blushing school girl. I was too lost in Serpine, that was for sure.

~END~


	8. Run To You - Ghaskyrie

~Valkyrie x Ghastly~

**A/N: So we meet again anonymous reader? I've been expecting you. Anyway, I wanted to give a big, huge, massive thank to ****NightcatMau ****for her continuous support and many reviews that had me brimming with happiness. Seriously though, I suggest you go and check out her stories because they're really brilliant! I'm also writing this to thank everyone who has reviewed/favourite/followed this story, you guys truly make me happy and as a gift to you, I'm writing this chapter and sending you amazing back tickles complete with back and neck massages! How amazing am I right!? Anyhow, here's another chapter! There's mild swearing, btw, just thought I'd let you know. There's also a bad-ass Ghastly Bespoke, ooh, the thought of a bad-ass Ghastly Bespoke makes me want to do things to him that are too dirty to mention. Just kidding! (Not really…)**

**Disclaimer: Look, I would say I own Skulduggery Pleasant but I don't so I don't say that I do.**

**Ghastly POV.**

_Run To You - Bryan Adams_

'_She says her love for me could never die'_

I sat on the plush leather couch and glanced at the woman next to me. I set my line of vision on our clasped hands and when the blonde-haired beauty noticed where my aim was staring at, she gave my hand a comforting squeeze. My scarred head snapped up to meet hers and I graced her with a small smile. She turned her head back to the television that was re-running some useless soap-opera. How Tanith could watch this stuff, I'll never know.

'Valkyrie would never watch this crap,' a naughty voice in my mind chided.

At the thought of Valkyrie, my hands went slick with sweat and I became hot under the collar. I'd be the first to admit I'd had my fair share of women and during the war I was some-what of a player. I had women hanging off of me. Back then I was brimming with pride at the fact that I "pulled" more women than all of the dead-men combined. Now though, the thought makes me feel queasy and disappointed in myself that I used women in the way I hated some had used me. And now here I am again, stating that I was in a devoted relationship with the beautiful Tanith Low but was secretly having treacherous and lust-filled midnight-meetings with her best friend and said "sister". I am what some people call, an asshole. And even though that fact rings true, I can't bring myself to end either affair. With my free left hand, I reached into my pants pocket to retrieve my phone. I clicked a button to make the screen light up and the back of my neck grew hot when I saw the time.

'_But that'd change if she ever found out about you and I'_

'Only ten more minutes.' I reminded myself.

I felt Tanith's thumb stroking the back of my hand and I cursed myself for wishing it was Valkyrie's hand.

'You fool, can't you just hold off thoughts of her for a second? You'll be seeing her in a few minutes anyway.' I didn't think I could hold on for a few more minutes to be completely honest. I sighed inwardly and pocketed my phone again.

I started feeling guilty about my impatient thoughts and I reminded myself I shouldn't bloody well be doing this in the first place so I shouldn't complain about waiting for a few moments. I unconsciously yawned and I noticed Tanith's questioning stare next to me.

"Tired Bespoke?" I gave her a withered look at her question.

"Mm, I should probably start heading home then, else I'll be too tried to drive," Yes, perfect! What a wonderful excuse for leaving.

Miss Low looked absolutely crest-fallen and sympathy for her washed through my sinful body. Her expression picked up though as a wicked and suggestive gleam shone in her crimson eyes.

"You could always stay the night Ghastly, if you're that tired,"

Oh how I wanted things to be that easy. I wanted to grant Tanith's wish and have her body beneath mine, but it wouldn't be right because I'd be thinking of Valkyrie the entire time. Speaking of Valkyrie, she was waiting for me.

"As tempting as that offer is Miss Low," I pressed a chaste kiss to the fingers that were entwined with mine, "I'm afraid I have to decline. I remembered I have to finish sewing up a jacket for a customer. I'll see you again sometime this week, okay?" I looked at her hopefully, silently wishing that she wouldn't discover I was lying. A solemn expression splashed across her face and droplets of sadness washed through her eyes.

'_Ooh but her love is cold'_

"Okay then, I'll call you tomorrow and we'll go out for dinner or something with Skul and Val yeah?" My breath hitched in my throat and my mouth ran dry at _her _name. I nodded dumbly until I found the courage to speak.

"Sure thing, bye Low." I pressed a small kiss to her forehead.

"See you soon Bespoke." She smiled at me then and for once I truly smiled back.

'_It wouldn't hurt her if she didn't know, 'cause'_

As the door clicked behind me, I sighed heavily, dreading and yet looking forward to what was about to happen. I glanced behind me to look at Tanith's apartment door before heading down the hallway and set of stairs. Once I was at the landing I got out my phone again to check the time. My eyes narrowed and I inhaled sharply at the numbers on the clock: _12:04pm._ As I made my way out of the apartment building completely, I shuddered at the frostiness of the chilled midnight air. I expected a text from Valkyrie and when I got one, a knowing expression flashed onto my face.

Val – I don't like to be kept waiting .

'_When it gets too much'_

Me – Don't I know it. Excuse my lateness Miss Cain.

Val – All is forgiven if you find a way to make it up to me.

'_I need to feel your touch'_

Me – It would be my pleasure.

I smirked at our conversation and when I felt that familiar feeling of adrenaline creep up spine I knew I could bear it no longer. I had to see the damned woman and I had to see her now. I looked around nervously for my car and when I didn't spot it, it dawned on me that I didn't drive here. I remember walking to Tanith's place. I should've realised before I said to her that if I didn't leave her place now I'd be too tried to drive home. This gave her leverage to become suspicious of my late night wonders. And anxious feeling surfaced in the pit of my stomach but I stomped the feeling out at the thought of getting to Valkyrie somehow. Seeing no other option, I began walking in the direction to her apartment building. Thankfully, Val and Tanith lived close to each other that it was in walking distance. I reminded myself of the time and I knew that it would take me at least half an hour to walk to Valkyrie's place and I decided that just wasn't fast enough. The sensation of danger and excitement slipped up my back and flicked at the blood pumping through my veins. I mentally thanked myself that I had a boxer's physique as I broke out into a run.

'_I'm gonna run to you'_

I filled my head with thoughts of myself and Valkyrie entangled in one another like the many times we had been before and I willed myself to get to her place faster. The more I thought about the sinful feeling of her skin under my lips made my body spin out of control and I pictured the waft of fragrance that would fill my nostrils as soon as I made my way into her compact apartment. I imagined it so clearly, it was like I was there in the moment already. I would hear the sigh that would escape her perfect lips when our bodies pressed together. The strongest feeling of desperation filled my very being by this point and I was now full-on sprinting. I wasn't wasting any more time. I could feel my muscles expanding and tightening as my body pushed itself faster and faster. I wasn't experiencing any pain or tiredness with my exercise, which I was grateful for. The only thing I was experiencing, and which was expected, was sweat.

'Like it really matters,' my mind muttered, 'you were going to be sweating later tonight anyways.' I blushed furiously at my own thoughts but I didn't exactly deny them either.

When Valkyrie's building finally came into sight, I puffed out a laboured breath of air that stunk of happiness. I pumped my arms and legs furiously and when the warm of the stale building hugged me I shuddered in gratefulness. The wind whipping against my fit body made my limbs feel frosty and absolutely icy. I slammed the up button on the elevator hurriedly and those few seconds that I was waiting for the doors to open were absolutely gruelling. By now, the small ember of passion I felt for Valkyrie was now an out of control bushfire. I was actually about to turn away and leap for the stairs when I heard that familiar, 'ding'. I pretty much jumped into the elevator and demanded the heavy rectangle to take me to Valkyrie's floor. After silver doors had parted and revealed the small hallway, I strolled out and jogged to number 15. My loud knocks bounced off the walls and echoed and I sent a mental apology to the people that may have been sleeping on this floor. I didn't have time to make a sincere apology though because the door had opened half-way to reveal Miss Valkyrie Cain standing there with her hand cocked on her hip. My hungry eyes drifted over her attire and a deep burning near my groin appeared and I growled appreciatively. I didn't bother to dwell or compliment Val on her lacy midnight blue underwear that was slightly hidden by one my white dress shirts. I invited myself in already reaching out and greedily taking her lips in mine before slamming the door shut with my foot.

I could tell she was shocked but she seemed to dismiss it quickly because she soon joined in my adventurous kisses feverishly. I pressed her against the wall and pinned her with my body. She didn't protest, just wrapped her muscled legs around my defined waist and my kisses began to travel lower. I pressed my rough lips against her neck and the contact left my skin burning for more. Her arms wrapped themselves around my neck but they sometimes roamed freely and made their way over my head or broad shoulders. Her lips returned to mine once again but the contact was stopped short when she pulled back to look at me suspiciously.

"Why are you – oh my – all sweaty?" I smirked at her question and I pressed my lips to her collarbone.

'_I'm gonna run to you'_

"I ran to you." I murmured against her soft pale skin. She didn't even ask me why I ran to her place, she just nodded so we could quickly resume kissing each other passionately. I left my hands slip under my shirt that she was wearing and I revelled in the texture of her skin. She put velvet and silk to shame. She gripped the ends of my shirt and literally ripped it off me. It was so sexy. An animalistic growl vibrated throughout her throat before putting her lips on my torso. I was getting lost in her kisses and when her tongue lashed out, I heard myself moan in resolute pleasure and contentment. Making someone feel this good should have been illegal. I lowered her back onto even ground before pulling her towards her bed. I fell back first before pulling her down on top of me. There were only three things on my mind when Valkyrie and I began to strip each other bare of our clothes: Lust, passion and Valkyrie. I couldn't have asked for a better combination.

She lay in my arms after, quiet. The only sounds that could be heard was our soft breathing. We both laid there absolutely content with what had just happened. Our naked bodies stuck together to seek warm even though the heat of the night was burning. My burly arms were wrapped around her body and my face was pressed in her midnight hair. I should have been feeling guilty, or better yet, regretful. But I didn't feel anything negative because I knew that it was my choice to run to her. I didn't feel remorseful for running to her either _'Cause when the feeling's right I'm gonna run all night'._

~END~


	9. All My Loving - Valduggery

~Valkyrie x Skulduggery~

**A/N: This chapter is here because myself and the wonderful NightcatMau decided to do a kind of joint songfic! We both decided to use the lovely song, 'All My Loving' by The Beatles. We've agreed to do whichever pairing seemed fit so I have no idea who she chose and she has no idea who I chose! Ooh, suspense! So I'm dedicating this chapter to NightcatMau for all her wonderful support/ideas and many laughs she has given me! After reading my 'All My Loving' chapter, please go and check out Nightcat's!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Well I do own stuff but nothing related to Skulduggery Pleasant or The Beatles.**

**Normal POV.**

_All My Loving – The Beatles_

11:49pm.

Valkyrie Cain lifted her gaze from the alarm clock to stare into the wonderful eye sockets of her darling husband that was holding her in his naked skeletal arms. He in turn tilted his head down at her, assessing her facial expression. She knew he was reading her so she gave him a very small smile, even though he knew it was false. Valkyrie couldn't lie to herself, she was _very _content with what had happened last night but she was not pleased with the fact that Skulduggery was about to disappear and re-appear somewhere in sunny Australia in a few hours. She didn't want him to go. Not after the amazing night they had. Skulduggery could sense that her thoughts were drifting to the saddening inevitable so he hugged her closer to his thin white frame. Val didn't protest, only wrapped her arms further around him while pressing a kiss to his bony rib cage. When Skulduggery pressed his teeth against her head though, Val frowned. She was going to miss this for the next six weeks. Skulduggery sighed heavily and knew what was wrong.

"I'm sorry Valkyrie, I really am. You know I tried –"

"I know Skulduggery, but it still sucks all the same. I'm not going to see you for a month and a half! I've seen you basically every day for the past ten or eleven years. It's just annoying that you chose last night to admit your 'everlasting love' for me," Valkyrie noticed Skuduggery's arms go slack around her and she quickly tried to recover the situation, "not that I'm saying it's a bad thing you admitted you loved me. I mean, I love you too, it's just – could've been a better time so I wouldn't have to be left hanging for you for so long. I – "

Skulduggery held up a bony finger to Valkyrie's lips. "Just, stop talking Val. I know what you mean." A tilt of his gleaming white head let Cain know that he was grinning at her. Val grinned in response and leaned up to claim his teeth with her lips. After breaking apart, they resumed their position before and both stared at the pale moonlight filtering through the window. Valkyrie listened to the soft pitter-patter of the trickling rain landing on the panel of glass. Her violet eyes dreamily followed the ever-changing shadow of the rain on the bed sheets and as she let the calming sense of aura around herself and Skulduggery wash over her, she felt her eyelids slowly droop shut.

"_Close your eyes and I'll kiss you"_

Valkyrie's eyelids snapped open at the sound of Skulduggery's wonderful velvet voice right next to her ear. She liked the way his Irish accent formed a slight twinge on the English words but his voice was quiet though, like he was talking about a secret that only she was in on. She loved it. She knew the song off by heart, knowing it was one of her favourites and she did as the lyrics told her too. A sinful shiver slipped up her naked lower back when the magic skeleton kissed her deeply, leaving her craving for more when he parted. His thin fingers trailed down her arm setting her skin alight with delightful goose-bumps.

"_Tomorrow I'll miss you"_

Valkyrie wanted to frown at the realistic thought but before her expression could change, Skulduggery made sure the lyrics did.

"_Remember I'll always be true"_

Cunning (and handsome) detective Skulduggery Pleasant looked down at the woman wrapped around him. He knew that she didn't want him to hop on the plane that was prepared for him later and he also knew that he didn't want to jump on that plane. He'd rather stay and be with the woman he loved like this for many, many more moonlit nights. He'd rather curl up and relax in bed like he was and continue to draw tempting patterns on her silky skin. That dream wouldn't become reality though until a month and a half later.

"_And then while I'm away"_

"_I'll write home every day"_

As Skulduggery sang, he softly wrote Valkyrie's name on her own skin and when he was finished he pressed a sweet skeletal kiss to her arm where the invisible ink on her succulent skin rested. To anyone else it would have just seemed like a romantic gesture, but to the two mages, it was a hidden promise.

"_And I'll send all my loving to you"_

The dark-haired beauty that rested in his arms smiled at the thought before returning the gesture he made to her just a moment ago. The tips of the woman's fingers seemed to dance across the bony flesh of his arm as she looped the capital letters 'S.P' along his bone. A serene expression flitted throughout her face as she looked up at the skeleton who loved her before leaning down and tentatively pressing her plump limps to the space where her fingers had just drawn on.

"_I'll pretend that I'm kissing"_

"_The lips I am missing"_

The previous line Skulduggery sang came out husky and rough as he once again took Valkyrie's lips with his teeth. It seemed as though Valkyrie knew the effect she was having on Skulduggery so she crawled up further to cradle his jaw with her hands and she sighed pleasantly when he leaned into her touch. He let his fingers travel into her messy hair and he straightened considerably when he felt Valkyrie's well-muscled legs straddled his own skeletal ones. She pulled back first and he leaned his forehead against hers, continuing to sing as her breath went back to her.

"_And hope that my dreams will come true"_

Skulduggery nuzzled his gleaming head into the crook of Valkyrie's sweet-smelling neck and he felt her shudder when the smooth vibration of his voice ran across her skin. By this time, Valkyrie had started to hum to the touching words as Skulduggery vocalised them.

"_And then while I'm away"_

"_I'll write home every day"_

"_And I'll send all my loving to you"_

The pair sounded beautiful, their voices a delicate mix of low and high. Their harmony was an intricate blend that could lull any crying baby to dream land. Their voices were still soft, neither wanting to break the calm that had enraptured them both.

"_All my loving, I will send to you"_

Soon, one another's voices seemed to cast a magical spell over both of them as they became sleepy with time. Valkyrie was tired about worrying about how much she was going to miss Skulduggery and Skulduggery could feel himself slowly slipping into his 'coma-like state' at the thought of not having Valkyrie in his arms like this for a long period of time. They both barely had enough time to sluggishly sing out the last line before collapsing into a peaceful sleep.

"_All my loving, darling I'll be true"_

The dashing pair fell asleep in each other's arms. The only dreams that were racing through one another's minds, were ones of each other sending their love to their other half.

~END~


	10. Be My Baby - Valguine

~Valkyrie x Sanguine~

**A/N: There's really not a lot to say here *sigh*. I'm tired and **_**very **_**unwell and the only thing that's keeping me going is the wonderful reviews I get from all of you wonderful people. Here's another Valguine, I fear it's very bad though, but be patient with me, I'll get back in my groove soon. ****Oh and just recently I got a review asking for a Fletchyrie chapter****…****look, I****'****m going to be honest, I don****'****t write Fletchyrie. I just don****'****t prefer them as one of my main pairings and it****'****s not that I don****'****t love Fletcher because I do. I simply adore Fletcher Renn! But I don****'****t feel I could write Fletchyrie to justice. However, if I get more requests from others asking for that pairing I will happily spin out a chapter of them for you guys! Just let me know what you want and I****'****ll get cracking! Cheers ****. And as always, R & R, I****'****ll love you if you do!**

**Spoiler alert: For those of you who are simply itching for the next Valpine chapter, yo****u'll be happy with me because that's the next chapter spinning up! Sorry to keep you waiting for so long :)**

**Disclaimer: Yo, Yeah, yo, I really don't own anything even though I badly wish that I did, and if I did own Skulduggery Pleasant I'd make sure I was in it and not some normal teenaged kid. Word.**

**Normal POV.**

_Be My Baby – The Ronettes _

'_The night we met I knew I needed you so'_

Miss Cain, or should I type , stared down at the huge solitaire that adorned her wedding finger. The diamond was absolutely huge! She wondered how on earth her fiancée managed to get a beautiful ring this size!

'Knowing him though, he probably snagged it off some useless criminal on one of his hit-man jobs,' Valkyrie mused to herself. A petite knowing smile appeared on her soft face and she knew her guess wasn't very far off the mark.

As her lilac eyes flickered back down to the shimmering jewel that adorned her left hand, she thought about how much the ring itself weighed. She couldn't settle on a number for its weight but she didn't have to guess that it was bloody heavy. She knew her pretty little head was getting carried away in its thoughts when she wondered if this is how much Thor's magical hammer weighed. She snorted at her own antics before getting up to make herself a well-deserved coffee.

'_And if I had the chance I'd never let you go'_

It's been two days since she's seen Billy-Ray and her heart ached at the thought of seeing him today. She was almost jumping up and down with excitement after she picked up the phone and heard her fiancée's voice on the other end. He promised her he would be home by 5 o' clock. Valkyrie glanced down at her black watch and her heart fluttered when she saw the time.

4:47pm.

'He could be home any minute!' She thought gladly to herself. Her mind was on other things when she finished making her coffee though. She glanced around the small apartment to make sure everything was in place. Billy-Ray's small two-seater dining table was transformed into one you might see at a lovers 5-star French restaurant. The crimson sheet of silk was thrown carefully over the table so that the bottom was even and straight. Three Victorian candles were placed in the middle of the table which set the dark room alight with a warm tangerine glow. Sprinkled rose petals were spread across the table top and a simple tub of ice held an expensive bottle of champagne. Cutlery was set in its proper order and Valkyrie checked the roast lamb that was cooking in the oven to see it was coming along nicely. It would be ready at around 7ish so that gave Sanguine and herself plenty of time to catch up and do…other things.

A proud smile was plastered onto her porcelain skin as she looked at her small masterpiece. To be completely truthful, the main reason she set up the table and romantic setting was for Sanguine. She knew he was a hopeless romantic and she thought it would show him just how glad she was to be his fiancée and that she did special things only for him. She wanted to make him proud to call her his soon-to-be bride.

'_So won't you say you love me? I'll make you so proud of me'_

Valkyrie Cain wanted Billy-Ray Sanguine to be proud enough of her to walk around in public with their hands intertwined and not care what anyone thought about their relationship. He already probably didn't pay any attention to what others thought of them being together, but the nagging feeling still remained in the back of Val's heart. It was bad enough that pretty much the whole magical community shunted them for being romantically involved. She didn't see why they cared so much, maybe it was because they were at a time, mortal enemies? Maybe it was because they thought she would become more and more like Sanguine. Or, it could be that they maybe thought that Sanguine was just using her for his own advantage?

'_So won't you, please?_

_-Be my, be my baby-'_

Cain shook her head profusely, refusing to still think those troubling thoughts. She picked up her coffee from the kitchen bench and sipped absentmindedly. What did she want to happen tonight? It was true, despite what other people thought, but Sanguine and her had taken their time with their relationship. They had yet to make love and the thought of having him in her arms tonight made Valkyrie's eyes sparkle and shimmer with longing and desperation. They weren't saving themselves for their wedding night, they had already spoken about that and they decided they would wait until it felt right. If they took another step further in their relationship tonight, so be it. She was giddy with the possibility but she also wanted to talk about more important things with him.

'_Be my little baby_

_-My one and only baby-'_

She wanted to discuss mostly things concerning their relationship but she also wanted to catch up and hear how his newest job went. She thought long and hard about the particular order she wanted things to fall into place tonight and she finally came to a conclusion.

'_Say you'll be my darling_

_-Be my, be my baby-'_

She would meet Sanguine at the door, they'd embrace each other in a heated kiss before settling down, he'd notice the romantic set-up she created just for him and they'd share another searing embrace, they'd sit down and relax, she would ask him how his day went and he would happily tell her about how boring it was without her all the while she'd be thinking about how they're already acting like a married couple and when she catches the glimmer in his nectarine eyes, she would know he was thinking the same thing, they would carry on seamlessly and she'd genuinely laugh when he cracked a joke about the client he just worked for, once the nice chatter died down, they would move onto more serious but exciting things, for example: their relationship. Sanguine would confess his never-ending love for her again and she would tell him how happy she was to be Mrs Billy-Ray Sanguine before saying how much she loved him as well. He would reach over the table and clasp his hand in hers and he would kiss the ring that was around her wedding finger and she would get expectant shivers up her spine as he stared into her lavender eyes. He would be mesmerised by the way the flecks of emerald in her eyes danced around when she looked down at the inter-locked hands.

'_Be my baby now_

_-My one and only baby-_

Their eyes would meet again and a sense of contentment would settle between them. As the atmosphere around them grew hot, they would lean in, suddenly desperate to feel one another's lips again. They were moving painfully slow but neither escalated the pace. There were still so many things left to be said, but none broke the heavy silence. They were so close now, just about to touch and then it would be all over. The shrill of the oven alarm would sound and both would break away, the steamy tension snapping, leaving the couple somewhat disappointed. She would sigh and excuse herself to check on the vegetables that were quietly roasting. She would pad her way into the kitchen, feeling Sanguine's eyes on her the whole time. She would don on the oven mitts and bring the tea out of the oven when she realised it was ready, she would wonder how time went so quickly and she would wonder if she could propose the question that Sanguine and her could eat later so they could finish what they were about to start. She would brush away the thoughts and was about to carve the roast when she noticed Sanguine's presence right behind her. She would revel in the sensation of his body heat crawling all over her. She would drop the oven mitts immediately and turn around, she would be just about to ask what was wrong when he would suddenly enrapture her in a promising kiss. They would break apart moments later and Billy-Ray would ask if they could have tea later and she would happily oblige by shredding the mitts from her hands and she would quickly wrap up dinner and stick it in the fridge. Sanguine would grab her from behind, his capable arms around her waist and he would plant kisses up and down her throat and neck. She would sigh happily in his embrace before he grabbed her hands in his before slowly dragging her more than obliging body to his bedroom. He would spin her out and onto the bed before shutting the door with his foot.

_Click!_

'_I'll make you happy, baby, just wait and see'_

Valkyrie jolted awake from her dream and she jumped in surprise when she saw the man of her dreams* kneeling in front of her with a soft smile. Her face split into a huge smile and she leaped forward, wrapping her loving arms around his warm neck.

"Sanguine! Baby, I missed you! I'm sorry I fell asleep, I didn't mean to. I must have been a lot more tired than I thought, I was just thinking of you actually and I-" Sanguine cut Valkyrie off by taking her longing lips with his. The woman didn't complain however, she just continued on kissing the man who was her partner. Oh how his lips tasted so much better in real life that in her dream!

'_For every kiss you give me, I'll give you three'_

She shivered in pleasure when she felt Sanguine's tongue run along her lip, asking for permission. She smiled against his lips when she allowed him in and their tongue's hugged and touched each other, making sinful tremors run through their bodies. Sanguine got up from the position he was in, pulling her with him. They were standing for Heaven knows how long, just wrapped up in the feeling of each other's embrace. Billy-Ray's heart hurt, for two whole days he couldn't be with the one he loved and even though it was such a short time, it hurt all the same. Within the first hour of being apart he missed her terribly. He missed her hair, her scent, the way her body fitted into shape with his, he missed her smile, her bubbly laugh, he missed being the one who made her laugh, he missed just being around her. And when he found her sleeping soundly on the couch, his heart lurched dangerously and it was all he could do from sweeping her away into his room and _truly _claiming her. He had seen all she had done for him as well, the beautiful table set-up, his favourite meal cooking away in the oven, he didn't fail to notice that she wasn't wearing any other jewellery like she normally did either, drawing all his attention to the ring _he _gave her.

'_Oh, since the day I saw you, I have been waiting for you'_

Valkyrie let out a slight moan and Sanguine's chuckle got lost in her coffee-tasting breath. At the sound of his deep laugh, she gripped the collar of his shirt and pressed him closer to her. She had missed him terribly and she just wanted to get lost in his very being and entity. Valkyrie decided to play it by her dream though and break their lips apart so they wouldn't get too carried away. Sanguine rested his forehead against hers and she was grateful for the contact. She loved him and she wanted to be with him for a very long time. She knew he wanted the same, hence the fact he proposed to her.

'_You know I will adore you, 'til eternity'_

She took his hands and led him over to the table she conjured up not too long ago and she smiled at him when they finally sat down together. They did almost an exact replica of Valkyrie's dream. The light chatter began and her laugh rang loud and true when he cracked funny jokes. Sanguine laughed heartedly when Valkyrie re-counted the story of when Fletcher dropped by to catch up with her when Sanguine was gone and he fainted when he saw the ring. Sanguine was actually the first to open up the subject of their relationship and Valkyrie was over the moon when he asked her if she wanted to move in together! Their evening was perfect, in Valkyrie's violet eyes. The food turned out well, which she was thoroughly pleased at because usually her food is abysmal. Sanguine and herself were going to move in some place together and late that night they slept peacefully together. They slept together but didn't make love, but that was more than fine with Valkyrie, because the night was already so wonderful and perfect! Before she drifted off to sleep though, she heard Sanguine mutter something to her which made her sleep peacefully with a smile.

"I'm so happy you're my baby lil' darlin'."

~END~


	11. Resolution - Valpine

~Valkyrie x Serpine~

**A/N: The long awaited chapter appears! Some very important questions are answered in this fic and I hope they are to your liking. I think I should let you know that this series ('Dream Meeting') will probably conclude in one or two chapters. Of course I'll keep writing Valpine (because they're great) but I won't be writing for the 'Dream Meeting' series. As usual, I'm begging you to review, review, review and slip us a suggestion here and there. Now that that's out of the way, onto some Valpine!**

**Valkyrie: Hey FlawD, if you don't own anything, how are you making me and Nefarian a couple?**

**Me: Even though I don't own anything even remotely related to Skulduggery Pleasant, I can still borrow you guys from time to time and bend you at my will! *crazed expression***

**Valkyrie: …okay then… *slowly backs away***

**Serpine: R & R my lads and lovelys! **

'**Dream Meeting (3)'**

**Normal POV.**

_Resolution – Matt Corby_

'_I'm giving up'_

It was no surprise when Valkyrie Cain turned around and came face-to-face with a certain handsome villain by the name of Nefarian Serpine. For two weeks she had been desperately trying to dream of him. Although, when she was trying to dream of him, it wasn't for their usual banter and 'intimate' time, no the reason for this dream was something completely different. Over a month now these tempting and sinful dreams had been happening and every time when things started to be getting even remotely serious, Serpine would bail and leave a hot-and-bothered Valkyrie Cain high and dry. It simply wasn't fair and now she wanted answers. She wouldn't be taking Nefarian's usually cryptic answers either, she wanted crystal-clear explanations as to why he kept leaving her burning for more. She wanted solutions to the obvious problems as to how they were even meeting each other in their dreams. Once she got straight-up answers and she was happy with them, then maybe they could sneak in a bit more intimate time between them. Now that she had reminded herself of why she was here, she took a step back and smirked when she saw Nefarian frown slightly.

'_This whole lie, this whole me'_

Serpine was quick to brush it off though and stepped forward to take Valkyrie's lips with his own. Just as he was about to be rewarded with that searing passion they always seemingly conjured up, he was gifted with the second best prize: her cheek. He hung his head and sighed, knowing that after he asked a certain question, he would hear an answer he may or may not be happy with. They both took a step away from each other as he asked the question that no man should ever ask a woman. As Serpine took a step back though, the backs of his legs hit something cold and solid. He looked back to see it was a plain steel chair and when his eyes registered that it looked like an interrogation room, he turned his head back and raised his eyebrows in question at Valkyrie.

"My dear, what's the matter?"

Valkyrie looked down at the stained concreted ground for a second or two to avoid Serpine's impeccable green gaze. She felt a twinge of guilty snap within her when she turned her head away from him and he ended up kissing her cheek, but there would be time for that kind of stuff later. Gathering her courage together once again, she lifted her head and looked him in the eyes. She plastered her best, 'Don't argue with me' look and told him to sit down. She noticed the curious gleam that shone in his eyes before he cautiously pulled out the chair behind him and sat at the steel table in front of him. Valkyrie made her way over to the other side and sat down delicately. Serpine watched the way she flicked her dark tresses over her shoulder and something sinister snapped inside when he caught the scent of her perfume.

'_Call it out like a family'_

Nefarian flicked his right elbow onto the table while resting his head lazily on his fist. He hoisted his legs up onto the table and let his ankles crossed. Now that he was comfortable, he decided to venture into why Valkyrie was dreaming of a place like this.

"What's wrong my love?"

Her pale hands looked tanned as she spread them across the almost reflective surface. His question angered her slightly, surely he knew what he was doing to her when he pushed her so close to the edge but then turn around and leave her there? Or maybe the man she loved wasn't as smart and witty as she originally thought.

"I want to – no, need to talk to you about something, about us," Valkyrie stated, leaving Nefarian to raise his eyebrows in surprise.

'_Instead I bide my time, get a ride'_

"I thought we did talk about us, in my last dream we admitted our feelings towards one another. Are you saying you want a repeat of that conversation dearest?" Nefarian started getting slightly anxious now as to what exactly she wanted to talk about. What if she was here to break things off with him?

'Now, now Nefarian, you're getting ahead of yourself. She wouldn't leave you, you entice her far too much for that.' Serpine mentally chided to himself.

"No, no. That's not what I'm saying," Valkyrie waved her hand at the air as if trying to get rid of a bad smell, "what I'm saying is that we need to have an in-depth talk. Oh and when I ask questions I don't want your usual cryptic, could-mean-anything answers, I want the straight truth. If we want this relationship to continue we have to level with one another." Serpine picked up on the seriousness of her tone and he decided it best to agree…for now.

"Alright then, I'll oblige to your rules, but what will I get in return?"

The woman across from him picked up on the cheeky, devilish smile that appeared on his kissable mouth and for a moment her expression softened.

'_Until the rubber leaves the road'_

"Anything, anything you want." The sincerity of the words shocked Serpine out of his devious attitude and he accepted what she had to say with a small smile on his face, complete with a soft nod.

"Anyway, there's a few important things I want to know. Number one, how are meeting each other right now? How do we communicate to one another with our dreams?"

'_You said don't lie so I made the truth'_

"That alternate universe you shunted to a couple of years back, I found a loop-hole in it. Now, although I couldn't find a direct way to shunt into your universe, I found a way to be with you in your most vulnerable time – "

"My dreams." She finished off for him. He nodded, glad she caught on.

"That brings me to my next question Nefarian, why try and communicate and see me anyways?" She hoped that the answer was as simple as, 'Because since the day they met, he'd been thinking about her non-stop' just like she had.

Nefarian sighed, "You want the truth, don't you?"

She nodded, some of her dark hair flinging back over her bare shoulders.

'_Seemed like a lie to even you'_

"For a very long time I thought of you," Valkyrie's face lit up, "I thought about all the ways I could use you against that skeleton friend of yours. For days on end I thought about somehow capturing you, torturing you until you begged for mercy," Valkyrie's face deadpanned, "I wished to use you as leverage against Pleasant. For a long time I was at the conclusion that I thought about you all the time because of my hatred for you. When my revengeful streak vanished though, I realised I was completely wrong. It was extremely difficult for me to admit to myself but, I realised I wasn't obsessed because I hated you, I was obsessed because I was in love with you my dear." Even after the previous confession that for some time he wanted to hurt her, Valkyrie's heart still melted when she heard the words, 'I was obsessed because I was in love with you my dear.'

Valkyrie let her hands slither across the table to pull Serpine's into her own. When their hands clasped one another's, Valkyrie felt electric tingles run over her body. And when Serpine began to gently rub his thumbs on the back of her hands, it felt like her body got fried with jumper cables. He made so many emotions run through her system and she briefly wondered if she did the same thing to him. She probably didn't though, when she thought about. Why would he keep up and leaving her if she did?

'_Control your fear, it's clear'_

With a sigh she drew her hands back from Nefarian's and placed them in her lap. A stab of sadness hit Serpine somewhere low in his stomach and his hands craved for the contact again.

"If you love me, why do you constantly leave when I need you the most?"

Surprise flitted across the general's sad face and he studied the woman he said he loved intently.

"What do you mean, love?"

"You touch and kiss and caress me in all these sensual ways and I want nothing more than for you to pick me up and sweep me away in your ecstasy. But instead you push me to edge of cliff and then just when we're about to jump off together, you bail and say good night. What do you want me to do? Beg for your pleasure, because there have been some moments when I've been bloody close to doing just that."

'_That you do not know where you're going to'_

Nefarian Serpine's face went slack with shock at Valkyrie's words. He knew that when he left her, she didn't want him to go but he thought that was just for comfort. He had to leave for her though, didn't she understand that? If he didn't leave those times when things were getting particular steamy, he would've ended up doing something that Valkyrie might have not been comfortable with. He might have ended up pressuring her unknowingly into a step she wasn't prepared to take. He knew now that he was wrong in his assumptions and he knew now that his being careful had hurt her feelings. Serpine isn't usually one for feelings and touchy emotions but for a certain elemental called Valkyrie Cain, he was more than willing to push that aside.

"My dear, I'm sorry," her head whipped up so quickly at those words, Serpine thought she got whiplash! "I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I was not simply toying with you by pulling away, I was trying to contain myself."

'_So don't you worry, you'll be my resolution'_

The way his sparkling emerald eyes stared into her own mocha ones made her supress a shiver. She never did really understand why people said the eyes are the windows to the soul, until now. His gaze made her skin prickle in delight and she felt all her resolve to get the answers she wanted slowly start to crumble. At the realisation, she quickly snapped out of it and was sure to keep her voice steady when she spoke.

"What do you mean, "contain yourself"?"

"Valkyrie, I pulled back because I didn't want to force you into taking a step further into our relationship you weren't prepared to take. I may be many things, mostly all of them bad, but something I've prided myself in was always acting in a gentlemanly manner towards taking women to bed. I stopped myself from giving into your sinful touches so I didn't push any boundaries. Do you understand now why I pulled away, love?"

'_Characters of no illusion, you'll be my resolution'_

Valkyrie nodded her head vigorously and her eyes shined with tenderness when she looked at him. His heart swelled at the sight. A small smile appeared on those perfect lips of hers and to look at her angelic face was all Serpine could do to stop himself from climbing over the table to caress her mouth with his own. Nefarian let his eyes do an appreciative sweep over her lush body and he almost grunted in satisfaction. How had he not noticed before? How had he not watched the way her silk midnight nightie rose and fell with every breath she took? How had he not stared at the small crease of cleavage that was just slightly protruding at the top of the black material? How had he not given any care to notice the way her face flushed when she caught him staring? How had he not yet realised that the beautiful woman was slowing crawling her way over to him on top of the cold table – hold up!

'_Turn around, put it down and see'_

Nefarian's eyes widened considerably at the view he was given and he had barely enough time to register that Valkyrie was reigning him in by his tie. She hoisted his face up to hers and he stared into her shimmering eyes for so long that he felt his eyes drying up. He was about to give in and kiss her but she pushed her head past his to whisper in his ear.

"Just letting you know Nefarian," she whispered so quietly, even he was straining to hear her correctly, "that with you," her enchanting voice sent seductive shivers down his back, "there are no boundaries." Serpine's entire body tensed up and locked into place. She'd sensually whispered just a couple of words and it had made his whole body burn up with lust and passion.

'_That this is really the place to be'_

He felt his mouth go dry and his eyes glazed over at the sensation of Valkyrie entwining her fingers in his hair. His head tilted up to hers and they finally let themselves be sewn into an earth-shattering lip-lock. His loving hands pressed themselves into her hips and waist, making her shudder in pleasure. His mouth worked hers and Serpine soon found himself standing up from the chair to have better access to her crouching frame. He let his hands caress her lower back and press her against him. She had managed to ground out a breathless moan and something deep within him shattered. All his gentlemanly thoughts went out the window and he randomly ripped his lips from Valkyrie's. His teeth grazed down on her collarbone, leaving a faint red mark. He continued to tug, nip and lick her succulent skin and Valkyrie knew she couldn't hold out for much longer. They somehow clambered off the table and now stood in each other's embrace. All too soon though, Serpine felt Valkyrie pull back and he looked up to see what the problem was. He saw the hopeful expression on her sweet face and he smiled as he rested his forehead against hers.

'_I'm not you, nor you me'_

Valkyrie let her arms softly travel down his body to eventually slip her hands into his.

"Are you sure my dear?"

Valkyrie's mocha eyes slightly shifted into a dark chocolate colour and there was pure excitement in her eyes. Nefarian did notice the thrilling gleam that sliced through her eyes for a mere second though. She grinned at him and pressed a small kiss to his swollen lips. Wasting no more time, he started to slowly pull her towards the grey door. He hoped Valkyrie was smart enough to conjure up a bedroom of sorts but when he opened the door he was more than surprised to look behind him and see his own bedroom. He would have thought she would've built up an elegant room that was adorned with the finest furniture and complete with a hand-crafted chandelier. But instead, she picked something that was mainly foreign yet slightly familiar to her. Something that held significance in her heart. The more he thought about it though, he should have actually predicted she would imagine is bedroom. He raised an eyebrow back at her with a sly grin on his face and she rewarded him with a small, shy smile. The sight warmed his beating heart and he carefully tugged her back into his embrace and she happily obliged.

'_But we're both moving steady'_

~END~

**Serpine: So it's safe to say we all know what will be happening in the next instalment of 'Dream Meeting'.**

**Valkyrie: *Shudders* Don't remind me.**

**Serpine: *Snorts* Oh who knows, it might be fun. FlawD might even make you enjoy it.**

**Me: Guys ease up. The next instalment might not even be that forward as you're thinking it to be Serpine.**

**Serpine: Pity, I was looking forward to that. *Frowns***

**Valkyrie: Can we just drop the subject please? **

**FlawD: Alright Val, then could you please do the important task of reminding the audience to do something then?**

**Valkyrie: …Oh yeah! I almost forgot. Review and send suggestions people! **


	12. Rapture - Valpine

~Valkyrie x Serpine~

**WARNING: Okay so it's not a very big warning but it's just a heads up really. Valkyrie and Serpine finally get intimate in this chapter but it's not explicit. I believe it's definitely suitable for matured teenagers but if I had to put an age rating on it, I'd say 15 – 16 and above.**

**A/N: HELLO! Have I missed you! It feels like I haven't written for you in ages! Sorry for my absence, not that many people care, but still, I apologise. Anyhow, I'm back with another chapter and yes I know how you have been waiting for it. Don't worry though, this chapter is not very explicit. It wouldn't be because the rating for this story is 'T' anyways so it's mainly all good for most teenagers. I don't quite know why I'm still rambling on but I've just missed all of the wonderful reviews I've gotten and once again I give you my thanks :). Xx**

**FlawD: Serpine, if you please.**

**Serpine: FlawDiamonds doesn't own Skulduggery Pleasant. Although if she did you can't even begin to imagine the naughty things she'd get up to with that skeleton –**

**FlawD: AND LET'S QUICKLY TURN TO VALKYRIE FOR AN IMPORTANT REMINDER FOR ALL THE READERS OUT THERE!**

**Valkyrie: *Snickers* FlawDiamonds would be forever in your debt if you could please leave a comment or two, she really loves reading all your reviews. She doesn't have many things to look forward to in her life so your reviews help fill a void in her depressing, sadistic life –**

**FlawD: I hate you both -_-. To those of you who are a part of the beautiful audience, please Read & Review! Thank you, thank you! Xx**

'**Dream Meeting (4)'**

**Normal POV.**

_Rapture – Nadia Ali _

'_The night I laid my eyes on you'_

There was an insurmountable feeling of apprehension soaking the heat-filled air. Although neither of them would admit it, Serpine and Valkyrie were just as nervous as each other. Valkyrie Cain wanted to squirm and wiggle under Nefarian Serpine's lustful gaze but at the same time she wanted to stumble and fall into those despairing pits of emerald. How was it that this villain speared a dark, twisted, love arrow into her heart? She had her armour on for so long and somehow he found a weak spot and struck her there. Her clouded mind ran through all the moments they had shared and stopped when it froze right at the beginning of their Dream Meeting affairs. She saw the way he looked at her, but at the time she couldn't read his gaze right. At the time she thought his penetrating emerald stare was just trying to make her uncomfortable, to try and force her to succumb to his almighty power with just a look. But now, now she knew it was something different entirely. That look was one of yearning. He yearned for her in a way that no other man had and in the beginning that made her feel unsure, uneasy even. When she looked at his yearning gaze now though, a raging fire of exciting emotions rose from deep within her. She knew she yearned for him just the same and she hoped the same feelings and emotions coursed through him as well.

'_  
'Felt everything around me move'_

Nefarian stared harshly at the woman in front of him. She surely was not the naïve little girl he had met all those years ago when she was only twelve. No, she was all grown up by now with a stellar body but an even more beautiful personality. Honestly, sometimes Serpine thought he had struck gold when he realised he was in love with her and he felt like he had found the mother load when she said she was in love with him too. How had an evil, diabolical, general like himself find love? He didn't want to dwell on those questions any longer. No, the need for him to prove his love to the wonderful woman in front of him was overwhelming and was slowly over-riding every coherent thought in his mind and body.

'_Got nervous when you looked my way'_

Every nerve was on an electrical high in Valkyrie's body and the sensation was definitely unfamiliar. She had never felt to expectant, cautious, nervous. She knew that whatever happened tonight would really establish something between Serpine and herself and that realisation sent her emotions spiralling into edgy and curious waters. It wasn't that she had never been intimate with a man before, because she had. She had just never been intimate with a man she loved and felt deeply for. Valkyrie was mature to know by now to let the man take the lead and if Nefarian and herself finally did get intimate, she was more than happy to let him take the reins. After all, what she wanted most for Serpine to make his love known for her by taking action and she of course wanted to return that sweet love and affection ten-fold. A sharp intake of air was drawn in through her nose before she took one, small, shaking step towards Serpine.

'_But you knew all the words to say'_

Nefarian copied Valkyrie's unsure step with one of his own and when her innocent mocha eyes travelled up his suit-covered torso to meet with his glittering irises, he hesitated in placing his hands on her hips. A tiny shy smile graced those light pink lips he loved and surprise echoed through his entire body as she gently grabbed his wrists and put his hands on her silk-covered hips for him. He could see in her eyes that she wanted to regret making such a bold move but he assured her it was alright with a grinning smile. Cheery lights danced in her eyes as she smiled back at him. His once cold heart fluttered when he realised that her smile was caused because of him. Oh how he wanted to be the cause of so many more smiles to come. He watched as her unstable and shaky hands made their way up his chest to rest softly on his shoulders. He took this as his cue to lean in, not kiss her, but to whisper a question in her ear.

"Do you trust me?"

Those four words held so many meanings to a certain Miss Cain that was stationed in front of a certain Mr Serpine. She didn't even think that Nefarian might be just as nervous she was. Because of course she trusted him, she wouldn't have let herself fall into this position if she didn't. He must just need some reassuring. A confident nod of her head seemed to put Nefarian's concerns at ease.

'_Then your love slowly moved right in'_

Forehead rested against forehead and quiet content sigh was heard from the dark-haired woman. The man, in turn, pressed a delicate kiss to the woman's cheek. The love-struck woman just smiled inwardly as she wondered how such a small, romantic kiss on the cheek could feel so wonderful. Maybe it was to do with the exciting tension in the room, maybe it was to do with how the man's grip felt on her hips or maybe the kiss felt so wonderful because it was filled with such passion and utter devotion from the man she loved. All she knew was that the kiss was absolutely mesmerising and it felt undeniably wonderful. It was such an amazing sensation.

'_All this time oh my love where've you been'_

It seemed to Nefarian that he had been waiting an eternity to meet someone like the woman who was clinging to him. Although the time waiting for her was excruciatingly slow, he would go through it all again just to catch a haunting glimpse of her. Fancy Nefarian Serpine, feared villain and powerful general, falling in love with do-gooder mage Valkyrie Cain. He wondered briefly what her skeleton friend would think of their dark affair. He quickly slapped that thought away though when he felt Valkyrie tilt her head towards his. He did the same, tilting his head down at her so that their lips could soon meet. Ever so slowly, their eager lips were inching closer and closer to receive a caress from the other pair.

'_Mi amore don't you know_

_My love I want you so_

_Sugar you make my soul complete_

_Rapture tastes so sweet'_

Both pairs of lips were now very lightly brushing against each other. It felt like a feather was blown against them in a warm breeze of breath. Their lips trembled slightly and both were so close to just throwing caution to the wind and simply ravishing one another, but they knew to hold back. Neither of them wanted to make the mistake of treating this moment too quickly and then regretting it later on. Self-control though was becoming harder and harder to maintain and both knew that once they completed the kiss, they'd be walking down a road of no return. Not that they minded.

'_I'm mesmerised in every way'_

Valkyrie felt Serpine's hands snake upwards, softly rolling up her body to reach up and cup her jaw. He scrunched up her night camisole one his journey and she felt the air nip at the tops of her thighs. Not once though did the general glance down at the revealed skin, he kept his impeccable stare on her eyes and on her eyes only. The young mage's heart fluttered when she noticed this and she was slightly mesmerised by his self-control. She silently wished she had that kind of control but all she could think about was how tempting Serpine's lips looked.

'_You keep me in a state of daze'_

Valkyrie let her own hands wander up and wrap themselves around Nefarian's neck. Her slender fingers played with the gleaming jet black tresses of hair that hung against the back of his neck. At long last, the villain could wait no longer and finally claimed the heroine's lips with his. It was everything their kisses usually were, and more. They caressed each other with their mouths and when the passionate contact was made, they both sighed into one another. Serpine's hands drifted down to her bare shoulders and pulled her closer. Valkyrie was more than happy for the extra contact and she pushed her body further against his. An unusual girlish giggle escaped her mouth and was captured by Serpine's when she heard the rough moan rumble through Nefarian's throat. They smiled against each other and their kisses seemed to be wrapped in a searing heat, making them both want to tremble at the knees.

'_Your kisses make my skin feel weak'_

An audible gasp was heard from Valkyrie when she felt strong, teasing, hands grasp at her butt. She blushed at her love's actions but Serpine paid no mind. He pushed his head into the crook of her neck and began to leave small love bites down it. Valkyrie felt her swirling brown eyes roll back into her head as she craned her neck higher. Teeth grazed her succulent skin and she felt a wave of lust crash into her. Her skin and Serpine's mouth were a wicked combination and every time his lips stumbled along her body, she felt herself on the verge of vertigo.

'_I'm always melting in your heat'_

They could both feel their body heat radiating and yet feeding off each other and the atmosphere had snapped to a superb warm temperature. Serpine let his body bend down for a second to grip the backs of Valkyrie's legs. He hoisted them up carefully and he grinned at her when she followed suit and wrapped her legs around his waist. Their swollen lips met once again and both knew that things were going to get very serious soon. A tantalising mixture of excitement and apprehension bubbled away somewhere in Valkyrie's core while thankfulness and anticipation stirred deep within Nefarian. Valkyrie marvelled at the pure strength Serpine had in him to keep her suspended in the steamy air without a wall for her to rest on. Half of the strength was possibly made up of sheer determination while the other was actually relying on brutal muscle. At the end of the dream, Valkyrie didn't really care how he was holding her up just as long as he was and he wasn't going to drop her, unless it was on a bed. Her returning kisses froze momentarily though when she felt his hands on the hem of her silk black nightie. She saw him pull his head back to size up her reaction when he slipped his hand underneath the magnificent material and slowly pushed it up. She wasn't really focusing on his actions though, just the feel of his naked and gloved hand on her skin. She wanted to stay like that for a long, long time, just lost in the teasing feeling of his fingertips grazing the sides of her hips. She was drawn back to reality though when she heard him whisper softly.

"Is this alright, love?" She looked at him then and in answer to his question, gripped the bottom of her camisole and flung it over her head into a random space behind her. She pressed her face against his again and replied with a sultry, "It's more than alright."

'_Then I soar like a bird in the wind'_

The humid air slipped past her half-naked body and Nefarian growled appreciatively at the under-garments she wore: matching lacy black underwear and bra.

"My, my, I'm impressed my dear," he began walking her backwards before dropping her onto her bed and flopping down almost on top of her, "shall I get you out of these impressive clothes?" His mischievous smirk made her shudder in pleasure and all she wanted to do was scream, 'Yes! Hurry up!' But she knew that because she gave a little she could take a little. While Serpine was marvelling at every shape and curve of her body, Valkyrie stated something quietly.

'_Oh I glide as I'm flying through heaven'_

"Only if I can get you out of yours." A wicked gleam shot through Serpine's eyes but before he could reply with a witty remark, Valkyrie cut him off but putting her lips on his. She pushed his black suit jacket off his shoulders and they both watched it roll off the bed, satisfied when they heard a soft, 'thunk' to follow shortly afterwards. They resumed their kissing actions shortly afterwards and Valkyrie smiled when Serpine's shirt was there one second and then the next it was somewhere on the floor. She admired every sharp, defined line and every bump that her hands slid over. She admired everything about him. The next to come off were his suit pants as his socks and shoes were already tossed somewhere else. She stared at him in his half-naked glory just as he had with her and pure excitement riveted itself throughout her entire body. She liked the way his satin black boxers hung low on his sharp hips.

'_Mi amore don't you know_

_My love I want you so_

_Sugar you make my soul complete_

_Rapture tastes so sweet'_

She felt his kisses everywhere, his hands were roaming every part of her body just as hers were his. She let her hands glide over the smooth muscles of his back and she shuddered when he pressed his body up against hers. She was content in every way possible. How he made her feel so many emotions was beyond her and for once, she didn't mind. This just felt so right to her, Serpine's body wrapped around hers, his lips on hers, his wonderful body on _hers. _

'_Since we connect behind closed doors'_

It was just Nefarian and Valkyrie. No one else was there, seeing their love and passions for each other unfold. Both of them thought the moment was perfect, they were showering pleasant kisses on one another and they didn't have to be shy about it.

'_Spark this fire even more'_

Everything was going so smoothly. Serpine slithered his hands up Valkyrie's back and began to play with the clasp to her bra. He unhooked it with skill and precision and Valkyrie didn't want to dwell on just exactly how he got so good at unhooking bras. Both her under-garments were shredded from her body leaving her bare. Before Nefarian could comment on how utterly beautiful she was, she ripped the general's boxers from his body. Both just layed there, panting heavily with wide eyes as they studied each other. They recognised the vulnerability of the moment but neither felt self-conscious. They felt safe in one another's naked presence. There was no urge to cover up and blush or try and run away, there was just that moment.

'_No telling where will be next'_

There was no way to know where or how soon one of them would dream of the other, so right now, all they had was this little slice of time. They were careful with it, cautious not to waste it. So bonded together again with their lips and let their love take its natural and enchanting course.

'_Surrender to your rapture arrest'_

That's when they become one. Their bodies joined and both felt an onslaught of raw emotion course through them. Longing, passion, devotion, desire, compassion, kindness, delight, adoration, affection, all mixed together to create the perfect feeling of love and contentment. They wouldn't give this emotion up for anything. This was their moment, their love that they could only be created by them being together. A blissful haze had sifted over both entities and through the midst of it all, four little words had been whispered by a certain villain that was loved by a certain heroine.

"I love you Valkyrie." Happiness rang true in Serpine's voice as he said the words that set Valkyrie and himself free. And then a warm feeling of joy ignited in his heart and spread throughout his veins when he heard the woman underneath him whisper, "I love you Nefarian."

They clung to one another afterwards, a relaxing sheet of quiet had been thrown upon them both.

'_Lay your head, let the slumber float'_

A protective arm was slung around Valkyrie's shoulders while the other traced invisible patterns on her arm that was wrapped around his waist. Her right ear was pressed against his chest, listening to the peaceful 'thrum' of his heart and images of what had happened moments before were replying in both of their minds. It was an amazing night they had shared with each other and both knew that sleep was drawing near.

'_Can't resist, that's why words were wrote'_

"You won't disappear tonight Nefarian, right?" Valkyrie sleepily asked. She received a comforting squeeze from the man she was talking to.

"Not tonight, love." She smiled at his words and snuggled in closer to the warm body she was laying on.

'_Mi armore don't you know_

_My love I want you so_

_Sugar you make my soul complete_

_Rapture tastes so sweet'_

~END~

**Valkyrie: ….Wow.**

**Serpine: Was I that good huh?**

**Valkyrie: NO! You pervert, I'm saying wow because of how much effort FlawD put in to make the story not perverted and gross.**

**FlawD: Do you really think that Valkyrie!? It's really nice if you do. I put a lot of dedication and focus into this piece, trying to make it the way I wanted it to. I hope the readers like it. Speaking of the fabulous readers, don't you have something to ask them Serpine?**

**Serpine: FlawD is really desperate for you guys to review on this chapter. She wants to – no, needs to know if it was sweet or responsible or beautiful or nice or mature or all of those options or just down right disgusting and horrid. She really needs **_**YOUR**_** opinion on this one lads and lovely's! So please, R & R! xx**


	13. I Hate Myself For Loving You - Valguine

~Valkyrie x Sanguine~

**A/N: Another fic written with the amazing ****NightcatMau****! Please go check out her version of the song, "I Hate Myself For Loving You" By Joan Jett after you have read mine! I can guarantee you it's a million times better than mine is! I wanna give a big hug and a massive thank you to the people who had reviewed my chapters! So please keep 'em coming because they make me kick my butt into gear and write more chapters! Cheers xx. Take it away Sanguine!**

**B.R Sanguine: FlawD would just like y'all to know that she does not own anything. Nup, nothin', she owns a big fat zero of nothin'. **

**Valkyrie: All you damned readers better review else I'll set Darquesse on you. Enough said.**

**B.R Sanguine: Dang, I like 'em feisty!**

**Valkyrie: *glares***

**B.R Sanguine: ... *holds up hands* I didn't say nothin'.**

**FlawD: On with my crappy fanfic!**

**Normal POV**

_I Hate Myself For Loving You – Joan Jett and The Blackhearts_

'_Midnight, gettin' uptight, where are you?'_

Her skin crawled with expectation. For two hours straight she had been waiting already and she cursed herself for actually thinking he'd show up. He should know that she had so much more to lose than what he did. If anyone saw him with her, they'd congratulate him and think he's a cunning villain for scoring the great skeleton detective's partner. If anything, his reputation would grow and become more established. Her reputation however would be torn to shreds, she would be shunned by the magical community that believed and followed her, not to mention what the Sanctuary and Skulduggery would think of her. Would Skulduggery even talk to her? Would he become violent with her, believe that she had finally dropped off into the bad end of the magical pool? If he ever found out about her meetings with the 'Hit man Deluxe', would he still be best friends with her? The despairing thought of Skulduggery Pleasant no longer being in her life made her heart shudder in pain. He was everything to her, she loved the narcissistic skeleton more than her own life.

'_You said you'd meet me, now it's quarter to two'_

Although she loved a certain skeleton to the moon and back, a small slither of her heart pumped for a charming, yet slightly annoying, Texan. Why it did that, she would have no idea why. Up until recently, they had been worst enemies. After all, he'd tried to kill her numerous amounts of times, dangerously formed an intimate relationship with her remnant possessed sister Tanith Low, has once or twice foiled the plans of Skulduggery and her friends and was regarded as one of the most wanted criminals in the magical community. The list wasn't exactly looking good. And yet, she still felt compelled to see him. She wanted to hear his southern accent drawl out the words, "Lil' darlin'." She wanted to marvel at the way his sand-coloured suit fit him so rightly and well. She desperately wanted the feel of his succulent lips on hers. The confident woman wasn't stupid, she knew wanting those things was an idiotic action, hell, she knew even thinking about the charming Texan was a bad move in itself.

'_I know I'm hangin' but I'm still wantin' you'_

She released an audible sigh of disappointment when she realised that he wasn't coming. How naïve she had been to think he'd actually show. She felt the urge to just walk out of the alleyway and head home but her legs wouldn't activate, they wouldn't even budge.

'_Hey Jack, it's a fact they're talkin' in town'_

Curse her body and mind for having different courses for action. The two just clashed when they disagreed. Her mind screamed at her to forget about him, it was saying that him not showing up was a sign. That he was never going to come for her like Skulduggery always did. But her heart argued back saying that maybe that was a good thing. If he never came and rescued her like Skulduggery always did, then didn't that mean he wouldn't always ridicule her and patronise her for doing the wrong thing? As the young mage hung her head in confusion, she heard the crackle of asphalt.

'_I turn my back and you're messin' around'_

Her attentive ears were straining now, desperately searching for that familiar rumble and grumble of ground being erupted. Her entire being froze as she listened. The sound never came though, just as she predicted. She was probably imagining things by this point. Cautiously, she released a breath she didn't know she was holding while at the same time she blew her hair out of her face. She knew the message she had sent to him was vague but she figured that the great 'Hit man Deluxe' wouldn't simply miss the opportunity to meet her while no one was around. Her assumption had clearly been wrong though. How shameful. Her eyebrows slanted up in disappointment and her lilac eyes grew shiny at the small build-up of moisture in them. Who was she kidding? She was nothing special, besides having an evil alter-ego called Darquesse. He was probably with more stunning, beautiful women all the time. Why would he even want so see someone so ordinary like herself? Even if she was supposed to be one of his enemies.

'_I'm not really jealous, don't like lookin' like a clown'_

She would seem so foolish to anyone that was watching. But she didn't care. What she did care about was if she would be lucky enough to see the Texan she cared for outside of the "battlefield". This was it, her body decided it had had enough and she heard her boots click against the concrete as she made her way out of the dark alleyway. There was no use for her to remain here after such a long period of time and she was so grateful that her legs and feet had finally decided to obey her mind's command. A step here and a step there and her body was almost about to be lit up by a nearby street lamp.

'_I think of you every night and day'_

Her left foot was about to make contact with the hard concrete again but instead, it made contact with a piece of paper that was on the ground. Her eyes grew wide at the thin strip of material beneath her jet black boot. Bending down she lifted her heel and gently lifted the piece of paper to see hand-writing on it.

'_You took my heart then you took my pride away'_

Her warm heart thumped dangerously against her rib-cage when she barely caught sight of her name that was printed on the white paper. Quickly exiting the dark alleyway, she stood underneath the street lamp to read the paper that was addressed to her.

_** Valkyrie,_

_Lil' darlin' I'm sorry I couldn't meet you tonight like you so delicately asked for. I just didn't have the time to stay 'n' chat, I had another client that needed to be attended to. Lemme make it up to you darlin', let's meet up at the same place that you went to tonight but on Wednesday next week. I'll be there at 12:45pm sharp, I'll wait for you just like you so graciously waited for me. _

_P.S Make sure Funnybones doesn't follow you._

_Sanguine.**_

Her head pounded when she comprehended the message. Sanguine wanted to see her, he just didn't have the time tonight. She wasn't hallucinating this time either, this was for real. She felt dizzy with excitement. She let her back lean against the cool metal pole next to her before sighing and raising a hand to her head. Sanguine and her, finally meeting like she always wanted to. She didn't know what she was going to say but she had a feeling that neither did he. Nervous Texan butterflies buzzed around in her stomach and throughout the cold, dark night that she had spent waiting for him, she smiled. A genuine smile, one that could only be caused by certain actions from a certain someone. Before she tucked the note into her pants pocket, she flipped it over absentmindedly. She didn't think her heart could swell anymore from nervousness like it already had, but it grew to the size of a balloon when she read the following words:

_**P.P.S 'I Hate Myself For Loving You'**_

A small kiss to the looped words was all that was needed to seal the fact that Valkyrie hates herself for loving Sanguine too.

~END~

**FlawD: I'm a disgrace to all fanfiction writers, honestly.**

**B.R Sanguine: What d'ya mean?**

**FlawD: I don't know, I just feel like I'm a bad writer. I mean I get wonderful reviews (which I'm superbly grateful for) but I have so many more views on my stories than I do reviews, that I feel like there are only a select few that appreciate my writing. Oh well.**

**Valkyrie: If you disagree with this readers, then REVIEW! Thank you! xx**


	14. A Woman Like Me Pt I - Valduggery

~Valkyrie x Skulduggery~

**A/N: Guess who's back, back, back, back again, again, again, FlawD is back, back, back, tell a friend. Well hello to my little faithful angels out there who read this poor excuse (in my opinion) of a songfic collection! I am so thankful to all my loyal readers out there even the silent ones! Big hugs and cuddles go to everyone that has favourite/followed/reviewed! I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you guys and gals! I'm very sorry for my absence, I'm sure you all missed me terribly ;)! So for me being away from Fanfiction for so long, here's a little saucy gift to the Valduggery fans out there! So good to be back. Xx**

**Skulduggery: Besides from FlawD apologising to you all for being away for so long, she would also like to let you know that she doesn't own anything! That disclaimer goes for any songs and characters that are used throughout these fics! :D**

**Valkyrie: IMPORTANT! This is letting the readers know that I am in my 20's in this fic and this is set before I met Skulduggery! The time is set during the war against Mevolent so obviously that means Skulduggery is human but FlawD is making it that Skul doesn't have a wife or kid.**

**FlawD: Thanks guys! Now to all you devoted readers out there, don't forget to read/review/favourite/follow! On with the songfic!**

**Normal POV**

_Woman Like Me – Beyoncé_

Skulduggery laughed at the fellow Dead Men cracking jokes and poking fun at Anton for not wanting to come out to the Burlesque club they were all currently inside of. Everyone's jaws hung slack when Anton turned around and said simply, "I have no desire to go out as I have better things to do." Of course, Saracen followed up Shudder's statement with an accusation that Anton was gay. In reward to his words, Saracen got a stony glare from the man his accusation was aimed at.

"He didn't even deny it!" Shouted Erskine while grinning wildly at Anton.

"I'm not gay." Anton ground out angrily.

"Oh, I'm so disappointed!" Larrikin exclaimed while blowing a kiss and a cheeky wink Shudder's way.

Although Skulduggery was having a good ol' time laughing his head off, he sensed a fight coming on and decided to intervene before the jokes went too far.

"Oi men! Over this way, I got us a table!" Everyone's attention quickly snapped to Skulduggery as he followed a petite blonde waitress to their seating. The rest of the Dead Men were quick to follow suit as all of them were in dire need of a drink and a good show. All of them sat at the round ebony table and began to relax. Skulduggery was the one seated closest to the stage with Ghastly to his left and Dexter to his right. Next to Dexter was Saracen who was seated next to Erskine. Larrikin was getting comfortable in his seat that was next to Erskine while Hopeless settled in beside him and Anton. Ghastly began to chuckle when he heard Shudder mutter beneath his breath that he was surrounded by idiots. Shudder gave the burly man next to him a brooding look before he got nudged by Hopeless.

"Stop sulking Shudder and let the many beautiful women around you set your cold heart aflutter." All of the Dead Men rolled their eyes at Hopeless' hopeless poetry. The suave man was quite the character and a valuable friend to have on the battle field but for the life of him, no matter the situation, he couldn't stop rhyming! In response the Dead Men's eye-rolling, Hopeless gave them all his trademark goofy smile.

"Now that everyone's settled, do we all know what we're each getting for drinks?" Ghastly asked.

There was a collective round of 'Yes's' and nods around the table so Erskine did the task of calling over the waitress. Upon seeing Ravel, the waitress made a show of puffing out her chest and revealing her ample amount of cleavage which gave a devilish gleam in Erskine's eyes. Everyone knew what _that _meant. If Erskine was to ever go off to the bathroom, he'd no doubt be accompanied by that waitress later on.

"I'm Natalie. I'll be your waitress for this evening, what would you like to order gentlemen?" Her voice was sickly sweet and Skulduggery wanted to cringe at how forward she was towards Ravel.

"Hello Miss Natalie, I'm Erskine Ravel and I'll be your ever-loyal customer tonight. So be a lovely girl and grab me beer." Erskine purred lowly to a blushing Natalie beside him.

"Do you have any preference on that beer, Mr. Ravel?"

With a shake of his raven-haired head, Erskine replied with a sultry, "Surprise me."

Natalie nodded while furiously scribbling down what he wanted. Skulduggery had no doubt that she had probably written Erskine's name with little love hearts around it.

"What would everyone else like to order?"

"I'll have a Rum & Coke, thanks." Saracen declared.

"One Scotch on the rocks please." Dexter called.

With a raise of the hand, Hopeless said, "Two shots of Vodka over here."

"A Jagerbomb for me would be great Natalie." A sly smile from Larrikin earned him a smile from Natalie herself.

"Vodka & Orange would be well appreciated, thank you." Ghastly ordered.

"I'll just grab a simple glass of red wine." Anton muttered.

Natalie gave nod after nod as she scribbled down everyone's orders. She noticed though that one other man hadn't ordered yet. She looked over to him and saw that his attention was focused on the lights that were dimming. The new lighting set a nice yellow glow on his sharp features and Natalie couldn't help but study his strong, defined cheek-bones and stubbled jaw-line. Her attention though was brought to his glistening emerald eyes that were shadowed underneath his shaggy jet black hair as he turned and realised she was waiting for him to order. She watched his dark-grey suit crease at the elbow when he leaned his arm on the table to adjust the grey Fedora on his head while his other hand was placed on his knee. He was very attractive, no doubt, but personally Natalie's attraction was captivated by Erskine Ravel.

"And what would you like to order sir?"

"If I could please have a White Russian, you'd have my thanks." Skulduggery's velvet voice reached Natalie's ears and she nodded politely.

"I'll be back with your drinks very shortly." With those words she parted to go hand their orders to the man behind the bar but before she turned and walked away, she left Erskine a fleeting wink. Which he happily returned with a dazzling smirk.

Saracen gave a yawn before leaning back into his chair and turning his head towards Anton.

"Hey Shudder, what's up with the red wine?"

"What do you mean by the Rue?" Shudder said cautiously.

"Could you have picked a more girlier drink? Or are you trying to tell us that in a gay relationship, you'd be the woman?" Larrikin taunted Anton dangerously.

Anton's eye twitched menacingly before replying with, "For the last time you fools, I'm not gay!"

"Don't worry about them Anton, you shan't waste the time. I for one find it nice that you ordered a classy glass of red wine." Hopeless offered in his thick English accent.

"I agree with Hopeless." Ghastly stated.

"Can we all just move the conversation topic to something else?" Anton suggested, annoyed.

"Ease up Anton, we're only joking. We all know you're straight." Skulduggery stated helpfully.

"I don't know Skulduggery, I have suspicions…" Vex trailed off.

Erskine and Larrikin stifled laughs but Ghastly silenced them.

"That's enough guys, we came here to force Anton to have a good time and constantly teasing him is obviously going to have the opposite effect." Bespoke declared.

"I'm so glad you all feel the need to drag me to your useless gatherings." Anton drawled sarcastically. With his remark, the table full of Dead Men laughed.

"Is anyone else here eager to see the new act they've got prepared here at Bella's Burlesque?" Larrikin questioned.

"I'm not sure what to expect just yet, but it'll be good I bet. I just hope the new act doesn't cause too much of a threat because I want to see the rest of the Burlesque girls on set!"

"Honestly Hopeless, I couldn't agree with you more. I hope this new act didn't cause other Burlesque girls to be shown the door. Oh god, I've got "Hopeless Syndrome"!" Exclaimed Vex in his Australian drawl. Everyone else groaned while Skulduggery and Hopeless laughed.

"Oh no! Not that again!" Erskine pleaded.

Skulduggery remembered that time when everyone had "Hopeless Syndrome" clearly. It was a very long, gruelling time for all of the Dead Men except Hopeless. Everyone was on a very dangerous mission and they were all restless and were just itching for the mission to be over. After a while everyone had grown excessively annoyed at Hopeless' constant rhyming and fluent poetry that Vex and Rue decided to make a bet with Hopeless. If Hopeless could rhyme a _very _lengthy poem fluently and precisely about something completely random and of their choice, they would ALL have to rhyme non-stop for three days straight. It wouldn't matter if they were held captive by enemies either, whatever they were doing and wherever they were, they would have to rhyme. However, if Hopeless failed to complete the task, he couldn't talk at all for the whole period of time that we were on the mission. It seemed so simple, they would all just have to pick something that would be excruciatingly difficult to rhyme about. They all thought they had picked an option that outsmarted Hopeless and his rhyming. Together, they picked out a speck of dirt for Hopeless to rhyme about. The rest of the Dead Men thought it was brilliant! It wasn't dirt he had to form a poem for, it was an actual speck of dirt Erskine spotted on the ground. The speck was just grey and boring, nothing special about it and yet the Dead Men were all forced to endure a ten minute poem about the little speck of dirt.

Hopeless is actually a lot smarter than what people give him credit for.

So obviously the rest of the Dead Men lost the bet and had to rhyme non-stop for three days. It was actually quite simple for Skulduggery as he is quite the singer and he pretty much just turned everything into song but for everyone else, it proved to be just a tad difficult. And after the three day period of rhyming, everyone had gotten into the habit for it and the Dead Men were still spitting out rhymes and poems for four days afterwards. After the fifth day of not being able to stop rhyming, Larrikin declared they all had "Hopeless Syndrome".

Hopeless was about to remark on the syndrome that was named after him but the lights above the crowd dimmed almost completely and the bright spotlight was aimed at centre stage. The crowd silenced almost immediately, eager to see the new act that was about to come on.

The golden curtains were drawn to the side off the stage to reveal…the most agonisingly beautiful woman Skulduggery Pleasant had ever seen.

His eyes were glued to her immediately and he watched the way her body swung to the delicate violins that were playing. His glittering eyes studied her glittering golden dress that sparkled in the bright light. He looked at how the dress began to flow out at her curvaceous hips and long legs. The dress flattered her body immensely and made her look like an ethereal vision of the Goddess Aphrodite. Her plump beige lips and falsified eyelashes highlighted her facial features beautifully and when she gave a swish of her long, curled, navy-tinged hair it did things to Skulduggery that he would never admit to. Cleopatra's beauty couldn't compare to the woman's on stage. When she started to sing though, that was when Skulduggery really had concerns that he was _really _lusting after her.

"_Do you think, you could fall for a woman like me?"_

In Skulduggery's opinion, he already had fallen for her and hard. Her rich voice was as smooth and as sweet as honey. He had never heard such a melodic tone, it felt as though it kept him in a trance.

"'_Cause I find it hard to trust, I need to much"_

"_And I really don't believe in love, no, no"_

Another tempting sway of her hips kept Skulduggery on edge. He felt as though he couldn't breathe for it would interrupt her and ruin the magic spell she had intricately casted with just a simple song sung with her enchanting voice.

"_Do you think that I could be the girl of your dreams?"_

Skulduggery was sure she was going to be after seeing her and hearing her voice.

"_Sometimes I don't let things go, get emotional and sometimes I'm just out of control"_

Her painfully curvy body seemed to glide slowly across the small catwalk on the stage until she was at the very end and enticing the audience to think of nothing but her with subtle movements.

"_You need to stop for a minute, before you get too deep up in it"_

"_(Too deep)"_

The woman on stage was joined by two other women who were doing back-up vocals and dance moves. They were dressed the same in short gold mini-skirts with black leather boob-tubes complete leather knee-high boots. The other two woman were very visually appealing, no doubt about it but to Skulduggery Pleasant, his attention could only be held by the stunning woman in the front.

"'_Cause everything ain't what it seems"_

Ghastly stole a glance to his dear friend next to him and saw his attention devoted to the dark-haired beauty singing. He smirked before glancing back up to the well-built blonde back-up dancer/vocalist. She truly was a sight to remember as her crimped blonde locks flew around her face like an over-powering lioness. What Ghastly wouldn't give to have his hands run through her wild hair and take her lustrous lips with his own.

"_It's hard loving a woman, a woman like me"_

"_(Woman like me)"_

Anyone could easily see Ghastly vying over the blonde woman on stage and Skulduggery drooling over the singer up the front but one would have to study Hopeless's face to see that his eyes shined with pure adoration for the porcelain woman with the jet-black hair. Her very petite body spoke volumes to him and those cerulean eyes seemed to wash over him making him feel positively refreshed.

'That woman is such a sight to behold, such a goddess in black leather and gold!' Hopeless thought to himself with a small smile that was hidden in the darkness.

"_You need to think about it"_

Skulduggery Pleasant's suddenly grew wide and ignited with a dangerous fire when the singer's lilac eyes locked onto his. Their eyes were transfixed on one another's and it felt like time stopped around them. The woman became aware that she was no longer performing to the crowd but rather, dedicating the song to the intriguing and handsome man seated at the table near the stage.

Against her better nature, she began to picture him getting out his chair and stalking towards her and joining her on stage. He'd take her hand, press his kissable lips to it and declare that he could love a woman like her. She wanted to shake her head of her thoughts but she couldn't interrupt her performance or rip her eyes away from the man's in the front row. He just seemed to be devouring her with his eyes. She had never seen such lust.

"_Before you get hooked on the venom"_

The woman gradually began to walk down the set of stairs at the front of the stage and Skulduggery watched as her impressive golden trail cascaded down the stairs after her. His eyes widened to a considerable amount when he realised she was heading towards him and he straightened up almost immediately. Before he knew it, her angelic body was standing in front of his seated form and she was bending down to his level. Her Jasmine and Sandalwood fragrance filled his head and his body went rigid with delight when she gracefully seated herself on his lap. Her legs were straddling his hips and his breath caught in his throat when she pressed her body to his. Gingerly, she placed the black microphone on the table after turning it off and refocused her attention back to him. There were so many things he wanted to say to her but his thoughts were silenced when she slowly leaned in and pressed her careful lips to his.

"_And can't live without it"_

"_(No, no)"_

The golden woman silently begged for a wider opening to Skulduggery's mouth by slightly opening hers. He complied willingly and slid his hands up her legs which made her shudder involuntarily in delight. The strokes of his hands on her legs made her skin ignite in goose-bumps and when he pressed his lips to her neck, electricity thundered up her spine making her arch her torso further into his. She sighed and ran her slender hands through his shaggy black hair. Skulduggery's velvet voice rumbled against her throat as he moaned in delight. He let his hands leave her legs to travel up and flatten themselves against her back. He clamped her body to his and groaned in pleasure when she rotated her hips against –

"_Can't believe everything you see"_

Her voice shocked Skulduggery out of his little daydream of himself and her. A small blush rose in his cheeks at his passionate thoughts and he was glad no one could read his mind.

"_It's hard loving a woman,"_

"_A woman like me"_

~To Be Continued…~

**Skulduggery: Damn, why did it have to be a daydream?**

**Valkyrie: Well we could go re-enact it right now if you want.**

**Skulduggery:… I'll meet you at your place in five.**

**FlawD: Good for you guys but before you go, you have something important to do!**

**Skulduggery & Valkyrie: Readers, please READ & REVIEW as it's your comments/constructive criticism that keeps FlawDiamonds writing more fanfiction! 'Till next time Valduggery fans! ;)**


	15. A Woman Like Me Pt II - Valduggery

~Valkyrie x Skulduggery~

**A/N: Thank you to ****gabi (guest) ****and ****NightcatMau ****for reviewing my last chapter, lots of hugs go to you both! :) **

**Valkyrie: FlawD doesn't own anything! As much as she'd like to own the Skulduggery Pleasant franchise and its characters, she doesn't. Which to be honest, I'm grateful for because she is like crazily in love with Skulduggery and she has these messed up fantasies about herself and him doing – **

**Skulduggery: I think that's enough Valkyrie, my dear! *eyes FlawDiamonds strangely* Anyway, FlawD has a few ideas for a Valpine chapter but she needs your reviews asking for it else she finds there is no need to write it. Always remember that she will always take your ideas and pairings that you have requested and write them for you!**

**FlawD: While you all are reading this chapter or reviewing/ favouriting/ following, I will be chasing down Valkyrie for spilling my valuable secret to Skulduggery and to everyone reading this -.-**

**Normal POV**

_A Woman Like Me – Beyoncé_

For weeks on end Skulduggery dreamed about seeing the woman from the Burlesque club again. She began to play on his mind every minute of the day and he swore he could still hear her melodic voice ring out through his ears. How badly he wanted to know her, to at least catch her name. He originally had plans to head back to Bella's Burlesque a few days after his first screening of her but Corrival Deuce had ordered them back to base due to a rumoured attack from enemies. Thankfully, no attack was ordered against them but nonetheless they had to be cautious and leaving the base was prohibited for a period of time. Today though, Corrival granted Skulduggery and a few other members of the Dead Men to go out and about for a while. Obviously, Skulduggery suggested they hit Bella's Burlesque and there were mostly nods and agreeing grunts. A few of the Dead Men decided to hang back at base though, which was fine with Skulduggery. He just wanted to get going to see his lilac-eyed performer.

So there Skulduggery was, walking down the street to the Burlesque club with Hopeless, Ghastly and Dexter in tow. Larrikin decided to stay back with Saracen, Ravel and Anton, much to Anton's horror.

Skulduggery glanced over to Hopeless who was flanking his left side. His curling brown hair had seemed to grow longer over the past weeks and it now hung a little below his ears. His rich burgundy suit fit nicely to his lean build and his shining yellow eyes glowed a brilliant sun-like hue. Skulduggery watched Hopeless reach up and adjust his jet black tie that was tucked underneath his suit jacket. Like Skulduggery, Hopeless liked to dress to impress and when they went places together, the pair were not unfamiliar to turning heads.

Skulduggery glanced down at his own midnight pinstripe suit complete with matching suit vest. Unlike Hopeless, Skulduggery let his suit jacket hang un-buttoned, enjoying the way it flapped against the backs of his arms as his hands were resting in his pant pockets. A simple crisp white suit shirt underneath his vest and a light cerulean tie tucked into his suit vest gave him an air of importance as it completed his proper look.

A glance back at Dexter and Ghastly though, showed that those two were slightly more laid back in their attire. Dexter sported a simple tight black t-shirt with dark grey suit pants. While Ghastly was a bit more formal, showing off his biceps and burly build in a tight cream suit shirt rolled up at the elbows with a deep emerald suit vest that was adorned with black buttons. Plain back suit pants hung nicely on his hips and the slight swagger to his walk made him seem a lot more intimidating than what he actually is.

Everyone was looking quite dapper and proper in their own attire as they made their way to their destination.

"You seem quite eager to get to Bella's Burlesque Skulduggery, did something catch your eye last time?" Ghastly inquired, knowing full-well that Skulduggery was attracted to the singer that was in the golden dress.

"I don't think something caught his eye Bespoke, I think _someone _made his heart jump into his throat!" Hopeless exclaimed! Earning laughs from Vex and Ghastly.

Eyebrows narrowed, Skulduggery feigned nonchalance. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh please! Don't pretend that you don't know what we're talking about Pleasant! If you don't have some sort of thing for that woman with the long dark hair and the violet eyes, then my taken name isn't Dexter Vex!"

"Don't worry Skulduggery, you're not the only one who found someone they're attracted too, I think I'm in love with the woman with the black hair and eyes that are a peculiar blue!"

Ghastly snorted, "You mean the back-up dancer and singer on the right? She is definitely pretty but nothing in comparison to the blonde one on the left!"

"Ooh Bespoke, do I sense someone set your heart aflutter too?"

"Skulduggery's has a point Ghastly, was that why you were grinning the whole way home from the last time we were here?" Skulduggery and Hopeless laughed at Ghastly blushing and Dexter did a re-enactment of his goofy smile.

"Whatever, we're here." Stated Ghastly, trying to change the subject. Everyone just smiled at each other knowingly before opening the door and heading inside.

At first, Skulduggery thought the woman with the lilac eyes was performing the same song again but when he looked up and saw no one on the stage he realised it was just a recording playing back through the speakers. A pang of disappointment hit his heart but he made sure to spur on. He followed Hopeless to their table before taking a seat. While the other Dead Men were talking, Skulduggery was caught up in his own thoughts.

'_Do you think, that I could be the one you seek'_

'Maybe I could send her flowers…that idea would only work though if I actually knew her name. Hmm, maybe if I could find the back stage room I could say that I'm a fan of hers and ask to see her, no, no that would be too forward.' His strong jaw leaned on his hand in deep thought. 'If I go back stage and run into another performer I could just ask them what that woman's name is… and then I could send her flowers of some sort.' Content with his plan, Skulduggery Pleasant leaned back into his chair while conversing with the Dead Men.

''_Cause baby I'm on step ahead'_

He turned his head up when a shadow of a person was cast over his face. He saw a familiar waitress there with a smile on her face.

"Hello again. Aren't you the gentlemen that were here a little while back?" Dexter and Hopeless smiled at Natalie's words and they nodded.

"Natalie wasn't it?" Vex offered.

"Yep. Say, there's less of you this time 'round. Your charming friend here at all?" Hopeless snickered and was rewarded with a glare from Ghastly. They all knew who she was talking about and they all felt bad for her. She was another of Erskine's victims where he takes what he wants and then leaves without a word of good-bye or appreciation.

"Ahh, not this time Natalie, sorry. We'll tell him you said hello though, yes?" Skulduggery offered. She nodded with a smile that was desperately trying to cover up her disappointment.

As she was asking what everyone wanted for drinks again, Skulduggery caught sight of a certain woman that had been plaguing his mind for a very long time. A brief flash of her navy hair and sparkling eyes was all he needed to know it was her. He's never scrambled out of his chair faster. He quickly told Natalie what he'd like to order before excusing himself to go to the toilet. His shiny black shoes slapped against the wooden floor as he sped through the small crowd and occupied tables. He had seen her on the opposite side of the room looking worried as she hurried through the crowd of people before disappearing through a door he couldn't read.

'_You're two steps behind'_

He murmured a hushed apology to a man that he almost bowled over. When he glanced back though to see if the man got his apology, he just got shoved out of the way before the man ran ahead of him following the route that the violet-eyed woman did. The man looked incredibly suspicious, all clad in black and a permanent scowl on his face. And when the man's momentum sped up beneath his black jacket, Skulduggery caught the flash of a gleaming pistol. Eyes wide, Skulduggery trudged quickly after him. The man bolted through the same door the woman did and Skulduggery saw that it was named 'Staff Only'. That man was definitely not staff. Pushing it open with his shoulder, Skulduggery pulled out his own gun: 38 Smith and Wesson Revolver. His beautiful baby gleamed cheerfully, looking for some action and Skulduggery planned on giving it to him. He speedily turned the corner and looked down the small white hallway to see two other doors opposite each other at the end. Walking hastily, he checked the name on the door to his left, 'Dressing Room'. He could easily hear the rustling of clothing and high-pitched laughter of women as they talked about acts they did before and if they could borrow each other's make-up. By the sound of it, everything was all good in the 'Dressing Room'. So when he looked up and read, 'Fire Escape 2' on the other door he went straight for it and pushed it open.

'_But baby I don't mind'_

Straight away he came to a small steel platform before the fire escape started. Skulduggery quickly cast a glance down before his eyes narrowed deeply. He could see his lilac-eyed woman cowering in fear behind a huge dumpster while the clad in black man stalked around slowly with his gun in front of him.

"Come out my dear, I only want to talk." Skulduggery wanted to snort at the man's words but was careful not to because he hadn't drawn attention to himself yet. Very carefully, he slowly pushed the door shut behind him so only the faintest of 'click's' could be heard. A glance back told him the man hadn't heard the small noise.

'_Do you think, that I can make you real happy baby'_

A soft sob had escaped from the woman's mouth and the sound caught the man's attention immediately. He began to stalk towards to the dumpster. Skulduggery hoisted himself over the fire escape barrier speedily and used magic to slow his descent. His feet landed with a thud and the man whipped around so fast Skulduggery though he might have hurt his neck.

"Who are you!?" The man sneered with a gravelly voice.

'_Just don't get me wrong'_

"Skulduggery Pleasant. Now what business do you have around Bella's Burlesque fire escape and dumpster?"

"It is none of your concern Mr Pleasant. I suggest you leave now, else you'll have no choice but to get involved in my business." He aimed his gun at Skulduggery's chest.

"Well in that case, I guess I'll stick around." A fireball was thrown the man's way before he ducked and he shot at Skulduggery who rolled out of the way, closer to the dumpster, before firing back with a few shots of his own. A loud whine came from the man and his other hand covered up the gun wound that was now in his left shoulder. This enraged the man further and several shots were fired in Skulduggery's direction. A duck here and a swift dodge there and some magic deflecting the bullets and Skulduggery and gotten out of that case pretty much unscathed except for the fact there was now a bullet hole in the bottom of his suit jacket.

"Damn," He muttered to himself before charging at the man. Skulduggery faked a punch so the man ducked and then he was met with Skulduggery's knee in his face. Skulduggery made a quick follow up by grabbing the man's gun and tossing it away before he could use it. He snatched his wrist and bent it behind the man's back until he heard the man protest for him to stop. Skulduggery let his elbow slam down into the man's shoulder which forced him to stagger and fall to his knees. Gun cocked and pressed against the back of the man's neck, Skulduggery demanded what he was doing going after one of the performers of Bella's Burlesque.

'_My loving is so strong, but I ain't trying to lead you on'_

"Bella owes me money. I asked her for the money but she said she didn't have it and that she'll get it to me later. I told her that I needed it this second because I owed my drug dealer cash. When she told me again that I was going to have to wait, I went after the first performer of hers that I saw. I thought that if I killed her and probably a few others that she would finally pay me."

Skulduggery stilled.

"You know, you could possibly be the dumbest person I've ever met. Your pathetic logic of getting your money makes no sense. Going after innocent women who have done nothing to you sickens me, Bella is a woman who keeps her word as well sir and you have failed to recognise that and dug your own trenches with your drug dealer. I'd kill you right this second if it wasn't a waste of a bullet, so instead I'll be generous and knock you out and chuck you in the dumpster. By the way sir, if I ever see you again, I will kill you. Well, with that out of the way it's time for you to be knocked out!" Skulduggery said gleefully. A cheery smile was plastered on his face as he delivered a powerful blow to the back of the man's head before slamming his head into the ground for good measure.

'_You need to stop for a minute'_

Skulduggery picked the man up carelessly and dropped him in the half-filled dumpster.

"That oughtta do it." Skulduggery said to himself while dusting his hands off. He trotted over to the back of the dumpster where he bent down and offered his hand to the woman still cowering behind it.

"You can come out now, dear. The man who was after you is knocked out in the dumpster." At his voice, the woman tilted her head up and looked at Skulduggery. Her frightened tears had ruined her mascara and eyeliner horribly and now her eyes were tinged with red and puffy. To Skulduggery though, she was still so pretty. She timidly took his soft hand and Skulduggery pulled her closer to his body. His emerald eyes cast a glance down at her shivering body that was covered in goose-bumps. The leather leotard that she wore did nothing to keep her warm so Skulduggery, being a gentleman, offered her his jacket. She accepted it eagerly while whispering a hoarse 'Thank you.'

'_Before you get too deep up in it'_

Her soft voice struck a chord with Skulduggery and he looked at her with soft eyes.

"Is there anything I can do to repay you? I mean, it's not every day a handsome man comes to my rescue." The woman pointed out, now a bit more comfortable with her surroundings. She smiled up at the man with shaggy black hair and glittering emerald eyes.

"Your name," Skulduggery said before he could stop himself.

"I'm sorry?"

''_Cause everything ain't what it seems'_

"Your name, what is it?"

"Valkyrie, Valkyrie Cain. Pleasure to meet you…Skulduggery, was it?" She stuck her hand out. Skulduggery almost ignored the gesture though because when her voice said his name he wanted to claim her lips with his right there and then.

"Yes. I assure you the pleasure's all mine." Skulduggery shook her hand they fit together like a glove.

"I'm sure I've seen you before, you were here at my first performance weren't you?" At her words, Skulduggery's visions of her body all over his flashed back to him and he wanted to shy away in embarrassment. It was a good thing she didn't know what went on in his head.

"I believe I was. You were superb by the way. I've never heard such a voice…or seen such a beautiful woman either…" Skulduggery shook his head in horror once he had realised what he had said. Valkyrie's eyes went wide before she smiled and chuckled softly.

"Thank you, I have to say, I've never seen a man quite like you before. You're very handsome." She admitted with a touch of blush rising up in her cheeks. Skulduggery wanted to laugh at the position they were in. Both standing there, blushing like idiots.

"Anyway, I should probably get back inside. I'm pretty sure I have to on soon. Thank you again, for saving me." Valkyrie said quietly before pressing her luminous lips to Skulduggery's cheek. In quick succession though, Skulduggery pressed his lips to hers. His heart swelled before he realised what he was doing. He pulled away from her abruptly, opening his mouth to apologise.

"I-I'm sorry, I do-don't –"

"Shh, just get back here." Valkyrie said before pulling on Skulduggery's tie and bringing his lips back down to hers. He tasted like fresh rain and smelt like blossoming trees covered in the white winter. His lips slipped seamlessly over hers and she wrapped her slender arms around his neck when he cupped her face with his large hands. She tasted like citrus and smelt of shifting sands hitting the deep ocean in the golden summer time. They breathed each other in and Valkyrie pressed her body against Skulduggery's just like how he had envisioned it. Their lips locked and their bodies so close to one another's was pure ecstasy. Summer and Winter collided and neither stopped the change.

'_It's hard loving a woman like me, a woman like me_

_You need to think about it, before you get hooked on the venom_

_And can't live without it'_

~END~

**Skulduggery: Read and Review ladies and gentlemen! **

**Valkyrie: Keep in mind FlawDiamonds will always take your pairings/songs/ideas you'd like to see related to these fics!**


	16. Time - Valpine

~Valkyrie x Serpine~

**A/N: Here is the long awaited Valpine chapter! Big, Big, BIG thank you goes to DarkAntidote for suggesting the song for this fic! **

**Skulduggery: Thank you to all those that have reviewed! :D**

**Valkyrie: Remember that you can always send FlawD suggestions/ songs/ ideas/ pairings that you would like to see in these fics! :)**

**Serpine: Please keep reviewing my lads & lovely's! ;) x**

'**Dream Meeting (5)'**

**Normal POV**

_Time (Queensway Remix) – Chase & Status_

'_If you can find the time'_

Valkyrie sat there, ankles crossed together as she watched a re-run of the Golden Girls. She sang along to the theme song, blushing when she realised she knew all the words. She laughed at all the sly jokes and when Blanche had once again found a new man. She stretched her tired arms and gave a long yawn, feeling that it might've been time for a nap. As she went to go stretch out on Skulduggery's couch she heard the door open. She knew it was Skulduggery but she jumped when the door slammed, hard. Her eyebrows knotted together and she went to go see what was wrong. She heard the familiar jingle of Skulduggery's keys plonk on the hall table but just as she rounded the corner, Skulduggery whipped around and grabbed her.

"Skulduggery what's wrong –"

"Did you think I wouldn't find out!?" He screamed at her while forcefully pushing back into the wall.

Valkyrie struggled in his grip. What was wrong with him? What did he mean!?

"Skulduggery, what are you talking about?"

"Don't "Skulduggery" me Valkyrie. You know exactly what I'm talking about!"

'_To give your love to me'_

"Get off me Skul, you're hurting me!" Valkyrie pleaded. There was no denying it, she was truly frightened of Skulduggery right now.

"Oh! I'm hurting you!? What about you hurting me! Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to hear you calling _his _name out during the night!?"

Realisation dawned on Valkyrie and as she watched Skulduggery in despair, her heart cracked and shattered. 'HOW!?' Her mind screamed at her. 'How did he find out!?'

"It used to be _my _name Val, _my _name that you used to call out during the night. What about all the times I'd check on you to find you searching for me in your sheets. Did you ever stop to think about all the times I've held you when you cried!? Has he ever done that for you!?"

"Skuldug-Skulduggery, p-pl-please. I don't know wha-what you're ta-talking abo-about." Valkyrie sobbed, tasting the salt in her own tears.

'_I will wait for you, if that's all you need'_

She prayed this was all some sick joke. That was some twisted dream she had concocted and that if she held her eyes shut really tight, it would float away. If Skulduggery knew about her and Serpine, she wouldn't know what to do. How could she know what to do in this situation?

"Serpine, Val! Does that clear it up for you now!?" Skulduggery yelled with disgust dripping from his velvet voice.

Well, today was Valkyrie's lucky day wasn't it?

"I'm sorry, I'm-I'm so sorry. Skul, pl-please…"

"You're sorry? That's all you have to say!?"

"Well, what do you want me to say Skulduggery!?"

"Say that it's not true. That Finbar was wrong! That he was just speaking nonsense. Say that when Finbar told me that you had fallen in love with a dark spirit that he was actually talking about me! Stand here and tell me that you don't love him, tell me that you haven't been having some sort of 'Dream Meeting' with him every night. Say it Val, say that it's me you actually dream of every night and I'll believe you."

'_If you can find the time'_

Skulduggery's words just made Valkyrie want to bang her head on a sharp object. It was like he was accusing her yet admitting his love for her all at the same time. He left her surprised, slightly happy yet depressed and angry all at the same time. How could he do this to her? No, that wasn't fair on Skulduggery and she knew it. It was her fault that she fell in love with Nefarian, there was no one else to blame.

"If I tell you that Skulduggery, it won't be true. Do you still want me to recite your words?" She said softly, barely above a whisper.

Skulduggery Pleasant slumped forward, resting his forehead on Valkyrie's. Why her? Why did she have to fall in love with Serpine? It could've been Tanith, even Valkyrie's reflection, heck it could've even been Ghastly for heaven's sake to fall in love with Nefarian. It could've been anyone, but her.

A slow shake of his head made fresh tears pour over Valkyrie's face. He couldn't have just said yes and make things easier on the both of them could he? Even if they both knew it would have been a lie, they could at least salvage some of their friendship.

"Why him, Val? What can he give to you that I can't? Besides the fact that he has a fully functioning body and I don't. What does he give you?"

'_If you're ever free'_

"It's not that he gives me anything Skulduggery, it's what he takes from me. He takes me as I am, even though he knows I'm your partner and best friend. He doesn't care about the danger and the risks being in love with me has, he just wants to be with me. To talk, to laugh, to hold. Do you know Mr Pleasant, just how long I was in love with you for? Since the first day I met you I knew you were special, that you would protect and defend me until the day I died. It used to be you that I dreamed of, I can't even remember how many days I thought about kissing your teeth or caressing your skeleton. Twice, I told you I love you Skulduggery and each time you just laughed it off with a ruffle of my hair and a flick on the forehead. After that I stopped trying, after all, your response to my confessions left me feeling stupid and broken."

"Oh Val, I didn't realise. I thought you were just saying those things as my best friend. If I had read all the signs, would things be different right now? If I had let you know that I returned your love, would we be kissing right now instead of fighting?"

Valkyrie thought long and hard about it. She could seriously remember all the times he'd walk in the door, greet her and say that he missed her. He'd buy her flowers as a surprise gift and catch her with kisses at random moments. There would be days that they'd go on a case together and after they caught the bad guy they'd make love in the back of his Bentley.

'_Just drop me a line and tell me where you'll be'_

But now, now when she tried to envision it, Skulduggery kept turning into Serpine. Skulduggery's bony gloved hand kept turning into Nefarian's right-hand one. Skulduggery's favourite fedora kept melting into Serpine's hair and Skulduggery's skeletal frame kept filling with working organs and tanned skin. When Skulduggery leaned in to peck her cheek and whisper in her ear that he missed her, all Valkyrie could picture was Serpine leaning in and saying, "Next time, I'm bringing you with me my dear."

'_I'll be right here, if you can find the time, just be sincere'_

Saddened at the realisation, Valkyrie gave a short shake of her raven-haired head. With a growl, Skulduggery pushed off her to whip around and punch a hole through the wall behind me.

"How could you betray me like this!?"

"I can't help that I'm in love with him Skulduggery! For heaven's sake, if I had had it my way, you would've realised my love for you years ago! But you can't choose these things Skul, you know that. I'm sorry that it had to be him, I really am. This must be so hard for you to hear. But even saying that, I wouldn't change my love for Serpine for anything."

'_If you can find the time'_

A hoarse sob came from Skulduggery's entity and Valkyrie wanted to go down on her knees and beg for forgiveness right there and then.

'_I'll wait for you'_

"I'm sorry Val, but I'm not ready to be okay with this. So let me ask you this, out of me and Nefarian, who would you pick?"

"Wha-What!? In what way am I "picking" you guys?"

'_But if you can't find the time'_

Skulduggery shrugged while pulling his arm of the hole he made.

"Just to have in your life, it's either me or him Valkyrie. So take your pick."

Despair coursed through Valkyrie's heart and veins and she felt herself get short of breath.

"Don't do this Skulduggery, don't make me choose. That's not fair!"

'_Then cut me loose'_

"Neither is you falling in love with the man that killed myself and my family. Pick Valkyrie."

Val reached out to Skulduggery to hold onto him but he side-stepped her grab and stepped closer to the door.

"Skulduggery -!"

"Choose Val!"

''_Cause I don't have the time'_

So many tears spilt over Valkyrie's eyes that she felt like she was swimming in her sadness and despair. What Skulduggery was asking her to do was impossible. She loved Serpine so much that her heart threatened to pop just at the thought of him. When her eyes closed and her mind recalled the countless times he'd touched and caressed her skin the more desperation begged her not to make this decision. The general's every word and whisper rang out as though she was hearing it all for the first time. Every time his lips touched hers she wanted to collapse into his love. Her last thought of Serpine was when they first made love and during their intimacy, he had whispered that he loved her. Valkyrie had never felt so complete in her life. The silky feeling of his naked skin on hers and the sensation of their bodies as one couldn't compare to his whispering that he loved her. Being without him would obliterate and destroy Valkyrie. But being without Skulduggery would kill her indefinitely.

'_And I don't have the patience'_

How could she give up her best friend when they've loved and been with each other for so many years? Their bond was irreplaceable. No other could compare to their friendship.

'_What do you take me for?'_

'But Serpine…' her mind wandered.

'_Why must I wait?'_

Knowing full-well who she'd choose, Valkyrie felt her hands shake. Either way, she was destined for unimaginable pain.

''_Cause while you decide'_

One shaky breath.

Another shaky breath.

'_I'm fucking dying inside'_

"…you."

Time froze. Valkyrie felt her heart close. Skulduggery couldn't believe who she chose.

''_Cause if you can't find the time'_

"You chose…me?" Skulduggery said breathlessly. He had never been in such a state of shock.

'_My bleeding heart won't make it'_

"Yes…" Valkyrie said slowly, not quite trusting herself to keep her voice from breaking.

Skulduggery slowly walked forwards before ever so softly placing his teeth against her forehead.

"I'll always love you Val, never forget that. I'll call you later but for now, I'll let you be." His voice was so soft and careful, it seemed like the slightest breeze would break her. He'd made her do the impossible. She deserved a minute or two.

While Valkyrie still had the chance, she wrapped her hands around Skulduggery's skeletal frame. She would always choose him, not matter what. But he obviously didn't realise just how deep her love for Serpine ran. Because nothing was going to stop them from meeting each other time and time again in their 'Dream Meetings'. That was their time and the place they'd truly fallen in love and no person or skeleton was going to forbid her from seeing him.

"My dear, you made quite the decision today didn't you?" Valkyrie's eyes snapped open at the sound of Serpine's voice.

"How do you know about that?" She questioned. She looked over to him and saw utterly sad he looked perched on the end of her bed.

"You dreamed of it."

"Come here Nefarian, I need you." She coaxed softly. When his eyes snapped up to meet hers, they swirled with need and eagerness.

She watched his body climb up to meet hers and when he got comfortable, she rested her head against his chest. It felt so good to hear his heart-beat again, to have her arms around his waist like he had his around hers.

"Although I am distraught at your decision, I'm proud of you."

Valkyrie's head whipped up at him, looking at him incredulously. "Really?"

"Yes, love. You remained true to the one that had always been there for you. I know you hold dear love for me as I for you, but I also know that you and Skulduggery have a bond that I cannot even get close to. But to me, that's okay because you and I have a _very _different set of bonds."

"I love you."

"What was that my dear?"

"I love you. There's nothing else to it. Skulduggery wonders why I'm with you, he doesn't understand and I don't think he ever will. But that's okay because we understand, right?"

"Right. I honestly can say I've never been with a woman this way before Valkyrie. Every day I thank the heaven's for blessing me with such a courageous woman. I love you my dear, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

They stared into each other's eyes, grinning like mad-men. The kiss was expected and everything that it always was. There was that hauntingly beautiful rapture of promised resolutions to love one another until the day they got too lost in each other's entities. To them, there was so much loving left to do, with more than enough Time.

~END~

**Skulduggery: Why does nobody love me :'( /3**

**FlawD: …..I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE. **

**Serpine: I'm such a handsome devil.**

**Valkyrie: I seem to get around with a lot of people. Great. -_-**

**FlawD: So Skulduggery, are you going to give the audience an important reminder? :) 3**

**Skulduggery: *puts arm around FlawDiamonds* Sure thing FlawD. Always remember that you can send FlawDiamonds requests of any specific songs you want used, any pairings you'd like to see more of and any ideas you'd like to see happen! :D**

**FlawD: *faints***

**Serpine & Valkyrie: READ & REVIEW lads and ladies! :D :D x**


	17. Wicked Game - Ravelyrie

~Valkyrie x Erskine~

**A/N: IMPORTANT! I****'****ve decided after much consideration that I will be accepting ANY and EVERY request for any pairing! :D I will be putting the pairings that are NOT related to the pairings in Collection Of Songfics into a separate collection of drabbles/pairings. If you have any questions or anything, just leave a review or drop me PM and I****'****ll get back to you! Xx**

**Ravel: FlawDiamonds doesn****'****t own Skulduggery Pleasant or any of its characters, she just borrows us from time-to-time****…****especially Skulduggery, don****'****t know why that is though****…**

**Valkyrie: ****…**** Let****'****s not go there. Anyway, FlawD would just like to remind you all to request many pairings that you****'****d like to see happen or simply request a song/idea/pairing for Collection Of Songfics! :)**

**FlawD: Here is some Ravelyrie, don****'****t ya think Ravelyrie sounds cool? Sounds like rivalry, ooooh****…**

**Ravel: FlawD would just like to quickly send out a little message to Derek Landy: Dear Mr Landy, if you fail in the task of presenting the readers with Valduggery in the last book I will either personally kill you or turn around and start shipping the totally cute Scapegrace x Thrasher and they will become my OTP. Thank you. By the way, if you kill either of them off I****'****ll set my collection/collectables of Skulduggery Pleasant on fire and chuck all my books in a can of petrol then spit in it then light a match and chuck it in and have my own little bonfire. **

**FlawD: *coughs* Yes, well, now that I****'****ve gotten that off my chest, where****'****s that drat of a skeleton disappeared off to now?**

**Ravel POV**

_Wicked Game __–__ Chris Isaak_

'_The world was on fire and no one could save me but you__'_

I watched her muscled form stroll into my dull office. I waited for the familiar ache in my heart to appear at the mere sight of her and I felt my palms become slick with sweat. Slowly, I gestured her to take a seat at my desk. She nodded and smiled at me and I felt my heart pick up pace. I couldn't really say why I was so hung up on Valkyrie Cain, I'd had plenty of women in my life time and I'm positive I'd have plenty more but the only woman I truly wanted, was Valkyrie. Maybe it was the fact that I knew Skulduggery pined after her as her for him and that created a challenge for me. I wanted to swing her over and take her for myself.

'_It__'__s strange what desire will make foolish people do__'_

She flicked her black hair over her shoulder while looking at me expectantly. I knew it was my turn to speak, but I was lost in the way her slightly glossed lips formed letters and words. Her confident voice carried over to my expectant ears and it wasn't until then that I'd realised she had said my name.

"Erskine, what's up?"

Oh, her voice and my name were a wicked combination. My desire for her grew at the thought of me making her not only say my name, but scream it.

"Valkyrie, I called you in here to discuss what's happening with Skulduggery right now," that's it Erskine, speak with concern and clarity.

She looked deep in thought and all I wanted to be was the one occupying those thoughts.

"He's off on a new case, you know that. You issued the case remember?" She smiled at me with a slight shimmer in her violet eyes. Of course I remembered issuing the case for Skulduggery. It played a part in my plan to spend more time with Valkyrie and have her all to myself.

"Yes, of course. That's all well but how are you coping without him? He's your best friend Valkyrie, everyone knows that you guys are rarely apart."

"I'm okay, really. Yes we're best friends and I miss him but he's only away for a couple of weeks, I think I'll survive Erskine," she finished with a chuckle. I joined her in her laugh and we had settled into a peaceful silence.

"So Erskine, how's the position of 'Grand Mage' been treating you?" I stared at her lips as they formed a cheeky smirk and I felt my body flush in a passionate heat. The woman was going to be the death of me.

"To be honest, not very well. I'm just so tired all the time and there just seems to be more and more sheets of paper work to constantly do, I can't keep up sometimes."

"Oh Erskine, you're doing fine! You've shaped up to being a lovely Grand Mage. Obviously other Sanctuaries would beg to differ but to me, you're one of the best." A flirtatious wink of hers was sent my way and I just wanted to pass out because of the stern hunger I was getting for her was eating me from the inside-out. No other woman had this effect on me, what was so different about Valkyrie Cain!? I don't think I'll ever even come close to finding out.

'_I never dreamed that I__'__d meet somebody like you__'_

Her chest heaved in a sympathetic sigh and my attention was draw to the small amount of cleavage she was sporting. 'Maybe if I were to just reach over…' I mentally shook my head of such thoughts trailing off. 'Get a hold of yourself Ravel!' My mind ordered. I wanted to scowl at my own thoughts but I didn't want my behaviour to concern Valkyrie.

"I can level with you on being tired all the time. I admit, I'm lucky enough to have Skulduggery to do all the boring paperwork," her expression turned serene at the mention of Ireland's favourite skeleton, "but saving the world constantly takes a toll, as you can imagine."

I nodded at her words with a sad smile on my face. The young woman had already been through so much and as good as she was at hiding it, sometimes her own personal façade would slip and the trauma she had to face every day would show through. What I wouldn't give to just have one night with her, one night where I could just make her forget everything except for the fact she was a woman and I, a man. I'd get her to throw everything out the window except for her primal instincts. My body shuddered greatly at the thought.

'_And I never dreamed that I__'__d lose somebody like you__'_

Lilac eyes swept up to meet my own cerulean ones. She seemed to have a knowing glimmer in her irises that left me concerned. What if she knew? What if this whole time she'd been reading my thoughts and I sat here completely oblivious? I grew hot under the collar and for the millionth time, I cursed these stupid Grand Mage robes. If she had an idea though, of what I was thinking, was she aware of her little flirtatious actions? Was she conscious of the way she twisted her body towards his, giving him a better angle of her cleavage? Did she know the dangerous effect she was having on him? She had to, didn't she?

Suddenly, a bored expression took over her face. "Let's cut to the chase Erskine Ravel, I know you want me," A devious look of trouble over-took the bored expression that rested on her beautiful face second's before-hand.

My eyes grew wide at her declaration. How did the nice atmosphere change so drastically with just a few words? My alert heart was beating erratically and it seemed to pound in my ears.

"Ah, what? Why – how? – Valkyrie, I…don't – um," I stammered uselessly. 'Yeah, that's a good way to feign nonchalance,' my mind drawled sarcastically.

'_No I don__'__t want to fall in love,__'_

'_No I don__'__t want to fall in love,__'_

She pushed herself up from the chair she was seated on and placed her palms flat on top of my desk. I gazed up at her form staring down at me.

'_With you__'_

"Stop it Erskine, we both know what's going on in that little attractive head of yours," so she could read my mind then, "didn't you think word wouldn't get around? I've heard stories Ravel, stories that the oh-so-wonderful Grand Mage of Ireland has a bit of desire for Detective Skulduggery Pleasant's partner in crime. And do you know who Skulduggery's partner in crime is Ravel? Of course you do, because you think about her all the time. You wonder if you'll ever be able to get your hands on her, have her skin underneath yours. Am I right?" Every sentence she spoke, she leered closer and closer to my face and an audible gulp rose from my throat.

"How do you know all this!? Who told you?" She smirked down at me and purred at my reaction.

"I figured it was true. From the first day I met you I knew you were attracted to me. Oh Erskine, you've been a very bad Grand Mage for pining after something that belongs to the Great Skeleton Detective." She mockingly scolded me.

'Do something Ravel, take her lips with yours. Get that physical connection you've so desperately thrived for upon meeting her!'

My lips quivered as she began to smile deviously, as if planning what her next course of action would be.

"Let's get back to square one," she began, "You want me. But my question is Grand Mage, what's stopping you from taking me?" My heart and healthy blood flow to my head stopped and ran straight to my groin. Huh, I guess men really _do _think with their-well, y'know…

'_What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way__'_

"I don't…know…" I said slowly. At my response, she harshly gripped the neck-line of my robe and pulled my face close to hers. Nose-to-nose I stared up at her with only lust shining in my eyes.

"I'll answer the question for you then," she leaned in and at first I thought she was going to kiss me but then she moved past my lips to my ear and whispered, "_nothing,__"_ At that one word my body came crashing down on hers. My lips met with her sweet ones and ensued a passionate make-out session. She tasted of only the sweetest honey and only of the ripest mangoes. A combination that left my mind reeling. My hands slid up her arms, neck and shoulders to reach up and cup her slender jaw. My own stupid bloody desk though wasn't allowing me to press my body forcefully against hers. I grunted in frustration and she smiled against my lips.

'_What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you__'_

Carefully, she began to climb on top of my desk while shoving things out of the way in one clean sweep. Soon enough she had clambered onto my desk and now had her legs hanging either side of my body. Our lip-lock never breaking, I squished our two entities together as hard as possible, mentally congratulating myself when I heard her moan in pleasure. Her hands began to roam over my robe-covered body freely and I jumped in shock when I felt her slender hands grasp at my butt. She laughed at my reaction and I smiled along with her enjoying the light-heartedness in the steamy moment.

I tugged on her bottom lip with my teeth and let my hands softly trail down her slim neck and let them begin to trace her collarbone. Her skin was washed over with a wave of goose-bumps at my touch and I smirk against her mouth. Just as my hands trailed down her neck, I let my lips do the same, making sure to leave a reminding mark on her skin. She purred appreciatively and I was enraptured in the sound. She grasped at my shoulders and her nails dug in slightly when my white teeth nipped at the sensitive skin below her earlobe.

'_What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way__'_

She made my mouth climb back up to hers and in return I fully merged out bodies to meet flush with one another. Chest against chest, hip against hip, groin against groin. My fingers running through her silk-like hair while our mouths said a lengthy 'hello' to each other, she tasted wonderful, she _was _wonderful.

'_What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you, and__'_

We were both near our breaking point, near the point where this was no longer going to be just a hot make-out session. She knew it, I knew it, if we both knew it, then shouldn't we do something about it? My hands traced intricate patterns down her body as they made their way to her black jeans Ghastly made for her. My hands hooked themselves into the jeans' loopholes and Valkyrie pressed her head into my neck while peppering it with kisses. I felt her open her mouth to say something and I paused, listening intently. I thought she was going to make some sweet declaration of undying love for me but instead she shouted my name.

'_I want to fall in love__'_

"Erskine!" Her annoyed voice made me jump in awareness. I looked at her slightly concerned yet slightly ticked-off expression. She was staring at me in question. I looked away from her quickly as I blushed at my daydream.

"Uh, yes Valkyrie? What's going on?" She looked crest-fallen at my question.

"What's going on!? You asked me to come into your office and we were talking like usual and then I asked you if I could stay with you for a while since Skulduggery was gone and then you just shut down and started to like, stare into space. I've been calling you name and trying to get you to snap out of it for the past ten minutes. I was about to call for the medics! You scared me half to death Erskine!" She explained, out of breath.

My mind was struggling to comprehend what she was telling me. 'I was daydreaming for ten minutes! How embarrassing, Valkyrie must think I'm crazy!' I paled at the thought and re-focused my attention to the powerful mage across from me.

'_No, I want to fall in love, with you__'_

"I'm – I'm sorry, I didn't even realise. Aha, sorry to give you a shock, I don't know what came over me," I laughed nervously before continuing, "and um, of course you can stay with Val. I have no objections to you wondering around naked at my place either," I added in cheekily, trying to return to my flirtatious old self. She relaxed at my flirting and laughed.

"I knew I should've asked Ghastly!" She joked.

"Well, it's too late now isn't it? Come with me Val, I'll get us coffee." She smiled at my offer and nodded. We both got out of our chairs and I made my way over to her holding my arm out for her to take. We walked to my office door arm-in-arm before she let go so I could lock the door. She walked a little further ahead before turning around and smiling at me expectantly.

"You keep going, I'll be right behind you." I called out. She nodded and made her way down the hall. I kept smiling at her until she rounded the corner and as soon as she did I let my head fall forward and banged my head on the door.

'You idiot, that whole time you were daydreaming, you actually thought it was her.' I told myself.

As I walked off to catch up to Valkyrie, I talked to myself under my breath.

"It's no fun when the dream isn't real," I muttered, "what a Wicked Game."

~END~

**Ravel: Just reminding everyone to send FlawD any pairings they****'****d want her to write! She is accepting any and every pairing, so get suggesting if you want. She****'****s going to write them in the order she gets them though, so be quick if you want to see your pairing quickly! :D**

**Valkyrie: FlawD thanks all the readers and reviewers as always! Remember to always REVIEW if you have the time! :)**

**Skulduggery: Hey, I wasn****'****t in this fic!**

**FlawD: Well, now you are! :D**

**Skulduggery: Honestly FlawD, what would I do without you?**

**FlawD: You do a lot without me already. I****'****m just pretending that you know I exist, I****'****m also pretending that you, yourself, actually exist. Oh, the things I would do and say to you if you existed****…**** :(**

**Skulduggery: What type of things would you do and say to me?**

**FlawD: Well first I****'****d slap you across the head and demand why you aren****'****t in a relationship with Valkyrie yet and then I****'****d kiss you and say it****'****s okay you****'****re not with her because then you can be with me! *grins evilly***

**Valkyrie: ****…**

**Erskine: ****…**** so that****'****s why you always slink off with Skulduggery****…**

**Skulduggery: ****…**** I****'****ll have to keep that in mind FlawD****…**

**FlawD: *coughs* Um, just remember to send me pairings, songs and review and review and review! Heh, don****'****t mind me****…****just sitting here****…****writing fanfiction for you all****…****and fantasising about being married to Skulduggery Pleasant****…****don****'****t look at me like that! I****'****m normal, honest! xD**


	18. I Just Can't Stop Loving You - Dexkyrie

~Valkyrie x Dexter~

**A/N: Another collaboration with the wonderful NightcatMau! Check out her stories guys – they're brilliant! Thank you to those who have favourited/followed/reviewed and have sent suggestions! You guys are all really wonderful and I love reading your reviews, they make me sososososo happy! Also, for the guest that suggested Valkyrie x Hansard, your pairing will be spinning up next chapter! :) xx**

**Valkyrie: No one reads these anyways.**

**FlawD: In that case…*grabs Skulduggery and kisses him***

**Skulduggery: Um – yes, well *clears non-existent throat* that was – uh – hmm, interesting?**

**FlawD: Oh please, don't pretend you didn't like it. Honestly Skulduggery, when was the last time you had any action?**

**Skulduggery: …I refuse to answer that question.**

**FlawD: What's it been Skul? Two? Three…hundred?**

**Skulduggery: …Where's my most loyal combat accessory when I need her!?**

**Valkyrie: *laughing head off* FlawD - *laughs* doesn't o-own any-*laughs* thing!**

**FlawD: If you want to see me torment Skulduggery some more, please read and review! :D xx**

**Normal POV**

_I Just Can't Stop Loving You – Michael Jackson_

Valkyrie relaxed onto the couch while cramming her face with Cheezels. She was so classy. That wonderful orange flavouring all over her fingers with that beautiful texture of Cheezel crumbs all around her face. Not to mention the delicately arranged crumbs all over her top as well. She truly was a magnificent sight to behold. She was enjoying her time lazing about while watching her favourite TV show: F-R-I-E-N-D-S. Currently playing was the greatest season (in her opinion), season 3. She was just so hooked on this show! She sat there smiling and chuckling at all the jokes before snuggling her head into the armchair of the couch.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

'_Each time the wind blows,_

_I hear your voice so…'_

Valkyrie awoke from her slumber when she heard the front door close. She suspected it was just Skulduggery so she let her eyes close again. She sighed contently and heard footsteps carrying a body to the lounge room, where she was resting.

"Honey?" A familiar voice asked softly. Valkyrie's eyes sprang open at the sound of the man's voice and she sat upright in quick succession. She smiled up at Dexter Vex as he followed suit and grinned at her. Valkyrie's jean-covered legs swung themselves over the front of the couch and supported her upper body as she stood. Vex closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hey," Valkyrie whispered softly to him.

"I missed you today," Vex told her while leaning forward and kissing her neck.

"Really? It doesn't seem like it," she feigned sadness. Her impatient fingers trailed up his torso – which left him shivering for more.

"I could always show you how much I missed you," he growled out next to her ear. She shuddered in delight before leaning back and patting his chest.

'_I call your name,_

_Whispers at morning'_

"Don't worry Vex, I believe you." She chuckled at him before turning to go into the kitchen. He snagged her wrist though and pulled her body towards his. Her torso met with his and her toes were flush with his boots.

"Vex, what are you –"

"Let me re-phrase what I said, I want to show you how much I missed you," he purred against her skin as soon as his lips touched her collarbone.

"Oh, Dexter –"

"Wait, let me try again hmm? I'm _going _to show you how much I missed you. Now bring your lips to mine woman!" He demanded happily. Valkyrie's pink lips twisted into a grin and she obeyed his orders without question.

'_Our love is dawning,_

_Heaven's glad you came…'_

Valkyrie and Vex's lips met and both moaned into the kiss. He tasted like rich, well-blended coffee whereas she tasted like…

"Have you been eating Cheezels?" Vex asked as he pulled back to look at her with a raised eyebrow. Valkyrie's face went red with embarrassment and she glanced down at her fingers which were covered in the cheesy flavouring. Upon the realisation, it dawned on her that she had trailed her fingers up Vex's top so that meant…

"Holy crap! I've gotten cheezel flavouring all over your t-shirt Vex! I'm so sorry, I'll go wash up and get something to clean up your shirt, um, this is so embarr-" Valkyrie's little apology was cut off by her partner's lips on hers. His large hands cupped her face and Valkyrie felt like she was melting in his sweet embrace. Vex's fingers fell from her face and began the descent down her arms and encircled her wrists. He pulled his head back from hers as he brought her left hand up towards his mouth. His sparkling clay-coloured eyes never left her swirling brown ones as he pressed a tentative kiss to her knuckles.

'_You know how I feel,_

_This thing can't go wrong'_

Valkyrie made her hand ball into a fist, she didn't want Vex seeing her hands covered in delicious orange flavouring and crunchy crumbs! Vex's eyes lit up with amusement as he smiled at Valkyrie's action.

"Now, now, Valkyrie," he said seductively as he pushed her index finger out in the open for him to see. He didn't glance down at her finger, instead he stared at her before slowly letting his mouth enclose over it. Her face flushed red again at his action. He could taste the sweet flavouring on her slender fingers just like he had tasted it on her wonderfully gorgeous lips. One by one he licked and sucked the cheezel flavouring off of her fingers while her watched her face burn up more and more after each finger had been "cleaned". He gently let go of her hands and stepped back. She looked at him in silent question.

"Now that you're fingers are clean, I'll have to do something about this shirt," he gestured to the tight black top he was wearing. She blinked in recognition before nodding at him.

"Oh, right, of course! Um, I'll just get – " Valkyrie stopped talking abruptly when she saw Vex's hands grip the bottom of his t-shirt. She watched as he made quite a show of slowly shedding the material from his skin. Every inch of his skin that was revealed tormented and teased Valkyrie's taste buds. She's said it before and she'll say it again, the man appeared to be carved out of bloody marble! Her mouth went slick with saliva at the thought of running her tongue over his many abs and muscles. She mentally shook her head and told herself to swallow the build-up of saliva that was in her mouth as Vex stalked closer back towards her.

"Well," she began, "that's one way to get crumbs off of you." She swallowed loudly as she stared at his body. His warm laugh reached her ears and the sound made her look up and see his face just inches from her. She let her arms wrap around his mid-section while her hands splayed across his muscled back.

'_I'm so proud to say,'_

'"_I love you,"' _Valkyrie mumbled before claiming his lips with hers. Vex laughed at her words before saying, "Are you talking to my body or me?" She smiled as she kissed his jaw, neck, collarbone and tanned shoulders. She nipped and licked at his skin before replying.

"A little bit of both I guess, but mostly your body."

"Mm," he murmured while he let her mouth work his skin, "I thought that might be the case."

She revealed a smile that could only be seen by his neck that was being kissed by her. He felt her skin stretch across his though and just because he couldn't see her happy smile, didn't mean he couldn't feel it.

"Oh, and for the record, I love you too." He whispered sweetly. Upon his declaration, he got a mouthful of Valkyrie's lips and he didn't mind one bit. Burly arms wrapped themselves around a petite waist as tongues danced with one another.

'_Your love's got me high,_

_I long to get by'_

Who knew someone could taste this good? Vex was on cloud nine as Valkyrie dragged him back towards the couch she slept on and straddled his lap. His wandering hands slipped themselves underneath the back of her shirt before tracing invisible delicate patterns. Her back arched under his touch and she longed to have his naked body on hers. She gulped in pleasure as he pushed her leather jacket from her shoulders. She heard it drop to the floor but instead of a soft 'thunk' sounding upon the impact, the sound of a door slamming rang through her ears. She broke apart Dexter's and hers kiss to look at him incredulously. He merely kept smiling up at her with those blissful eyes and tempting mouth. She decided to brush off what had just happened and give into the seductive look he was giving her. His white teeth were biting down softly on his bottom lip and Valkyrie took it from him with her own set of pearly-whites. She heard him groan and the rough sound rumbled against her throat, making her release a shuddering breath of ecstasy. His hands found her hips but instead of his velvety skin brushing over her own, his skin felt like the material of the couch. Valkyrie pulled away again but shook her head.

'_This time is forever'_

As soon as she shook her head though, she regretted it. Her vision went blurry and although she could see the outline of Vex's body, she couldn't feel him.

'What's going on…?' She thought to herself. The light seemed to be dimming and Vex's outline was fading quicker and quicker. Sheer urgency pounded in her head and she longed to extend her arm and reach out for Vex but she couldn't move. Her whole body felt like it was stand-still. Before her vision went black she called out to Vex.

"Vex!"

'_Love is the answer'_

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Valkyrie!" Vex called out to her.

Valkyrie jolted awake from her steamy dream and her hands fidgeted with her hair. When she sat up to see Vex though, she actually realised it was Skulduggery.

"Oh, hey Skul." She muttered, silently cursing him for waking her up from her dream.

"Valkyrie, what on earth were you dreaming about? You were muttering something useless about Cheezels or something," he tilted his head in amusement at her. At the word "Cheezels", Valkyrie looked down at her hands. Disappointingly, they were still covered in the cheezel flavouring and the crumbs were all over her top, not Vex's. Hah, some part of her actually wanted the dream to have been real so that when she woke up, she didn't have Cheezel all over her.

She gave an unsure smile up at Skulduggery. "I was eating Cheezels while watching F-R-I-E-N-D-S before I fell asleep, that must've been why I was talking about Cheezels in my sleep." She told him lamely. He seemed unsure of her answer, but didn't say any more about it.

"Okay, well, do you want a cup of coffee or something to wake you up? We've got a case to go through." At the mention of coffee, Valkyrie froze. She smiled a small knowing grin as she remembered Dexter's lips tasting like coffee in her dream.

"Sure Skulduggery, that'd be great. Thanks," she told him. He nodded at her before waltzing into the kitchen.

Before Valkyrie got up to follow him, she sat there for a minute and sent a little thought out to Vex.

'Damn you Dexter Vex, I just can't stop loving you!'

~END~

**FlawD: Not one of my best pieces, but hey, can you blame me? I've never written Dexkyrie before!**

**Valkyrie: No one blames you FlawD, just maybe, y'know, give the readers something good next time…**

**FlawD: Hey, do you want to die next chapter!?**

**Valkyrie: ….No….**

**FlawD: Yeah I don't want you to either so don't worry, only joking Val**

**Skulduggery: FlawD, we need to talk…**

**FlawD: No we don't! **

**Skulduggery: Yes we do, we need to talk about what happened before this chapter – **

**FlawD: Well then you're gonna have to catch me! *runs away while flailing arms about***

**Skulduggery: Sometimes I wonder if she's "all there", it seems that she forgets that I can fly *flies after FlawDiamonds***

**Dexter: Well, while Skulduggery chases after FlawD to get some answers, I suggest you all fill the time with reading and reviewing Collection Of Songfics! :)**


	19. Don't Be Cruel - Valsard

~Valkyrie x Hansard~

**A/N: 'Ello, 'ello! *hugs you* How have you been? Any drama? Me? Well, I've just been filling my days watching Will & Grace and F-R-I-E-N-D-S. In other words, I've been bloody great! Had a costume party last night too, went as Ron Burgundy – I looked pretty damn convincing! Even got best costume award, not bragging or anything ;) For those of you who don't know who Ron Burgundy is, I suggest you stay classy and watch the film Anchorman! Anywho, on with the fic! Here's some Valsard? Oh who cares, here's another songfic! Yay, Cheap Trick! Woo**

**FlawD: Hansard, if you would do the honours**

**Hansard: I'm really just here for FlawD's entertainment, she uses me, but she doesn't own me. She doesn't own anything else from Skulduggery Pleasant either**

**Valkyrie: This is ****your**** 'To Do' list: Read, enjoy, reviewreviewreview, favourite, follow, leave any pairings you want to see as a review or just PM FlawDiamonds :)**

**FlawD: I'm Ron Burgundy, you stay classy San Diego!**

**Normal POV**

_Don't Be Cruel – Cheap Trick_

"Skulduggery, move your fat, non-existent ass out the door already!" Valkyrie ordered while pushing Skulduggery out the door.

"Alright, alright! I'll go! On one condition though, you text me every now and then to update me on how the date's going," he stuck out his hand, "deal?" Valkyrie eyed him cautiously before meeting his hand with hers in a solid handshake.

"Deal. Now go! I don't want Hansard coming when you're here."

"What? How come? What's wrong with me? Does he not like me? What has he said about me? Does he need a good talking to from the Great Skeleton Detective? Does he hate me? Have I done anything to hurt him? Has he ever hurt you? Do I need to issue a warrant for his arrest? What has he done to you Val!?"

"…And that is why you're not staying."

"I don't get it, did I say something wrong?"

Valkyrie sighed. "You didn't say anything wrong Skulduggery, thank you for being concerned. I'll see you soon," she chuckled as she looked at his confused form before leaning in and giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Alrighty, I'll call you later Val." He gave her a happy tilt of the head before signing off with a little wave. She grinned after him and watched the Bentley roar around the corner. In quick succession she shut the door to race back to the lounge room and inspect her surroundings.

The glass coffee table had smart and intellectual magazines fanned out elegantly while her Cosmopolitan and Dolly magazines were stashed in her bedside table upstairs. Her rom-coms and Jim Carrey collection were hidden in the left side of the TV unit while her dramatic and mind-bending films were on full display. The Da Vinci Code, Inception, The Matrix Trilogy, The Illusionist and others were all out in the open to give off the impression that she was more than just a sniffling woman at the end of any romantic comedy starring Gerard Butler.

No, Valkyrie Cain doesn't waste her time watching heated make-out sessions between reunited lovers. She certainly doesn't fantasise that she were the one that was Noah's girlfriend in The Notebook and she certainly didn't cry in P.S I Love You. Yes, Miss Valkyrie Cain was above all that nonsense, obviously.

Satisfied with the living area, she quickly checked the kitchen. Everything was looking spick-and-span, a result she was pleased with.

*Knock, knock*

'Oh my magic, that's gotta be him!' Valkyrie's mind squealed. Briskly walking to the door, she checked her appearance on the way past before standing before the front door. She smoothed down her raven hair and flashed herself a quick smile to check she didn't have anything in her teeth.

"Inhale…exhale." She whispered to herself. Her toes tingled as her hand rested on the cold golden door handle. With a twist of her wrist and a pull of her arm, the front door swung open to reveal a handsome Hansard Kray.

"Valkyrie!" He beamed. "How have you been?" He questioned as he leant in and wrapped his arms around her waist. Valkyrie grinned while Hansard held her in a warm embrace.

"I've been just fine Hansard, how goes your father? Still hating me for destroying his Gods?" She teased while pulling back as Hansard pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. Valkyrie felt her stomach reel in a cyclone of butterflies while smiling stupidly at him. His lips felt like rich velvet across her skin!

"Yes sadly, he's still embarrassing as ever too, if that makes you feel any better."

"It does actually," Valkyrie laughed, "Come in by the way!" Hansard showed his dazzling smile to her again before nodding and stepping inside. Valkyrie motioned for him to go down the hall and into the lounge room. As he walked past her, a wave of his aftershave wafted past and Valkyrie swore she was in Heaven.

"He even smells like perfection," she muttered to herself while closing the door.

"So Hansard," she began as she strolled into the lounge room, "I have to say, you're looking very handsome. New suit?" She hoped it was a new suit. It looked so fresh and clean and his lean build filled it out perfectly. Her eyes did a quick wash over his midnight suit complete with a black silk tie before trailing back up towards his face.

Hansard ran a hand through his silky golden hair before lifting his stellar cerulean eyes to meet her honey-coloured ones. "Yes actually, I'm going out to dinner with some of the family tonight after our catch up so I thought it'd be nice if I dressed appropriately."

Valkyrie felt the urge to frown when he referred to their date as a simple "catch up" but brushed it away. Instead she nodded in agreement with a small smile on her pink lips.

"With you looking so fantastic, I feel slightly under-dressed!" She exclaimed, knowing full-well that she didn't feel under-dressed. Her tight business skirt and cream blouse gave her a regal look and her simple black heels clicked across the floor boards as she made her way into the kitchen. She heard Hansard follow her and she glanced behind her with a smile on her face as she saw him with his arms crossed and leaning against the door frame. He shook his perfect head at her in disbelief.

"Are you serious Val? You look beautiful," he told her while laughing when a blush appeared on her face. He called her _beautiful_. Not "hot" or "smoking". He didn't say she was "sexy" either. She remembered that she had once been called "bangable" and she was so glad he didn't say that!

"Well, um – thank you Hansard," her honey eyes swirled with adoration as she looked at him. She turned back around to face the kitchen counter and flicked on the kettle.

"Do you want a coffee or anything?"

"That'd be great, thanks. Black with one sugar please," he asked kindly.

'He even drinks coffee the same as I do!' Valkyrie mentally told herself, 'it's definitely meant to be.' She wanted to snort at her own pathetic comment but didn't in fear that she'd scare of Hansard if she told him she was mentally conversing with herself.

"Sure thing, while the kettle's boiling do you want to pick out a movie for us to watch?" Valkyrie questioned while reaching to grab some mugs from the cupboard above her.

"Yeah, sounds good."

Valkyrie walked after Hansard and her eyesight accidently fell onto his _very _fit bum. She presumed that his body underneath his clothes was just as perfect as the rest of him and if that was the case, he could've been a model. He ventured over to her TV unit and peered closer at the DVD's that sat atop it.

"The Da Vinci Code huh?" Hansard asked while straightening up which caused Valkyrie's eyes to snap up back to his face. She gave a bright smile before answering.

"Yep,"

"Such an intellectual movie, it takes a smart mind to understand it." Hansard commented.

'Good work Val, he thinks you're smart!'

"Definitely, it's one of my favourites," she lied, "Do you like it as well?" she asked hopefully. Hansard just seemed so proper and smart.

"No," he said while shaking his head.

Valkyrie's face fell.

"I'm not surprised you like it so much, I'd guess Skulduggery would to since it's a massive mystery and conspiracy getting uncovered by some serious detective work. But for me, it has too many twists and turns that I can't even _attempt_ to tryand follow." He laughed softly while shaking his head at himself. He went back to looking at her collection while Valkyrie mentally slapped herself in the face.

'Good work Val, now he thinks you're _too_ smart for him. Way to go!'

"So what kind of movie guy are you then?" She asked curiously.

He glanced at her from his bending position, with his slender hands in his pockets. "Me? Well I'm the kind of guy that likes a good rom-com but I'm the kind of guy that _loves _comedy films. I'm a big Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell fan myself but nothing beats a good Jim Carrey film." Valkyrie just felt herself die and go to Heaven. Her breath got caught in her throat and an overwhelming sense to hyper-ventilate crashed through her system. She had found her perfect man. It was exactly like those moments in the romantic comedies she had watched. She smiled a loving grin at him before batting her eyelids slightly.

"Well in that case, take a look at this." She beamed at him while she opened the cabinet on her left and revealed her collection of her _real _favourite movies. She watched as Hansard's eyes danced with happiness and excitement and she duly noted the slight flutter in her heart. Just as she was about to suggest they pick one of the movies together, a small beep of the kettle sounded. Her attention was brought back to their coffees and while Hansard's eyes were still running over the many movie titles – she let her face show her disappointment of the moment being ruined.

"Why don't you pick out a movie while I get our coffees ready, hmm?"

He gave her a cheery smile while nodding. She gave one of her own back while her eyes glittered as she studied his beauty again.

"I'll be right back," she said as she made her way back into the kitchen. She got working on their coffees while humming happily to herself. She could hear some DVD's being pulled out of their place and some being put back again. She only hoped he picked out a Jim Carrey movie or an Adam Sandler one since he said he loved them so much. Unconsciously, she began to smile to the black coffees in front of her and her head felt light with the thought of Hansard and herself getting cosy on the couch.

Once her body was back into the lounge room, Hansard turned around to face her with three DVD's in his hands.

"You want to watch all of them?" Valkyrie said in shock.

Hansard laughed softly. "No silly, I was hoping we could pick one together out of these three." Valkyrie beamed up at him.

'He's so considerate and wonderful!'

"Oh cool, I'll put our coffees on the coffee table and then I can take a look at what you've picked out." She walked to the small table like she said she would before placing their mugs down on its shiny surface. Once she was facing "Handsome" Kray as Valkyrie liked to silently call him, she read the titles on the movies he was holding.

"50 First Dates, Yes Man and Love Actually…Adam Sandler, Jim Carrey and a whole line up of actors including one sexy Hugh Grant, what to pick, what to pick," she muttered to Hansard. He laughed at her heartedly.

"I noticed that you were such a Carrey fan since you…have all his films…so I thought it was only fair if I chose one of your favourite actors that are in a film and I chose one of mine and then I picked Love Actually because let's be honest, you can never go wrong with Love Actually. You can also never go wrong with, what did you say again? Oh yes, "one sexy Hugh Grant"." Valkyrie and Hansard laughed together before deciding to pick Yes Man. Valkyrie plucked Yes Man from Hansard's grasp and when their fingers touched, she blushed like a love struck schoolgirl. Hansard just smiled worriedly down at her.

"Is there something wrong?"

Valkyrie wanted to laugh. Nothing was wrong, Hansard was just perfectly right. She hid her blushing cheeks behind her hair and quickly walked over to the DVD player.

"No, nothing's wrong. I'll just put on the film, yeah?" her smile faulted but Hansard either didn't see it or chose to ignore it.

"Yeah," he said while sliding easily into the couch while grabbing his still-hot coffee. He tentatively took a sip of the black brew after cooling it down and mumbled appreciatively. "Mm, fantastic, thank you." Valkyrie sent him a flirty wink in acknowledgement of his compliment but Hansard was immune to her flirtatious move as he was staring into his coffee mug. Valkyrie frowned briefly before shrugging. She made her way to the spot next to Hansard on the couch and took her own blue mug into her hands.

Slowly, Valkyrie edged a little closer to Hansard so they were sitting side-by-side. She looked up at him shyly but his friendly smile put her at ease. Her shoulders relaxed and her muscles had loosened, she was comfortable next to Hansard. Pfft, who was she kidding, anyone would feel comfortable sitting next to Hansard. The man is like a god.

She took a sip of her coffee to hide the small smile that was on her face. Once she made sure that "Handsome" was alright and didn't want anything to eat or drink, she got the movie underway.

They sat in comfortable close quarters and they laughed and cried at the jokes and the hilarious faces Jim Carrey had done. Although Valkyrie had seen the movie too many times to count, she found herself still being enraptured in the story line and characters. But somewhere at the back of her mind, was the thought of herself making a move of Hansard. She was at least 90% sure that he knew she liked him. After all the times she had caught up with him and talked to him, she always made sure to slip in subtle flirting techniques here and there. She did say to him that it would be just _them two_ today when he caught up and he sounded more than happy to hang out with _only her. _

Valkyrie sighed happily and made the decision to gently rest her head against his shoulder. His probably perfect body didn't even flinch! She bit her lip to stop herself from smiling. She wanted to squeal in delight though when he slung his arm over the back of the couch on the side that she was sitting on.

'Maybe if his arm just somehow fell, it would cause his hand to land on her hip…or – or her lower back or something…' her thoughts trailed off. When she was in her own little world of "Hansard & Valkyrie", she didn't even realise that the sweet kiss scene between Jim Carrey and Zooey Deschanel was about to play through. Her attention snapped back to the movie and just as Carrey's and Deschanel's lips were about to meet, Valkyrie closed her eyes just for a second and pictured that it was herself and Hansard.

Those velvet lips of his pressed sweetly in a burning passion against hers. Their passion and intimacy towards one another was hotter than the bushfires in Australia. He'd run his smooth tongue over her bottom lip, causing her to shiver in a peculiar exotic heaven. He'd taste of the fresh honey that her eyes looked the exquisite colour of. His scent would fill her nostrils and clog her mind until she wasn't surrounded in anything else but _him. _She'd run her eager fingers up the expensive material of his new suit until she had travelled far up enough to play with the ends of his simply gorgeous blonde tresses. His feather-like touch would cause her mind to reel and her body's sensitivity to go into over-drive. Those wonderful hands of his would trace invisible patterns on her lower back until they reached lower and –

"Valkyrie?" Hansard questioned urgently.

'_Don't stop thinkin' of me'_

"Mm?" Valkyrie murmured while slowly opening her closed eyes to reveal the sight of her lips ready and pursed towards Hansard's. Speaking of Hansard…he was leaning back as far as he could before getting stopped by the armchair of the couch.

'_Don't make me feel this way'_

'Crap…that is _not _a good sign!' Her mind panicked.

"What are you doing!?"

"U-um, isn't this where the end of our date was heading to?" Valkyrie gulped while growing hot under the collar. How embarrassing!

'_Come over and love me'_

Hansard's eyebrow's knit together in confusion. "Date? Valkyrie, this wasn't a date…was it?"

"We-well, I thought it, um, was…"

"I'm sorry Valkyrie, I thought this was just a catch up between friends," Hansard said while sliding himself out from beneath Valkyrie's confused body, "and obviously Skulduggery didn't give you the memo," he continued cautiously.

'_You know I want you to stay'_

"What…memo…?" Valkyrie dreaded the answer.

"I'm gay, Valkyrie."

'_But don't be cruel'_

Oh Skulduggery was going to get a beating when he got home!

Valkyrie covered her shocked face with her hands and resisted the urge to call Skulduggery and abuse the magic out of his bones.

"Of course you are. Of course the perfect man exists but he bats for his own team! And of course I go and attempt to kiss him," she began, dejected, "I'm sorry Hansard for putting you through that, you must think I'm pathetic or crazy or something," she muttered.

Hansard looked down at her in sympathy before shaking his head softly. "I don't think you're pathetic Val – I would never. You being crazy though, yeah a little," he joked weakly but still earned a tired laugh from her.

'_To a heart that's true'_

Valkyrie collected herself to save face and stood before Hansard – trying to regain some of the confidence she was known for. "Look Hansard, can we just forget this ever happened? Well, at least forget the part about me trying to kiss you? Because I found the rest of our get-together quite fun," she tried light-heartedly. Hansard looked at while smiling kindly.

"That sounds fine with me Miss Cain," he checked his watch, "but for now, I must be going and heading off to dinner with the family. Good god, spending an entire evening with my father – wish me luck!" he said as he made his way down the hallway. She opened the front door for him and still looked at him with an apologetic smile.

"Come here Val," he gathered her in his arms again, "we'll catch up again, yes?" his voice dripping with hopefulness.

"Yes, of course Hansard! I'm surprised you still want to!"

He waved a careless hand in front of her. "Don't be silly Valkyrie, I enjoy hanging out with you. Well I'll see you soon then," he pressed a good-bye kiss to her cheek before stepping back and grinning at her.

Valkyrie nodded her head happily. "I'll be sure to contact you about a possible catch-up. Good luck with your father tonight too!" She called after him as he made his way to his car. He turned around and yelled a quick "thank you!" before waving his hand at her. She waved back and smiled after his car before closing the front door behind her and leaning against it.

She heaved an embarrassment lidded sigh before whispering to herself, "That is possible the most embarrassing thing I've ever done in my life!"

Remembrance sparked in her mind and a conniving thought lit up her mind. Getting her phone out, she clicked on the contact at the top of her favourite's list.

"Bloody damn skeleton…having me invite Hansard over…he bloody knew…knew I was going to make a flamin' idiot of myself," Valkyrie muttered angrily as her thumbs flew over the keyboard.

**Valkyrie: **Hey Skul, did you really like that midnight fedora you left at mine?

**Skulduggery: **…You know it's one of my favourites, why?

**Valkyrie: **Just thought I'd let you know that it _accidently _went up in flames because I _accidently _chucked it in the oven after you _accidently _forgot to slip me the important detail concerning Hansard's interest in men. Love you xx

**FlawD: This was actually really fun to write! By the way, I don't actually think Hansard is gay, I just think it's sooo much more fun to tease and embarrass Valkyrie!**

**Valkyrie: Jeeze, you are so thoughtful, thanks -.-**

**FlawD: Heh, sorry Val**

**Hansard: *stares at reflection in compact mirror* Is that really me? In there? Looking at me!?...lucky me**

**Skulduggery: Oh please Hansard, while you have the skin, I have the bone structure!**

**FlawD: …**

**Valkyrie: …**

**Hansard: …**

**Skulduggery: No need to tell me, I know it was a horrible joke. ANYWAYS, READ, REVIEW, FAVOURITE, FOLLOW AND SEND PAIRINGS! Thank you ladies and gentlemen, *tips fedora* always a pleasure! :D**


End file.
